Help! I'm petrified about potty training my 2 tear old with a baby to look after too h

[Reabamum]

My little girl is 27 months and ready to potty train. However, I also have a 7 month old baby. How on earth do I potty train her when I have him to look after too? I am petrified Our routine is to go out in the morning to the park/play centre/stay and play. Then we come home and she has a nap. We are at home for the rest of the day.

I am mostly worried about how I cope when we are out and about. What do I do when she needs to wee or poop and we are at the park for example? Even if I bring a portable potty, it just sounds so hard, particularly in the winter. Her brother will most likely be sleeping in the sling and I'm going to have to try and wrestle her waterproof clothing off etc, get the potty out, put her on it, clean her, dress her and clean up. Just sounds like a complete nightmare! And if she wets herself I'm going to have to get her changed, all with a baby in the sling. Also, what do you do if your child suddenly needs a wee and you are in the middle of breastfeeding the baby? Or you are on your way somewhere on the bus or in the middle of town? It's a half hour walk to our nearest park. Do I just stop and get her to do it in the street? And do you take your toddler to public toilets? They are so dirty. Am I overthinking it? Is it actually not that hard? Thank you!

Put the baby in a buggy with all the potty training stuff in the basket underneath… then run and bear it!

*grin

@Reabamum I felt similar fears to you (and did a lot of googling!) before I started potty training recently. DS has down really well and it's now a lot easier. I followed the Oh Crap method mainly so stayed home named bottom half for 2/3 days and then we did very short trips out round the block. I'd say after 5 days we went to my mum's, a short journey in the car.
We have a pottette plus travel potty which is amazing and we've used so much. We take it everywhere at the moment. If we are at the park, we just find a discrete spot and use it. I don't have another child (just yet although due soon!) so is easier for me. I will be getting waterproof trousers not an all in one for quicker access this autumn! Offer the potty before you leave everytime. I'd say it took him 3 weeks until it clicked and he coul hold it for loner periods. We've just done a 3 hour car journey (with stops) and no accidents. Good luck!

That’s pretty much it, as @VerveClique says. OR you leave it till next summer and get it done nice and quick in nice weather and easier clothes.

I am firmly of the view that a newly potty trained child is waaaaaay more trouble than one in nappies, so I’d leave it if I were you.

(The ‘children these days are potty trained too late, in my day they were whipping off their own terry towelling nappies at 17 months’ brigade may shout at me about this).

She’s very young still. What makes you think she’s ready to train?

I would leave it until the last minute if I were you. She’ll be able to hold it while you find a toilet, no need to carry a potty, and she’ll have the control to pee before you go out so you know she’ll make the walk to the park.

You have a baby. Make it easy on yourself.

My son was 2yr 9 months when he was potty trained, I also had a 3 month old. I didn't bother with portable equipment just lots of spare clothes for when accidents happened. Ideally thick clothes which will help soak up some of the wetness which is fine in autumn/winter. I was quite lucky that he only ever wet himself, when he needed a poo he was able to tell me. There was only 1 occasion when we're were out and nowhere near a toilet. I took him to do it behind a Bush and put it in a nappy bag and binned it afterwards. I think as long as your outside in a park etc accidents are fine, just avoid soft play until your confident shes fully potty trained.

Mine potty trained at home first (so still wore pull ups for outings and nursery). Then potty trained at nursery as well. Then we started risking longer visits. I did sit them on public toilets when I needed to, and always made sure to have spare clothes. If you're worried about the sling drama, take a buggy too. I always felt much happier having a buggy because there's a place to put all the things and to put baby if you need to be a bit more mobile (eg. Wrestling a pre schooler out of damp clothes). The last place we got rid of them was on long journeys, for obvious reasons!

Put the sling baby on the back if you are struggling with a toddler. Breastfeeding the baby, you choose - either take the baby off and deal with the toddler, continue feeding the baby and deal with the toddler (sling can help if you use if for breastfeeding) or continue feeding the baby and help the toddler afterward.

Don’t put her in layers and layers or waterproof clothing. Nice thick leggings or joggers. Leg warmers under if necessary. Have spares with you. Including socks. Wellies will wipe. Leg warmers and dresses or long t shirts for at home.

Remember many toddlers are unconcerned by accidents, sometimes that’s part of the problem. But really sometimes eg at the park they can be pottering around for ages and it’s not till you pick them up, spot a telltale patch etc that you realise they’ve had an accident. Once you realise it’s possibly less urgent a problem than you might be imagining. Remove bottom half clothing, a wipe and replace with fresh. Bath every night.

Training pants also available, will contain small accidents but look like pants. Pad for the car seat.

Take to toilet at predictable times. Eg always after eating, always last thing before leaving the house, straight away on arriving home, just before bed.

