Never seems ready

[dorris88]

My DD will be 3 next month and this weekend she told me she wanted to stop using nappies and wanted a little toilet.

Went out and bought it she loved sitting on it but when she needed a wee got all panicked and asked for her nappy on. I tried to encourage her to not panic and to sit on the toilet and let it come out and she got more upset so I put one on her.

Is that a clear sign to pack up and try again in a few months time?

I've tried twice before. The last time she managed 3 days then didn't like her child minders toddler seat on the toilet and then wet herself all the time since so I think her toddler seat has scared her. I'm gutted I thought she'd have forgotten.

Any advice?

I think my question was at what point to you become slightly more persistent.

I've always read about not putting pressure on but my mum (typically) thinks unless I put some pressure on she will never want to but I mean that's unlikely lol

Have you got a reward system in place if she uses the potty/toilet? The promise of a candy or sticker after they do a wee can really focus their minds! I've also seen that if you put blue food colouring in the toilet, when they wee on it, it turns green - could you try that and dress it up as a fun science experiment to get her to try it? I went straight to knickers with mine and the feeling of being wet made her want to sit on the potty and got her to understand what's happening. Sometimes kids just take longer to potty train, it's really important not to force it on her otherwise it'll end up being a miserable experience for you both.

Are you using a toilet insert or a potty?
If she knows when she needs a wee then she is 'ready' physically.

Books (Little Princess series has one)?
Sit on potty when watching TV or before bath with no pressure to 'perform'?
Rewards?

@dorris88

I think my question was at what point to you become slightly more persistent.

I've always read about not putting pressure on but my mum (typically) thinks unless I put some pressure on she will never want to but I mean that's unlikely lol

Crossed posts! You could try talking about going to the toilet with her, getting books, watching videos, letting her pick her knickers and getting her to come with you to the toilet so she can see you do it too. When 'the day' comes, explain that she has to say goodbye to the nappies because she's going to use the potty like a big girl now. You can even get her to put them in the bin and say goodbye. Explain what you want her to do and ask if there is a toy or book she would like whilst she's sitting on the potty or toilet. If she refuses to sit down or stay on very long, just say 'OK, but in 15 minutes we will try again' and move on. Eventually she'll get there and the first time she does a wee in the potty and you praise her, she will be so happy that she'll likely be more interested in sitting on it without complaint.

Take her to buy some knickers. Primark have some lovely character ones at the moment. It might make a difference if it means she gets to wear big girl pants.

@girlmom21 yeah that's a cute idea I might try that:

So so far today I tried to keep the nappies off and she got sad - and then did a wee in her nappy. Then she ran into my and said she needs a poo (she likes me to watch her poo don't ask why 😂) and I said - what about the potty? She got excited and said yeah. Sat on it and it didn't come out she was squeezing too.

Then asks for her nappy back on 5 mins later she pooed.

Feel like she's scared 🥺.

We have a stool in both toilets for the sink, and a few months ago she moved it to the toilet and decided to try sit on it and fell in. I think it's scarred her

So this is going to sound extremely mean, but I think you have to get her over that hurdle of being scared of releasing the poo & pee by not giving her the option of a nappy. I would do anything, up to and including holding her onto the potty to get her to do the first wee & poo there. We did this with my son who had a fear of peeing and it worked well.