Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Flip

Original poster

3 years and 4 month old. Stubborn or not ready? Very stressed mum!

15 replies

SnowWhite26 · 05/01/2022 08:11

Hi.
I was wondering if anyone can reassure me. My little boy is 3 year 4 months. He is an August baby and going to school in September. I think hes quite a young 3 year old if you get me. We have been trying to potty train him for a year. He just can't or won't get it. He has never wee or pooed on potty or toliet. He will sit on potty. We did sit on it every nappy change but he got bored. We have tried a week of pants recently and he just wet himself. He did tell me of he needed a nappy change now nothing. It is now a massive battle to even get him to change his nappy. He is going to school in 9 months.
I dunno what to do. I have taken all the health visitors advice.
I am very stressed over it as my older daughter had issues as well she wanted to train but had poo holding issues for 2 years!
Any kind advice ? Xx thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 05/01/2022 08:15

I add he is very stubborn and wont have no trousers on. He will wear pants but insists on trousers. Very rarely will he run around with nothing on.

OP posts:

liveforsummer · 05/01/2022 08:25

Have you tried bribes? I used Milky Way magic stars for both dc. Worked a treat

Eileen101 · 05/01/2022 08:27

Will he sit on the potty while he watches TV? Then reward potty usage? I second pp above - buttons worked for us!

Eileen101 · 05/01/2022 08:28

P.s. does he go to nursery? Ours were very enthusiastic about it for us and did all sorts of potty games etc.

JuneOsborne · 05/01/2022 08:39

Start with the steps that happen before sitting in the potty. So, he's done a poo in his nappy. Get him to take his trousers off. Get his nappy change gear ready.

Get a baby doll. Put a nappy on the doll. Talk about the fact that the doll is a baby and babies wear nappies. (Don't say he's not a baby just yet, let the idea seep in).

Before you leave the house, make a fuss of going to the loo.

Ditch the potty for the time being, but come at it from a different angle!

Can he get his trousers back on?

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 05/01/2022 08:54

He currently goes into the bathroom he wont let anyone but himself take his nappy and trousers off so thats ok. He just messes around and won't do it alot more recently and when you need to go somewhere its very frustrating as he will slowly do it on mess about and if u do it he will lose the plot majorly. No bribes work. Tried stickers,sweets,marbles,toys , watching tv etc. Hes fine reading books about it and knows about babies in nappies. He just isn't interested.

OP posts:

Annon12345 · 05/01/2022 08:58

I'm having same issue. Ds is 4 in a couple of months. Starts school September this year and we have made no progress. He is currently waiting a sen assessment and has s speech delay but I really think the potty training is actually him being lazy. If we take nappy off he holds it in and waits for you to put a nappy on, if we put him on loo or potty he very very rarely goes, we've give him loads of praise blowing bubble. You name it we've tried it!

Skyeheather · 05/01/2022 09:04

Does he go to Nursery or playgroup? Mine son wasn't interested until he went to nursery at the same age and saw all the other children using the toilet then he wanted to do it too. Also the nursery were very keen to help, they told me to give them a big bag of pants and trousers, drop him off with no pull up on and they would do the rest. They sent him to the toilet every 10 minutes for the first week plus he followed his friends when they went. Nursery were a very big help.

ISaidDontLickTheBin · 05/01/2022 09:05

My DS1 has only just got dry at 3 y 10 months. Also starting school in Sept and we're still having trouble with poos so I feel your pain!

DS has quite significant speech and language difficulties so we were advised not to get hung up on him telling us he needs to go, but to train him to go on a schedule.

A few things that have been going well for us:

We skipped the potty and went straight to the toilet with a step and seat insert

To get the first wee in the toilet we tanked DS up with loads of drink then sat him on the loo with books, TV etc and stayed there with them until a wee came out. Then made sure DS was aware of the weeing and made a massive fuss with chocolate buttons etc. Rinse and repeat until he had the awareness to go on command.

Bribes - chocolate buttons in our case. Also TV programmes on the laptop while sitting and trying for a poo.

All changes sat on the loo. We used nappy pants/pull ups and had DS pull them down like pants before sitting on the loo even if already wet/dirty. Then he had to pull up the fresh pair like pants and puill his trousers up.

We used a kitchen timer and took DC to the loo every time it beeped gradually increased the time interval between toilet trips using it.

Gina Ford's book about toilet training isn't bad if you ignore the rubbish about it only taking a week. Oh Crap! was an utter disaster for us.

Curiousmouse · 05/01/2022 09:22

Would he go in with his dad and copy him?

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 05/01/2022 09:26

We have tried but point blank refuses to stand or sit on toliet. Maybe i could try sitting him on toliet or potty after a big drink with the tablet. Is that bad habits from the start though?

OP posts:

workingtheusername · 05/01/2022 11:24

Either not aware or doesn't care! Does he notice when starting to wee or seem a bit shifty before a wee. ? The main thing is don't make it an issue. Definitely try some rewards if he is ready they should work but if not working I'd leave it and come back to it later. Sometimes I think it's our worries that are the issue not to mention school looming. My dd was just under 2 my ds was 5 (also autistic so not sure if delay was sensory or a neuro issue.)

jannier · 05/01/2022 16:02

September is 9 months away, think what he has learned since Easter last year.....dont panic.
Unfortunately a year of potty training to z child is like you being stuck on a pile of ironing every day for 5 years. It's no longer interesting stops play and what's the point there are nappies.
When you started was he showing signs or did you just start? As its been so long he may now no longer be showing them if he was. Test he's dry for over an hour by putting tissue in his nappy if he dosent stay dry he's not ready.
Id give it a rest for a few weeks....chance to calm down diestress etc for both of you. Then stop buying nappies only pj pants ideally when you have a week of not going anywhere. Tell him nappies have gone and he needs pants and trousers then ride out the mess and tantrums. Involve him in removing wet stuff, bagging it ( not washing machine too much fun) wiping himself and redressing. (You finish wiping after he tries) ignore any temper you can walk away from bathroom if you cant but he needs to take stuff off. Point out using toilet is quicker than changing himself so remember to come and try. When he tries loads of praise when he succeeds up the praise singing dancing being silly so it's super fun.

jannier · 05/01/2022 16:05

Have you sat him on toilet with lid down and dressed so he gets used to height etc....does the flush upset him if he hears you do it....and does he go in with you and dad to see what happens? I've had children who were terrified screaming and shaking had to build up from a literal on and off lid shut over a few days.

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 05/01/2022 18:36

He started showing signs. He told us about poos etc but got confused about what was what. He now doesn't tell me at all. Maybe ill get a new toilet seat and get him to sit on it with his tablet after a big drink? I think he needs to no what the wee feeling is?

OP posts:

Flip