Boy leaking in his pants

[frazzled101]

I trained my son just a few weeks before he turned 3. It was tough going but we finally got there except for 1 ongoing problem, he leaks a little in his pants.

He's now 3 and a half and it's still happening. He'll tell me he needs to go and when he's going I see a wet spot on his pants. This can happen 4/5 times on a bad day. Very occasionally we'll get a full dry day. Sometimes he'll also tell me that he's wet his pants.

He doesn't care at all. He gets a chocolate button if he goes to the toilet and has dry pants, and will tell me no chocolate when he's wet his pants. I've tried ignoring it, I've tried telling him off, I've tried asking him to go regularly. I tried a reward at the end of a day if he stays dry all day but he doesn't understand the concept. He has no interest or understanding of stickers or reward charts.

Today I've tried setting an hourly alarm on my phone to remind him to go, but he'd already wet his pants within the hour. He tends to do better when we're out and about but at home it's constant changes of pants/bottoms.

Any wisdom? I thought he'd grow out of it and I'm sure he still will, but it's been 6 mths now.

I’m following this with interest as I’m having a similar issue with my 3.5 DS. He seemed to get potty training very quickly (started quite gently at about 2.10) and we go through periods that are great. But then we get a run of accidents at nursery and often have the ‘wet spot’ issue too. My DS has been super motivated by stickers charts and chocolate button rewards but seems to get bored of them after a while. I sometimes think that we trained him too late - he seemed to learn to hold it (for ages!) pretty early on and I sometimes think this is part of the problem. He can be quite stubborn about not needing a wee even when he hasn’t been for ages and I think he then just can’t hold it in any longer and doesn’t make it to the toilet in time. Interesting you said that he’s better when you’re out - I find the same thing!

@Birdybirdbirdy I do think the biggest issue is stubbornness. I can remind him so many times but he'll almost always say he doesn't need to go. Then if I do manage to convince him to try, he does go.

Out and about it's the novelty of new and different toilets I think. My DH took him away on Saturday for the full day and was tortured bringing him to the toilet as he wanted to go so many times, but he kept his pants dry all day, and that is extremely rare.

My health visitor was out last week for my 4mth old, and I was speaking to get about it, but I know he is too stubborn to try her suggestions which were mainly take him every 30 mins, and when he goes make him sit on the toilet for 3 mins each time.

Nursery were taking DS every 30 mins and it actually made the problem worse…! Boys/men do have a shorter urethra and supposedly can’t hold it for so long which is maybe causing the wet dot. We never have full accidents at home so that’s one positive I guess. But I am bored of washing pants 😂

Have you considered constipation? That can cause pressure that leads to leaking urine (I assume you're talking about urine). If leaking poo it can still be caused by constipation.

Chocolate, while a nice idea for a reward, can also cause constipation.

Also consider a UTI (urinary tract infection).

@TheVillageShop thanks for your comment. He generally has a poo once a day so I'm not too concerned about that side.

I actually had him checked for a UTI recently but it was clear.

@Birdybirdbirdy

Nursery were taking DS every 30 mins and it actually made the problem worse…! Boys/men do have a shorter urethra and supposedly can’t hold it for so long which is maybe causing the wet dot. We never have full accidents at home so that’s one positive I guess. But I am bored of washing pants 😂

Boys have a longer urethra, the distance from bladder to penis tip is longer because of the penis being there. This is why boys and men generally have fewer UTI than females

OP I’m not quite sure what you mean? Does he wee on the potty/toilet but dribbles a bit in his pants first? Is he going to the potty by himself?
Or is he just weeing in his pants and not making it to the potty at all?

If it’s a dribble then that’s completely normal for his age. I work in a nursery and most of the boys (and lots of girls) will have a wet spot on their pants.

To be honest if he’s telling you he needs to go and he’s doing a wee on the potty then he’s doing great. Ignore any little wet spots, he will gain more control as he gets older.

@MissyB1 thanks for your comment. Yes he tells me when he needs the toilet but more often that not he'll have a wet patch in his pants when we get there. It's not a full accident but enough to wet his pants and the inside of his jeans.

It doesn't soak his jeans enough for me to know exactly when it happens.

I don't know of anyone else having this issue with their toddler which is why I posted.

I am trying to encourage him to go to the toilet by himself but he struggles to get the pee in the right direction, and blocked the toilet with half a roll of toilet roll last week, so it's still a work in progress!!

You are doing fine. He’s out of nappies that’s the main thing. He will grow out of the dribbling I promise.

Hi @frazzled101 and @Birdybirdbirdy how did this resolve itself for you? Having a similar issue with my 3yo and getting through a lot of clothes!

@mablemaybe it did resolve itself during the day but he's still not dry at night. He's just turned 6.

Thanks for coming back to reply @frazzled101

Did it just stop on its own? Did you do anything to help? I feel like 5 mins after we change his pants, the big wet circle appears again.

Ours resolved itself too. I’ll admit I was a bit blunt with him after a while! Once it became apparent that it was just because he was holding it in for ages, until he couldn’t help having a little leak in his rush to get to the toilet, I pointed out that it was making his clothes very smelly and that it would also make him really sore. I made him get fully changed when he got home and take his clothes to the washing machine. This was clearly quite boring when all he wanted to do was go straight to a snack and play. I don’t know if that approach would work for all children though, but as his was just laziness (he admitted it) and so it worked. No issues now and he is dry at night too. Good luck!!

Yes it eventually just stopped but it was many months. (Sorry)