Help!

[GSA2019]

Hi.
So my son has been sitting on the potty since he was about a year old, having wees before bathtime etc.
When he reached 2, we decided to let him run round the house with no nappy, and he went to the potty every time for a wee. We then tried him with pants on. He wet himself a little at first but then did go to the potty to finish his wee. He is now 2.5 years and up until a week ago, he was going to the potty every time for a wee, sometime he did wee a little in his pants but then ran to the potty, which is fine. Now however, he has started just weeing through his pants onto the sofa/floor, and has done this the past few days. His wet pants don’t seem to bother him as he just carries on playing with his toys. I am furious with him as I know he can do it. He still wears a nappy on a night and when we leave the house, but when he is in the house he is in his pants.

One good thing is that no matter what he is wearing, nappy/pants/trousers etc. He always runs to the big toilet for poos, which is brilliant and I am so proud of him for that.

I know that I have probably started potty training far too young and dragging it on for years hasn’t helped but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him sit on the potty and learning- obviously not!

Now I don’t know what to do.
Do I go back to nappies all day/night?
Do I just carry on letting him have accidents and hope he grows out of them?
Do I go back to him running round with nothing on?

We had to put him back in nappies a few months ago due to me having bad morning sickness with baby number 2, so that hasn’t helped either!

Any help will be much appreciated!

I wouldn't be putting nappies on when he goes out or in the car etc. I would just go for it but of course take him to the loo frequently and after meals, drinks.Don't be furious either .Is he well? Rule out urine infection. Night time nappies are fine, that is a different issue.

I think you're giving mixed messages by using nappies sometimes but not others. I'd also get rid of the potty.

We did try without nappies when we left the house but he just wets himself. It seems as soon as he feels anything touching his private area, he thinks he has a nappy on. We will give it another go without nappies when we leave the house.
He seems fine in himself, so don’t think it is that. It’s just weird that he is perfect when he runs around with nothing on.

Could I ask why to get rid of the potty?

@yikesanotherbooboo
We did try without nappies when we left the house but he just wets himself. It seems as soon as he feels anything touching his private area, he thinks he has a nappy on. We will give it another go without nappies when we leave the house.

He seems fine in himself, so don’t think it is that. It’s just weird that he is perfect when he runs around with nothing on.

I don't think you've done anything wrong. Even when you potty train in the traditional way, they sometimes regress or go through a phase where they wet themselves to claim a bit of independence or because they're tired or hormonal etc. He might have picked up on the changes with the pregnancy, esp if you're tired or sick etc, and be a bit unsettled. Think about it from his point of view, it's scary if your mum is ill and something momentous is going on that you don't quite understand.

If I were you, I'd wait til you are out of the morning sickness phase then try to go for full potty training, indoors and out. We did the oh crap book method where they start indoors with a bare bum and work their way up to pants and outings, but you can do it all kinds of ways really. It's just keeping at it.

We also used to attach a consequence to DC wetting when we thought they had control of it but were doing it out of laziness/rebellion - getting them to help with wiping it up and making a bit of a fuss about how we have to stop playing and sort it out, wash them down when they could be having fun doing something else.

So basically, I'd love bomb hima bit now in case he's unsettled, then when you're up to it, go for potty training with lots of encouragement and a few consequences for accidents you thought he could have avoided.

Even if it's annoying if he goes on the sofa, try not to get too cross - just a neutral 'oh dear, we need to clean this up now' is better as he might find it fascinating if you show annoyance, and want to do it more.

Good luck, he'll get there one way or another!

I agree with a PP that you’ve given your DS really mixed messages about what he’s expected to do.

Ignoring the nighttime nappies because night dryness is hormonal, if you want to tackle this now then all other times nappies need to go.

I’d also get rid of the potty and stick with a seat for the big toilet and really push the message that all toileting needs to be done in the bathroom. You’ll only have the issue of reinforcing this later on if you don’t do it now, along with another possible regression.

Also, if you know he has issues when you go out, encourage him to go to the toilet every. single. time. you’re going to be leaving the house. Have a reward chart/sweets specifically for this to encourage it in the short term, as it really minimises the possibility of him going in his pants as soon as you leave the house.

If you can’t commit fully to doing it, then just put him back in nappies and start again when you do have time, but it’s likely to be a lot harder when you have another baby in the mix, so personally I’d just grit my teeth and do it now.

Maybe just needs a wee incentive to get back on track as he's been doing great. Have you tried a sticker chart them a prize when chart is filled. We started young too with out children and always had a wee bit of regression. We did 3 stickers them a treat them once chart was full a bigger prize book, toy etc.
Good luck