Is something wrong with my daughter?

[ML1706]

So we have been potty training our daughter for a year and a half and she still has accidents all the time.
She turned 3 in May so still quite young, our pre school told us to see a gp but because of her age he dismissed it.
We have done stickers and absorbing pants for small leaks which help.
There are times when she's quite good, even had a whole week without accidents but now she stopped napping and just wets helself all day 😣 she doesn't say anything, before or after, and happily sits in her wet unders.
She is able to go to the potty by herself although we often help her.
Today around 5pm I gave up and put a nappy on her.
I would really like to hear from parents that have experienced something similar.
I read stories on the Eric website and now Im worried something might be wrong with her bladder..

@rubbletrouble she uses the toilet and she usually says something when she feels it starting to leak so usually has spot when she gets to the toilet. If shd does a full pee when playing she doesn't say anything until we notice.

I think you started too early and she wasn't ready, but you know that really. It's irrelevant what you other child, or any child at all did and at what age, it's your daughter we are talking about and she wasn't ready.

Anyway, you are where you are. I don't think it's the answer to go back to nappies, you've come too far now and it would be a bit pointless. What I would do is literally treat it like this is potty training day one - so, bottoms off as per 'oh crap' book, sit her on the potty (or toilet, whichever she prefers) every half an hour. Reward pees and poos in whatever way she will respond to, ignore accidents. Just start from the beginning completely and forget the fact that you think she's partially potty trained - she either is or she isn't and she isn't - yet.

I do agree with a PP that some accidents later on can be normal and shouldn't be stigmatised. My 5 year old had a couple of accidents at school last year and the school acted like it was a terrible inconvenience. But he's only 5, it was a really weird first year at school, he never really understood where the toilets were etc and accidents at that age aren't some shocking event. There is nothing wrong with your daughter, she's only 3, to still be having accidents at this age is pretty normal.

Have you tried story books about potty training? I had a couple for my daughter and she thought they were great. It might just get her interested in going again?

Update, today I put my daughter in pull ups as I thought we all needed a break.
I haven't asked her if she needed the toilet however she asked to go 5 times (did 2 poos and 3 pees on the toilet) and the nappy feels dry so I think we're going to do that for a bit, let her decide when she wants to go.
Thanks for all the advice 😊

I would suggest:
Make sure she isn't constipated. Children who have chronic constipation have reduced bladder sensation and control.
Make sure she doesn't have worms as this can cause frequent urination and lack of bladder control. Worms are a very common cause of bedwetting for example.
As pp have said, being able to be without underwear of nappies and within reach of a potty, is helpful and the warm weather is a good time to do it.
Being around another child who is toilet trained is also helpful, but i guess that is difficult in these covid times.
She will get there. I think it is important to give positive attention for using the potty and very little attention for mistakes.
My youngest wouldn't use the potty because everyone else used the toilet, so we went straight to a child seat and a step.

Cross posted OP.
Glad things went well today.

Some kids just don’t get distressed by being wet.

Have you tried bribery?

To add to all the comments, if your little one was showing signs of being ready you did not start too early.

I always found that dropping naps caused accidents for a little bit, our DD always struggled on days she refused to nap but on days she napped she was perfect. But you can't make a child nap who doesn't want to so we just persevered and tried not to stress out her out. I think going bare bottomed is excellent advice, that's what we did and it helped.

For context, our DD started at 26 months, no accidents after a week and she was dry at night within the first two weeks. We never even attempted to potty train at night she just did it by herself so we very nervously took nappies off at night 🤷. Just very lucky I think.

We trained at 19months, I think plenty of kids are capable earlier & really you should ignore all these comments about not being ready it’s a hard skill to learn & she may of been even more of a nightmare if you’d started training later you can’t look back on it with a magic ball so these comments are unhelpful. You are going to have to put in the effort to try and get her dry for a few weeks go back to prompting & a schedule all the time, the correct motivator (aka rewards will work with a schedule once she knows what reward is coming so long as it’s a good one). Ignore the website it’s on the technique for the long way in the videos is suitable for any kid and is very robust, reward systems work if administered correctly & there is a lot of research now which confirm rewards do change children’s behaviours when administered alongside praise. www.actcommunity.ca/education/videos/toilet-training-for-everyone-revised-and-expanded

OP, how tired is your girl, if she's dropped naps. My DD is a similar age and dry, but occasionally has accidents in the evening, on the bathmat in front of the loo whilst waiting to go in the bath etc. if she's particularly tired. There is definitely a link between not being able to keep full control of your bladder and (over)tiredness.