Buses, they just have to wait or you get off and find a bush, no way round that one, if you are especially worried you can take the pad from the car seat for her to sit on (same if relatives houses/sitting on sofas etc if you are worried). Reduce risk by going immediately before and after bus. Centre of town, much easier than random suburb as there are toilets in towns. Download the find a toilet app and always have a 20p piece with you. Many places are more sympathetic to a toddler than an adult, rightly or wrongly. I’ve been refused many times for my toddlers but I’ve also been accommodated.

Learn how to hold her up for a wild wee. There is a technique. Turn her away from you and reach around to lift her knees in a seated position, then angle her away from you. Keeps everyone clean and dry.

We did it at home and wore diapers when out.

Take the clothes off!! (Dresses are great for that phase)

IMO I would leave it a few more months.

DS was showing all the ready signs. We tried it and it took a few weeks. I fell ill, it all went to pot.

Let it until he was 3 and he cracked it in under 48 hours.

You use a pushchair and you put the potty underneath it and bring a bag of spare clothes! I had exactly the same age gap and DS 1 amazed me by being brilliant at about 27 months too. Maybe do a day or two pretty much at home so he gets the general idea, and then once you venture out, insist on going to toilets at every opportunity so hopefully DC1 won't get caught short. Having the buggy also means you have somewhere safe to put the baby if you suddenly need to grab the potty .

Wait until the spring.

I followed @Rainallnight advice and with DS left it until he was a little over 3. As a result his potty training only took a few days. He could hold on a little bit and understood he should try for a wee before leaving the house. We've never needed to take a potty out and about and in the house he preferred to go straight to the toilet (using a training seat and a stool). My only real goal was that he be toilet trained before starting nursery, which he was.

There will always those that will pass comment/judgement, but who cares? I did what suited us, and made our lives easier. I couldn't tell you how old my older children were when they potty trained because that's how insignificant it all becomes in hindsight, I just can't recall.

I'd leave it. Potty training is annoying if you want to do anything but be in your house. Especially now as so many public loos have been covid-clamped. My Ds has just turned 2 and I'll be waiting until next summer.

Just wait till she asks which she will but more likely be 3-3.5 years old and will be fine from start as older and actually ready to go into pants rather than you trying to train her.

Save yourself any hassle and stress.

Thank you all so much. Maybe I will wait a little while until she is more willing to follow verbal instructions and her little brother is in the sling less. It just feels like something I ought to have done already. I suppose it doesn't matter though as long as she is happy. X

Why are you saying that you ought to have done it already? She's very young. Mine were 3.5 and 4 when they wanted to wear pants and it was super easy by then as they'd been in pull ups for ages.

Wait definitely. The later you leave it (generally) the quicker the transition (when you are constantly dealing with accidents and wet clothes) will be.

Also it's so much easier when the weather is better.

Thank you all so much. I hadn't realised that many people wait longer. I thought I was late already. I will not bother until things are a bit easier :)

My daughter was 3 and 2 months in the Easter holidays we'd cracked sit day and night during the 2 weeks

Leave it until the spring

My daughter showed readiness at 27 months and after the first hour never had an accident. You know your daughter and if you see her ready give it a try. I had an active younger baby too at the time so I wasn’t keen to start but tbh it would have been harder if the little one had been walking at the time.

There's no harm in waiting but I'll just tell you my experience. I also was really worried about how it would go and dc2.5 wasn't really showing any signs. I also had a 9 month old at the time. Anyway I decided to try, and it was totally fine, turns out I was way overthinking it. Dc picked it up straight away, there were a few accidents but not many. Like you I couldn't be bothered to stay at home, so I didnt, just went about our business. At first I put a nappy on if we were going somewhere I absolutely didn't want an accident, eg, on this bus. Somewhere like the park it doesn't matter so much. We rarely needed to use public toilets and definitely didn't need a travel potty, he just sat on the toilet seat if needed. It was fine and looking back there was no need to worry so much.

We tried at 26 months before DD was born. Loads of accidents and he was upset so we stopped. When he was just 3 when he came home from nursery and said he wanted big boy pants. He had one accident. Just got it straight away. So there’s definitely no rush if you don’t want to.

I potty trained my son over winter (when he was ready) and I had a 9 month old.

We stayed it until I was confident he knew what to do. There was LOTS of CBeebies and coco melon involved.

The baby went off to play by herself a lot and I had the potty in the kitchen so I didn't have to leave her to take him to the loo.

First few trips out were with daddy so he could do potty / baby while I did the other.

We changed clothes around so they were easier to access for potty time.

Going out wees before leaving and making sure we weren't out for too long before he totally got it.

Waiting until he was ready meant it didn't take that long. All this happened over the space of a couple of weeks.

I'd leave it for now. Or wait until you've got a week mostly in the house (I have done potty training at xmas before).
My first was trained a little before he was 3, my second took 3 attempts and we didn't manage it until he was 3.5 and it took 6 weeks to get close to dry (it's turns out he has issues with interception so I really should have just waited longer). My third we tried and failed but it was easy and quick when he got to 3.5yrs. I wish I had not bothered trying earlier. When they are ready it really shouldn't take that long. I'd wait until next summer in your position.