3 year old holding it in

violetolivia · 2022-06-16T14:42:35+00:00

My little girl turned 3 last week. She's never shown interest in potty training but I was always gonna try when she turned 3 She knows what the potty and the toilet is for. But it's like she's scared to wee in them. She will hold her wee for so long, until little drops start to come out and she gets distressed. It she will wait until we leave the house and I have to put a pull up on. Is she just not ready? I've ended up just putting a pull up on today because she was getting really upset. Also holding your wee for so long can't be healthy!

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jpeg32 · 16/06/2022 18:15

Mine is doing the same!! I'm at my wits end!! She holds it for 12-24 hours at a time!!

MolliciousIntent · 16/06/2022 18:19

If she's able to hold it, she's ready to train. What is she scared of, how is her communication? Have you tried bribery? We did a choccy button for every trip to the potty (regardless of what happened then) for about a week, then we did one for every successful trip to the potty, then we said we'd run out of choccy buttons and did a "well done dance" instead. We still do a bit of a well done boogie now, 6 months on!

MissShapesMissStakes · 16/06/2022 18:20

Is she holding it in only when her nappy isn't on, or do you mean all the time whether in a nappy or not?

I wouldn't push it if she is only holding it in when she doesn't have her nappy on. I think you risk some serious negative feelings towards toileting that could last a long time.

Just try again in a month or so?

Original poster

violetolivia · 16/06/2022 18:22

MolliciousIntent · 16/06/2022 18:19

If she's able to hold it, she's ready to train. What is she scared of, how is her communication? Have you tried bribery? We did a choccy button for every trip to the potty (regardless of what happened then) for about a week, then we did one for every successful trip to the potty, then we said we'd run out of choccy buttons and did a "well done dance" instead. We still do a bit of a well done boogie now, 6 months on!

Her communication is ok, maybe not as great as some her age.
She definitely doesn't understand why she's scared or she doesn't know how to communicate it with me.

I was wondering if I should get a new potty, maybe them ones that are like miniature toilets that you can flush etc
Might make it more exciting for her.

Right now I'm just hoping if I keep trying every day it'll just happen

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Original poster

violetolivia · 16/06/2022 18:23

jpeg32 · 16/06/2022 18:15

Mine is doing the same!! I'm at my wits end!! She holds it for 12-24 hours at a time!!

It drives you crazy doesn't it!!

How old is your little one?

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MissShapesMissStakes · 16/06/2022 18:23

There's two totally different approaches to kick you off!

Just shows we all have different ways, just like kids have different ways and times they do things.

jpeg32 · 16/06/2022 18:50

She's almost 3, it's so annoying! She has just gone to bed and hasn't done a wee for about 16 hours. I actually don't know what to do!
It makes no difference if she is in a nappy or not now.

Original poster

violetolivia · 16/06/2022 18:54

jpeg32 · 16/06/2022 18:50

She's almost 3, it's so annoying! She has just gone to bed and hasn't done a wee for about 16 hours. I actually don't know what to do!
It makes no difference if she is in a nappy or not now.

That's my worry, that she'll get so anxious about going for a wee she holds it in all the time.

God parenting is just a one obstacle after another forever isn't it 😂😂

If you figure out anything that works for you please let me know.
It is nice to know we're not alone in this!

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Original poster

violetolivia · 16/06/2022 18:56

MissShapesMissStakes · 16/06/2022 18:20

Is she holding it in only when her nappy isn't on, or do you mean all the time whether in a nappy or not?

I wouldn't push it if she is only holding it in when she doesn't have her nappy on. I think you risk some serious negative feelings towards toileting that could last a long time.

Just try again in a month or so?

She's only holding it without a nappy at the moment. As soon as the nappy goes on she wee's

I'm worried if I continue to push her she'll start holding it all the time and become anxious about going.

I was gonna leave it for a month and try again

The lovely mums at playgroup will love that! They always have to comment how she's not potty trained and their younger children are 🙄🙄

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jpeg32 · 16/06/2022 18:57

I'll let you know if anything miraculous happens!!

MissShapesMissStakes · 16/06/2022 19:33

@violetolivia - ah don't worry about them. Kids keep you on your toes in one way or another. They'll have something they're dealing with too. As long as it's sorting well in time for school it'll be fine.

I would take the pressure of both of you for now. My youngest does nothing she is 'supposed' to do. But then she sorts it herself in her own time when people aren't expecting and watching.

barneymcgroo · 16/06/2022 19:46

I think there's a trick where you put them in a nappy, but sitting on the loo/potty. Do that for a bit, usual praise etc if she does something, even in the nappy. Then cut a little hole, so it's not too much of a change.

I'm not describing it well, but a little google will give you some tips.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 16/06/2022 19:51

I tried too hard with my dd and she started holding poo in which was a complete nightmare for about 2 years. She then completely potty trained at 3 and 4 months so don't stress too much. I wish I'd left it. She was dry at night soon after as well.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 16/06/2022 19:52

Dr Ranj had a tv shoe about it at the time which really helped

Nickimaci · 17/06/2022 14:39

Hi, I could have wrote this myself. My daughter is 3 years 3 months, this is the second time we’ve started potty training and as before she’s witholding her wee and point blank refuses to use the potty or toilet at home however will use it at nursery which i’m finding quite frustrating as she tells me she doesn’t like the potty or toilet xx

Original poster

violetolivia · 17/06/2022 15:44

Nickimaci · 17/06/2022 14:39

Hi, I could have wrote this myself. My daughter is 3 years 3 months, this is the second time we’ve started potty training and as before she’s witholding her wee and point blank refuses to use the potty or toilet at home however will use it at nursery which i’m finding quite frustrating as she tells me she doesn’t like the potty or toilet xx

It's just so frustrating.
She turned 3 last week so I'm gonna give it a month and then start again.
She's just stressed with it as am I!

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violetolivia · 17/06/2022 15:46

MissShapesMissStakes · 16/06/2022 19:33

@violetolivia - ah don't worry about them. Kids keep you on your toes in one way or another. They'll have something they're dealing with too. As long as it's sorting well in time for school it'll be fine.

I would take the pressure of both of you for now. My youngest does nothing she is 'supposed' to do. But then she sorts it herself in her own time when people aren't expecting and watching.

This message was so needed! So thank you!

I put so much pressure on myself and worry so much.

I'm a single mum, Olivia is my first, my mum died unexpectedly in March, she was only 52 and my only help/advice giver.

So I think I could do with just leaving it for a bit!

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