Daughter won't poo in potty

[delicatesledgehammer]

Hi parents!

I desperately need some advice! We started potty training DD, age almost 3, about 2 weeks ago, and everything is going great in terms of wee's. It was all accidents the first few days, but she quickly learned to control her bladder, and now does all wee's in the potty or toilet, no accidents at all, and even dry at night. Amazing right! Unfortunately it's not going so well with poo's, she will only do them in her knickers! We have scoured the internet for advice, and see that this is common, but none of techniques we read about are working. We tried praise, encouragement, offering rewards, offering a nappy, getting her to sit in the potty for a while and read a book or watch the iPad. Nothing works! At first she was taking the offer of a nappy, doing her poo, and then we'd take it off again, but even that isn't happening now, she just denies she needs a poo, and still ends up doing it in her knickers. We don't know what else to do. If anyone has been through this and can offer any tips or advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

We had this when my daughter potty trained. Dry day and night but petrified to poop in the potty or toilet. Our dr recommended something (I've forgotten the medicine name) to loosen her stools for a few days and then in the night she woke up and needing a poop and couldn't hold it in once she was on the toilet. Once she had done that initial poop she was fine!
We bought the stuff from the shelf at Asda, I'm sure it was in a brown glass bottle with a flower on the label.

DC was like this.
We just persevered with rewards for doing it on the potty, it worked but it took months rather than a couple of weeks!

Dd was scared of this too. I just did a gradual approach. Sit on potty wearing pull up a few times, then with one side torn open, then 2 sides. Laid flat on it. Pull up a bit away from her down loo (then fished out) Then without it

I am in a similar situation with my son (almost 3). Feels like I've been potty training for a few months now and we still haven't cracked it.
I've put a lot down to a house and nursery move as to why he may be unsettled however he is just not managing the poop. He literally hides in the corner and goes in his pants.
Really don't know what else to do other than persevere? I have tried all of the things you mention in your op.

No advice but this is literally my life currently. Son is 2 and a half and has nailed wee for about 6 weeks but will he poo in the potty or toilet? Will he bollocks. The past couple of days we have started to get to the point where he will say ‘mummy poo!’ but he gives exactly 0.001 second notice and we’ve never made the potty! We currently have rewards on the go and he helps ‘clean up’ accidents. He talks constantly about ‘poo in potty!’ But it’s still not nailed! Hoping perseverance gets us there soon!

@whatsyourusername

We had this when my daughter potty trained. Dry day and night but petrified to poop in the potty or toilet. Our dr recommended something (I've forgotten the medicine name) to loosen her stools for a few days and then in the night she woke up and needing a poop and couldn't hold it in once she was on the toilet. Once she had done that initial poop she was fine! We bought the stuff from the shelf at Asda, I'm sure it was in a brown glass bottle with a flower on the label.

Thanks for the suggestion. I don't think that dd is constipated though, she's going regularly in her knickers. Doesn't the stool softener make things awfully messy if they do go in their pants? Willing to try anything though!

Our daughter wasn't constipated either, our GP friend suggested it to help her go, so when she did need to go she couldn't hold it in. We quickly got her on the toilet. After that she got her reward and got over the fear of pooing into the loo. Apparently lots of children have this fear and once they have done it once realise it isn't that bad.
We only gave a very small amount and not full dosage. I'm sure it was a natural remedy type liquid/syrup.

It was syrup of fig we used. You can get it in boots or even Amazon. It's just used to help regularity. I guess for us it just stopped her being able to hold it in whilst on the potty.

My daughter was toilet ‘wee’ trained at 18 months but would NOT do a poo on the toilet. Instead she kept soiling her pull up nappy’s. We always knew when she wanted to do it and put her on the toilet but she wouldn’t and shortly after she would do it in her pull up pants. One day I proper lost the plot in the next bedroom and shouted at my hubby saying how upset and annoyed I was that she knew what she was doing etc etc (daughter was on the landing trying to poo in her pull up pants as we could hear it) and the next thing we knew she had taken herself to the toilet and did it on the toilet.
Now I’m not advocating you start yelling at your hubby like I did but it clearly did the trick in our situation and we never looked back after that lol! 🙈🙈🙈🤣🤣🤣

Had this with youngest dd, it went on for months, nothing worked until one day she just went in the potty and that was that.

Poo goes to Pooland worked really well for my son. It replaced Crime and Punishment as my favourite book of all time. I think there’s an app now.

@delicatesledgehammer both my dd’s were like this.

I used to tell them if they did a poo in the potty the fairy would come and change the colour of it.

Get them to pick the colour they would like, get them very excited about it, when they poo in the potty (if in pants put the poo in the potty with them watching), they turn around while you say the magic fairy words (while you add a bit of water and food colouring) abd hey presto!!! Poo is pink/green/blue etc. Explain this will only work once if they did it in their pants, next time it has to be in the potty....

2 weeks is really short time. Keep persevering.

I second the suggestion of reading “Poo goes to Pooland”. It worked for both my two when they were younger.

Hi,

I had the same problem with my DC too.

There is an App called Poo Goes to Pooland, which my DC really liked.

I also tried laxatives, which worked but do keep an eye on your DC and take her straight to the toilet as soon as you feel she needs to go.

Hold her hand and give her lots of encouragement while she is on the toilet and put a small treat in front of her. Tell her she can have it if she poos in the toilet.

Eventually she will get the hang of it.

Have you tried keeping with pantless or without knickers while you are at home?

My DD did the same when she wore knickers ,then i decided to keep her bottom half ‘free’ so she could recognise there was nothing to catch her poo. She eventually started going to the toilet when the urge to poo came!

Typo Keeping her pantless*

Also used a child seat over the loo so she felt more secure.

Thanks for all the advice, it's actually been so helpful! We downloaded send poo back to Pooland a couple of days ago, and have been reading it a lot. We've kept her naked from the waist while home today, and I was just looking up syrup of fig only, when low and behold, she just poo'd in the potty! Massive reward time now! I know this doesn't necessarily mean that the problem is solved, but definitely a big step 😊. Thanks again for all your comments!

Totally common. Keep going

There's an app cal Poo Goest
To Pooland which worked quite well for us

I was just this second coming on to look for the same help.
DD had just turned 3 and was fully potty trained before she joined nursery but she sadly regressed and had to start again.

She is now back to peeing in the potty but she refused point blank to do poo’s in the potty or toilet and only in the potty.

We have tried the advice on the internet but she just doesn’t want to do it so hopefully this advice above will help us on the poo journey 🤣

The ERIC website is a continance charity it has useful advice on lots of potty training issues including pooh holding

We went through this. We allowed her to watch tv on the potty, and use the iPad on the toilet. She's 4.5 now and still needs to be holding something like a book or iPad on the toilet for a poo to distract her from what's happening because it freaks her out.
I'm hoping she'll grow out of that in time. She hasn't soiled herself for a year now.

Mine wouldn’t ever poo in a potty. Eventually I worked out that it was just - for us- as using the toilet instead. They used to come in the bathroom with me when I needed to go, so they knew that’s everyone did, I didn’t use a potty so they didn’t want to either.

As simple, that should be

We are in the same situation, apparently it's very common. DS wees in a potty or toilet but will ask for a nappy for a poo: we always offer him otherwise, and try to bribe but I'm loathe to stand too firm because I'd rather he pooed happily rather than start to hold it and cause complications. It'll click eventually, I'm sure