Potty regression in 3yo boy

[BirdDad]

Hi all, I’m new to the board.
We have a son turning 3yo soon. We introduced him to a BabyBjorn potty a year ago, but didn’t seriously start training until May due to a cross country move. Once we started, he picked it up immediately and seemed fully trained within a week or 2, both poop and pee.

After a month and a half, he started having pee accidents. It felt like he was so focused on playing that he would forget to use the potty or tell us, maybe fear of missing out. If we prompted him he would refuse. Sometimes he would tell us he had to go and then immediately say no and refuse. It was a difficult balance of trying to capture the moment without turning he potty into a bad experience.

The pee accidents have become very frequent, but he still used the potty to poop…until this week. Now he has had multiple poop accidents and doesn’t say anything until afterwards. There have been no major life changes recently, which is what all the regression info points to (with one exception below).

We have tried prompting, going pantless again, sticker charts, etc. My next idea was to set an alarm on my phone at regular intervals and tell him when he hears the sound it is potty time. So my questions:

1. For the poop issue: his daycare class recently started a new year. Because of his birthday, he is stuck in toddlers and not preschool. He is now the oldest in his class and sees much younger kids in diapers, and not big kids using the potty. Could this be a cause for the poop setback (seeing that other kids can poop in diapers and it is ok for them)? The pee accidents started before this change.

2.) Any advice to get back on track? He was good and now it has fallen completely apart. He is also turning 3 and more independent than when we started.

Thanks in advance!

OK so I admit I'm not expert but I have got 2 boys who are now 8 and 5 so a bit of experience.

First thing is if he isn't 3 yet then he is still very young. Even past 3, at 3.5 it can still be normal for kids not to be dry.

I went through the same thing you described with my oldest. He had an idea of what to do, could do it some of the time just like yours but couldn't do it all the time. Some understanding but not a full understanding. Just not ready.

You could try all the things you want, alarm, reminders, rewards might work, might not. It didn't for me with my first and I didn't bother with my second, just kept him in nappies until he was fully ready and able to do it. Much easier.

How does he feel about wearing a nappy? (not how do you feel, how does he) Have you given it to him as an option? Since he isn't 3 yet I think you should and start again from the start in the new year when he is older and possibly more able to understand it a bit more.

You can try and try but I think he just can't do it yet.

I don't think at 3 that they really register that others wear nappies in the nursery or not. They might notice it but for sure they don't really remember it all the time and understand it is because they can't use the toilet. What they might understand is adults and parents saying children not wearing nappies are bigger or better (very bad thing to do in my opinion) so that is why they might recall it. But they just can't put all that information together.

I have waffled a little bit but I think you have 2 options

1. Nappies or pull-up nappies
2. Washing machine and patience (but you have to be patient and not scold or get cross at accidents)