4 year old boy poo in pants

[houseofboy]

At the end of our tether, ds4 and still poo's his pants more often than not. Goes to school in September been potty trained over a year and no issues with wee's. He was pretty much there before February half term regressed then and it's been a constant battle since sometimes asks but often doesn't, if we see the signs in time he will go on the toilet to do it. Will happily poo in his pants and not say anything even saying he hasn't someone's.

Now desperate we have tried rewards in the past complete with chart and tried being cross and having consequences neither make a difference or seems.

Any ideas of how to crack it very very very much appreciated

Tough love. DS went through a phase of wetting and all it took in the end was 'do you wee in your pants?' no 'where does wee go?' in the toilet 'does wee go anywhere else?' no 'so all your wee needs to go in the toilet.' okay mummy

Look on the Eric website. Sit him on the potty approx mins after each meal time. Healthy diet with lots of water. Is he constipated? Poo goes to pooland app.

What worked for my friend was making pooing his pants a real pain in the arse (pun intended) for her son. So, he's pooed his pants, now he has to stop what he's doing, take them off, put them in the wash, and go and have a shower. Every. Single. Time. Took about 3 instances til he realised it was far more trouble than it was worth, and stopped.

Yes this is what we did (but for lazy wee accidents when 4 year old DS suddenly couldn't be bothered to stop playing and use the loo when nature called).
Check that there's no underlying reason such as constipation or loose stools and if you're sure it's just behavioural, do as suggested here.

DS was like this.
Please don’t be cross or give consequences, thats counterproductive. it’s apparently quite a common thing in boys.

Ours eventually cracked it when he got a big round of applause and an immediate reward (toy car, comic, packet of buttons or whatever) Stars on a reward chart just didn’t work but lots of “well done for pooing on the potty/toilet, (clap, clap, clap) let’s get you a big treat for being a good boy pooing on the potty/toilet” finally did the trick. It took months of doing that consistently though. He will get there.

My son had this and it turned out he was severely constipated. He had to have laxatives for months and the soiling was overflow poo which travels around the blockage when the rectum is stretched. I second the ERIC website for some great advice but you probably need to see the GP for Cosmocol and possibly a stimulant.

Thanks this one sounds like a good one that we haven't tried.

We have done tough love and he knows where they are supposed to go makes no difference.

Echoing @carringtonm is he definitely pooing or is it marks/staining? The latter is a sign of severe constipation. Our friend’s DS had this; they thought she was lazy/defiant but it was actually overflow and couldn’t be helped!

Hmm so sometimes it's just marks so looks like this is something we need to look into

DS would poo his night-time nappy within five minutes of it going on. We didn't make a fuss about it, but the real turning point was when his little sister pooed on the toilet for the first time, and had a lot of fuss. He very quickly followed! There is only 15 months between them.

My son had this and it turned out he was severely constipated. He had to have laxatives for months and the soiling was overflow poo which travels around the blockage when the rectum is stretched. I second the ERIC website for some great advice but you probably need to see the GP for Cosmocol and possibly a stimulant.
This exact thing happened to my son. You can be forgiven for thinking it can't be constipation if it's loose but it really can. The main thing is never to tell them off for it (we used to call them 'sneaky poos' in a jolly voice) and make sure they had enough water/medication if on it (GP first call!) and of course lots of showers and clean clothes. They grow out of it but it can be a bit of a challenge.

Just wanted to say thanks to alll. He has been prescribed laxatives so fingers crossed that helps him

We’re at this stage and have been on a variety of laxatives for a few months.
If she has no pants on she goes on the toilet. If she has pants on she soils her pants.
They tell me she can’t feel it properly but I don’t know how that can be the case when she goes ok without pants on.
Has anyone else had this issue and can provide and support for me?

We have had amazing success we haven't had an accident for a couple of weeks now and even when he did he told us he needed to go but was a bit loose so didn't get there in time. He happily will go now too so now just feel guilty we didn't try something sooner but hopefully we have turned a corner.

I can't imagine how hard that is, sounds like she doesn't like doing it in the toilet/ potty hence won't do it when naked either.