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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Daytime wetting at almost 5 years old

17 replies

summerson · 06/09/2021 13:12

So my son was "potty trained" just before 3, he has always, always had a problem with wee, no issues with poop.

But we are knocking on the 5th birthday now and he is still having accidents several times a week.

He doesn't care if he is damp in his pants or fully wet. It doesn't bother him.

The only real time he will always initiate toileting himself is if he is naked. If in shorts it's 50/50 if he will go without prompting or not.

I honestly feel like I've tried everything and scoured the ERIC website.

Does anyone else have any other magic tricks? He just had a full on wee accident at school today

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Mattieandmummy · 07/09/2021 06:09

Might be worth a quick chat with your GP just to rule out any issues. I'm not saying there are btw but my nephew had problems holding his wee and he did have a medical issue but it was very easily sorted so just thought I would mention it

Original poster

summerson · 08/09/2021 10:19

Thank you for replying. I'm at the point where I could just cry because I just have NO IDEA what to do?

Since he has never "really" aced the daytime wetting I feel like this may be an issue. But also, I just can't see what issue he could have? There's no bladder / urethra infection that's been about for 1.5-2 years unknown surely.

Anyway, you're probably right. Nothing to lose anyway! 😭

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TobiTurvi · 10/09/2021 07:31

Perhaps this makes me lazy. But if he were having multiple wee accidents per week--I'd be inclined to pop him back into nappies. Not as a punishment, but simply as a logical consequence.

I'd be completely honest with him. If he's not having any issues with going poop, tell him he's welcome to come get someone whenever he feels like he may need to go. But otherwise, for weeyou're not going to prompt him for now, he has a nappy onand he can come and get you to let you know when he's ready to go on the toilet.

Take the stress off you both. He'll get there with time.

Indecisivelurcher · 10/09/2021 07:34

My nephew was like this, Eric were helpful, have you spoken to them? She also got some pads to put in his pants which at least helped with practicalities. And saved his shoes.

DefineHappy · 10/09/2021 07:49

Just in response to your comment about being clothed vs not….. Have you tried different types of underwear (briefs vs boxers)? The sensation of needing to go feels different depending on how snug the fit is. Boxers worked with my DC as he recognised the signal better. It is also slightly easier to pull up and down, which was also a factor.

drspouse · 10/09/2021 07:51

Even if he doesn't have obvious poo problems, it can be related. Definitely go to the GP.

Original poster

summerson · 12/09/2021 10:12

@Indecisivelurcher

My nephew was like this, Eric were helpful, have you spoken to them? She also got some pads to put in his pants which at least helped with practicalities. And saved his shoes.

Thank you so much for your reply. I haven't actually contacted them, no. But I will do.

OP posts:

Original poster

summerson · 12/09/2021 10:15

@DefineHappy

No i haven't tried boxers but that's a good call.

We have tried (and changed to) very very loose pants since the tighter pants were giving more accidents ... I think??????? Second guessing myself constantly with this!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

summerson · 12/09/2021 10:17

@drspouse

Even if he doesn't have obvious poo problems, it can be related. Definitely go to the GP.

Thank you for your reply. I'm busy keeping a 1 week log of all accidents then will take that along to the GP and hope for a helpful response.

OP posts:

mogkat · 12/09/2021 11:47

My son is 4 and the same. He still has so many accidents. Not full on wetting himself but where his pants and trousers are damp and he doesn't seem to notice/care.
I think he waits until the last minute where he is bursting and that's why he then leaks a bit.
I've been trying to remind him to go at regularly intervals but he's so stubborn he will shout and get annoyed and won't do because I've asked him to.
Sorry I don't have any practical advise but just to say you're not alone on dealing with a boy with this issue!
I think it's a combination of being lazy/too engrossed in something, waiting till the last minute and also stubbornness of wanting to go on 'his terms' rather than me telling him to go. We've tried rewards charts etc and it all seem fruitless. Just hoping it'll resolve with more time!

Original poster

summerson · 12/09/2021 18:25

@mogkat

My son is 4 and the same. He still has so many accidents. Not full on wetting himself but where his pants and trousers are damp and he doesn't seem to notice/care. I think he waits until the last minute where he is bursting and that's why he then leaks a bit. I've been trying to remind him to go at regularly intervals but he's so stubborn he will shout and get annoyed and won't do because I've asked him to. Sorry I don't have any practical advise but just to say you're not alone on dealing with a boy with this issue! I think it's a combination of being lazy/too engrossed in something, waiting till the last minute and also stubbornness of wanting to go on 'his terms' rather than me telling him to go. We've tried rewards charts etc and it all seem fruitless. Just hoping it'll resolve with more time!

I feel your pain.

We have tried:
Prompting
Toilet schedule
No prompting
Naked
No undies
Undies
Stickers
Tokens for rewards
Sing and dance and praise
Cleaning up his own mess
Bladder training as per ERIC (big glasses of water at a time rather than lots of small sips all day long)
Discipline and disappointment
Punishment (removing toys)

Literally everything in the last 2.5 years!!!!!

Today he was accident free although he was naked half the day which always leads to successful toileting.

The only thing we haven't tried is night training and I am considering giving it a go as if he can get to grips with staying dry at night (a la Oh Crap lady) then maybe he can be dry in the day? I feel like other than a wee at 10/11pm, he is dry until early hours of the morning when he just lazily wees in his nappy. There was a phase when he used to wake up and wee in the toilet (half asleep) during the night which was awesome but that has long stopped. I know he wees upon waking because it always leaks and/or is still wet/warm when I remove it... or he just tells me!

Sorry for the long thinking out aloud post...

Thank you to everyone who has commented or shared advice.

I'm going to contact ERIC at some point, and also see the GP in a week or so once I have my notes together.

OP posts:

mogkat · 12/09/2021 18:37

We also aren't dry at night. I do wonder if that might make a difference too.
I've also tried most of the things you mention there. It is so frustrating as I just don't know why he keeps doing it.
Let us know if you get some answers or success!

Indecisivelurcher · 12/09/2021 20:28

My kids never went for reward charts, but one thing they did go for was I got Dd a playmobil set she really wanted, wrote the badges of all the pieces on slips of paper and put them in a box. She pulled a piece of paper out to see which piece she got. Sometimes it was a good thing like a person, sometimes it was something less good like a mug! Kept her motivated for a very long time because she wanted the main bits to go with it. This was for sleep issues at age 4, not toileting, but was the only reward method that's actually worked for us.

NoKnit · 22/09/2021 21:00

The only method that worked for us was patience and washing machine.

My oldest son got there fully with no more accidents at 7. It was a long slog.

Youngest now 5, never really pressured him like the oldest and much fewer accidents, although he does still have them

Original poster

summerson · 23/09/2021 05:05

@NoKnit

Oh goodness... 2 more years of this?!

After keeping a record of (several) accidents for a week we didn't have any accidents the following week.

So my brain is just like .

Thank you for sharing though because it helps to know that we're not alone or "abnormal"

OP posts:

drspouse · 23/09/2021 10:04

We also have a 7 year old who is just now coming out the other side. Sorry!

goldenochre · 29/09/2021 16:05

Following, how is it going OP?

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