Toddler holding onto wee for hours but won't use the toilet

[dottypencilcase]

Toddler turns three in August and has been having a wee on the toilet on/off for a few months (we bought a toilet seat that attaches onto our existing toilet seat to get prepare him for eventual toilet training) and it’s been brilliant- no bribes or anything, he's enjoyed using it. We officially started toilet training him on Monday this week as he’s been off nursery and we got regular wees and even a poo for two days but all of sudden, he’s crying when taken to the toilet and refuses to pass anything. Yesterday he was on the toilet for 30 mins (too long, I know but he was desperate for a poo and I thought it would be imminent but he kept pushing it back). Eventually he let go and was pleased as punch with himself and got chocolate for his efforts and I thought we'd cracked it. Today, he’s refused to go to the toilet at all. When he’s been put on (through lots of reassurances/games, etc. ) he’s refused to go. In fact, he’s held onto a wee for 5 hours!!! I’ve tried everything (reassurance, ‘big boy’ style praise, even bribery of chocolate which he’d usually do anything for) but nothing has helped. What can I do? I’m trying to present as calm, reassuring and collected but I’m beyond frustrated already. His nap and nighttime nappies are full of wee so there’s clearly enough there that he’s holding on to. I don’t want him to develop any behavioural issues or for him to get an infection by refusing to wee. Should I abandon everything and try again later or persevere? I need to add that nothing has ever been easy with this child and I’m dreading this whole process.

I have a baby and so lots of time and energy is being spent on my toddler at the baby’s expense :/ I feel like we’ll never get there. Can anyone provide any advice, tips or reassurance?

I've just ordered him a fancy potty today to see if we fare better with that. Other than that, I think back to nappies it is :(

Anyone?

@dottypencilcase curious to see how you got in? My son is doing this too!

I'd just relax a little bit tbh. Leave him to it. Either he will wee on the toilet, wee in his nappy at naptime or have an accident. It will come out at some point!

It sounds very high pressure with all the bribery and praise and games and convincing him to sit on toilet etc.

Leave him to it for the next few days and see how it goes. Then reassess.

Make sure he is drinking enough too, more to practise with then!

Sounds so high pressure. My LO can hold a wee for 5 hours. Your making it a battle.
Unless there's a problem with passing poo (holding because of pain for example) or they're waiting to do it in a nappy just let them tell you when they're ready to go.

I tend to insist we try for 2 minutes before leaving the house (I have a timer) but if we're not about to leave the house for a long journey I let them manage when they need to go

I think he was enjoying using the toilet when there was no pressure but now he feels pressured into going and it's effecting him negatively.
I'd probably put him back into nappies and wait a couple of weeks then try again or let him tell you he wants to go.
I think as soon as the pressures off he'll come to you to say he needs to go.

Apologies for the late update (I didn't think there were any replies!): I was ready to give up the next day and get him back into pull-ups but something changed and we had regular wees without fuss and even managed a poo! Apart from a few accidents, at nursery, where he's left it too late to get to the toilet, he's been brilliant since.

He's one of those children who won't tell you what he needs (water, food) or if he's too hot or cold so I'm having to ask him if he needs the toilet constantly. This is something I'm working on with him atm.