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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

3yo 5 accidents a day after MONTHS

13 replies

CACO13 · 02/11/2021 19:24

Need your wisdom to keep me from going CRAZY!

We’ve been toilet training our now 3yo, extremely strong willed daughter for 4 months now (after a failed attempted back in April last year). She’s out of nappies (except at night) and is successful at staying dry as long as we’re taking her to the toilet every hour, but still won’t tell us when she has to go resulting in an average of 5 accidents a day. It’s so embarrassing for us as all her friends have had this cracked for 6-12 months and it’s preventing her from being able to stay at her nursery full time. We’ve tried all the Oh Crap type strategies and it’s just not for her.

Would love to hear from those of you that have had similar experiences, with any thoughts on strategies or words of encouragement in how long it took to finally click with your kid.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thehairyhog · 02/11/2021 19:28

Most children train naturally between 3 & 4. Stop putting so much pressure on it, and worrying about her peers, she's clearly not ready. Put her in pull ups and ease off for a while.

Shuffleuplove · 02/11/2021 19:29

She will do it when she does it. Put her back in nappies.

SnugKnights · 02/11/2021 19:29

I agree I’d put her in pull ups and keep taking her regularly. Why is it causing problems with nursery? They should be supportive of a 3 year old who isn’t trained yet.

Sirzy · 02/11/2021 19:30

She isn’t ready yet. Take the pressure off you all and go back to nappies or pull ups for now and try again in a few months

MsPavlichenko · 02/11/2021 19:30

Why are you embarrassed?

Fallagain · 02/11/2021 19:32

I have no fucking idea. My strong willing 2 year old is a bit like this but asks at nursery to use the toilet. We potty trained at her instigation. I might try going back to bare bummed at home.

SinoohXaenaHide · 02/11/2021 19:36

She isn't ready yet, and it is illegal for a nursery to restrict their services to only fully toilet trained kids because that is direct discrimination again people with disabilities (likelihood is that your child isn't actually disabled in any way just isn't ready yet but the same principle applies).

It's not an "accident" at that kind of frequency. That's not what "accident" means. She will be ready when she's ready. Put her back in pullups and try again in 6 months.

SnugKnights · 02/11/2021 19:36

Bare bum at home again and potty right next to where she was playing helped my strong willed 2 year old.

Mojoj · 02/11/2021 19:40

She's not ready. And I tried not to use pull ups. If they wet themselves, they should feel the wet pants against them.

User48751490 · 04/01/2022 13:42

My 6yo took around 18 months to toilet train. It went on for an age, he was close to 4yo when we attempted it. Just didn't show any signs of readiness before then. Finally mastered properly wiping his bum when at school just before turning 6.

Arethechildreninbedyet · 04/01/2022 13:47

OP I get it.

I was like that with my eldest, absolutely DESPERATE for them to keep up, everyone else could do it, why couldn't they?

We had tears, tantrums (and that was just from me)

One day I thought oh fuck it and popped them back in a pull up... three months later they proclaimed they wanted to wear pants and didn't want nappies any more and apart from a handful of accidents the first few week they were dry.

My youngest was a little older and we cracked it in a fortnight. It's often not a wilful thing - she cannot understand the cues yet, she's not ready. Take her to the shops, get her some pull up trainers and get the potty back out, stick it in the lounge and take all pressure off. It's there if she wants to go the nappy will work when she doesn't.

The worst thing to do is to make it a big deal. Toilet anxiety is a terrible habit to break.

Arethechildreninbedyet · 04/01/2022 13:49

Think of it this way, you're not potty training her.

She's weeing, getting wet and you're having to change her outfit whilst probably chastising her for it. What's that helping?

Send her to nursery in pull ups, job done.

jannier · 04/01/2022 14:58

No need to be embarrassed children develop at their own pace. Your anxiety will only make it worse most children are not dry as early as your friends by the way and many will be nearer to 4.
Id remove the stress use pull ups and have a break try again in a month or so.
Oh crap isn't for most children it puts lots if pressure on everyone and her time approach is at odds with all developmental studies....she was a mum who wrote a book and had to find a usp its the only area of child development where people try to force children to do something they are not physically ready for.

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