Totally Lost

[Zippyzooza]

I’m totally lost with toilet training my DD (almost 3.5).
We have tried every strategy we can think of and have read more articles than I can remember but we are just not making progress.

She will wee in the toilet at home, DGP’s if we take her and get our timing right but she has not once asked to go and use the toilet.

If we are out of the house she refuses to go to the toilet and becomes quite distressed at the idea of it. Being wet doesn’t seem to bother her at all.

Nursery have tried various strategies as well but have made no progress either.

Has anyone experienced similar? Any suggestions?

I'm having exactly the same issue with my DD, she also is 3.5 and never asks to go.Sometimes when wet asks to be changed but not very often.
Like you, we have tried everyting (including bribery with chocolate) nothing works.
Nursery is trying as well but with not much luck.
I genuinely don't know what else can we do, sorry I know its not helpful

Yes. My DD was fully trained at home but refused to use any toilets out of the home.

Was a nightmare for quite a while. In the end I bribed her with chocolate & sweets- first just to sit fully clothed on a toilet at grandparents house. Then gradually trying with clothes off. It took a long time- and each new toilet she used needed more bribery. I went everywhere with chocolate.

I really struggled to hold my temper when she constantly wet herself- I knew she could do it at home, but she chose not to use toilets anywhere else.

Many people thought I was lying when I said she was trained at home because she had so many accidents everywhere else.

Doctor wasn't helpful, though they did check for infection.

Finally got over it at about 4. Struggled with the start of school, and several accidents when she first started. But then one day she got over it.
Never had any problems since.

Someone did tell me it was all about control. Her control over the situation- it's one thing they have absolute control over.

Over 10 years ago now, and I think it was the hardest parenting thing I had to do. (I have 4 kids, and the others potty trained without any fuss at all)

We are still taking a plastic jug with lid for wees out and about and hes 5.
he was fine a nursery and is fine at school though.

@Grazka Thanks for your response. It’s helpful to know I’m not the only one having these issues 😫
@poshme I think control is a definite issue. DD is a very shy wee soul and think that’s also playing a part.
We’ve tried chocolate/treats but it’s like the idea of going to the loo is so awful she’ll still refuse.

It’s the biggest challenge we’ve faced so far and can’t help feeling like we’ve done something wrong along the way although I’ve no idea what.

@Orangesare Good to hear he has been ok at school as that’s a big fear of mine.