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DS won't even sit on the potty. Should I carry on?
27

Yamaya · 13/07/2021 12:16

My DS is 3 next month. Decided it was time to Potty train because he has been showing resistance to having his nappy changed when he's pooed and just generally being difficult.

I was trying the oh crap method so no bottoms or pants. When he starts to wee and I try and put him on the potty he really freaks out and won't even sit on the potty for a second.
So far this morning we've had 4 wees and 1 poo on the floor Sad

Should I take a break and try to get him used to sitting on the potty first, as carrying on seems to be making it more traumatic for him.

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Needapoodle · 13/07/2021 12:17

He's not ready.

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Needapoodle · 13/07/2021 12:18

I found the potty was confusing for mine. I ditched it and got them using the toilet from the beginning.

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TomRipley · 13/07/2021 12:21

At nearly 3 I'd go straight to the toilet rather than a potty.

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nc8765 · 13/07/2021 12:25

How long have you been doing Oh Crap for? You'll get accidents the first few days.

I second just taking him straight to the toilet.

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Yamaya · 13/07/2021 12:26

OK I'll have another go this afternoon putting him on the toilet instead. Do you do the same thing just carrying him to the toilet when he starts to go?

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LakeShoreD · 13/07/2021 12:26

Have you tried a toilet seat instead? I don’t know many people that have had success with an actual potty unless they’re training a much younger child.

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mummabubs · 13/07/2021 12:27

My DS was exactly the same, hated having his nappy changed and showed zilcho interest/ willingness to engage in potty training. We decided to just be led by him rather than fight... Two weeks ago we started formally potty training. He's 3 years 9 months now and as he was that bit older we were able to explain it all to him. He was self-initiating going to the potty within 3 hours and within 4 days he was accident-free and dry overnight. I'm so glad we decided to take pressure off ourselves and him to try and force training earlier just because some of his peers had done it already.

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Yamaya · 13/07/2021 12:28

Today is the first day trying. Its just the fact that he won't sit on the potty at all and is getting really distressed about it. He might do the same thing with the toilet to be honest. He's very willful and doesn't like to be manhandled.

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/07/2021 12:29

Have you got steps up to the loo- can be stand for the loo? Honestly a 3 yr old is ready unless any sen- what you are experiencing is resistance to change - oh crap is great just keep at it

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LakeShoreD · 13/07/2021 12:29

X post. I’d do regular tries on the toilet, try reading a story if he’s reluctant to sit on it and if he starts to go on the floor, scoop him up and rush.

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mummabubs · 13/07/2021 12:30

Should add OP that we also broadly used the Oh Crap method. I agree with a lot of what she says but I thoroughly disagree with her blanket statement that if you leave it post 36 months to potty train that you've screwed up as a parent. Myself and DH both work/ed in child development services... All children are different and there's nothing wrong with listening to and being led by your child and instinct as his parent x

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Yamaya · 13/07/2021 12:32

Yes we have a little step and a childs toilet seat that comes down and is smaller so he doesn't fall in.
Good idea with the book ready because he loves books and that would be a good distraction.

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Legomania · 13/07/2021 12:35

Have you done the whole reading stories, buying cool pants, talking about being a big boy etc?

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BigGreen · 13/07/2021 12:40

My DS hated the potty but got really excited about standing up wees.

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notthemum · 13/07/2021 13:20

Hi Op. First things you need to know this is not the end of the world. (Not lovely when you have to clear it up but you will face worse).
Try not to stress, as little one will either think this is very funny and try to stress you more (quick note for anyone about to shout that small children don't know how to do this, they do).
Other point is child will see you are upset and then associate this with going to the toilet.
Apparently you can get books about going to the toilet these days. I think i would get one (only for the loo) keep it in the loo with toilet seat.
Every time you go to the loo say to little one " mummy is going to the toilet, do you want to come ? " sometimes they will, sometimes they won't. Don't stress.
Depending upon their general understanding you may be able to talk to them and explain that babies wear nappies and big children wear pants, that big children can go outside more, park,shop etc. If they are a little older then having wet pants on is not comfortable and might make them sore.
If nothing appears to work, I would give it a couple of weeks and try again.
This is a marvellous (but very trying) time. They want you to know that they are in charge 😏 and you have to gently teach them that they are not. They want to do everything, see everything, play with everything (especially if you don't want them to). They are wonderful, exhausting and amazing. You are wonderful, exhausted and also amazing.
Don't worry about what friends or family think, do what is best for you and your child.
Take care Op, you have got this. 💐

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Yamaya · 13/07/2021 13:32

No, it's the same thing with the toilet. You know when they relax their shoulders and you literally can't pick them up? Well I still managed to grab him under his leg and get him in the bathroom but he wouldn't sit down and was screaming like I was torturing him. I think I need to get him to practice sitting on the toilet without the pressure and hurrying because he is weeing everywhere. I'll talk to his nursery too and see what they suggest.

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4PawsGood · 13/07/2021 13:34

We had to bribe one of ours with chocolate buttons. Showing them the button first.

Not for everyone, I appreciate.

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Yamaya · 13/07/2021 13:39

I have no issue with bribery! Whatever works Wink

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livingwithbees · 13/07/2021 13:43

I had similar and did a mix of everything, including bribery with smarties! Although DD did cotton onto this early and would expect a smartie for every tiny bit of wee squeezed out 🤦‍♀️

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NewMum0305 · 13/07/2021 13:43

We tried Oh Crap with our daughter at 21 months (a lot earlier than planned) as she was showing signs and came across the same challenges you are having.

We are now trying again (27 months) and started with doing regular prompting with a star sticker on a sticker chart if she sits on the potty or toilet and a special Bing sticker if she actually goes to wee or poo.

We have found it MILES better than the method of watching and moving her to the potty when she starts peeing, which I think made it more stressful for everyone! Now we ask if she wants to go and leave it if she says no, and if she is saying no but I think she does need to go, then I take her up to the toilet with me and say I need to go and ask if she wants to go before me or after me (she always says before!)

I also regularly take her to wee with me anyway when I need to go and make a big deal of celebrating the sound of the wee going into the toilet when I go, which has meant she does the same when she goes.

I think the ‘going naked to start with’ aspect of Oh Crap makes total sense but the “watch them like a hawk and put them on the potty when they start peeing” just made my daughter refuse to engage in the process at all.

That said, there is no shame in taking a break for a few weeks and starting again if it’s creating stress x

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sunshinepunch · 13/07/2021 16:11

Every child is different however neither of my boys would use the potty. Used it as a knight's helmet and sat in it to watch telly 😂 but wouldn't use it for its intended purpose. I waited a little longer and just used a soft child seat on the toilet. Few accidents but they just couldn't use the potty so no point in preserving.

Whatever you do will be the right thing for your child and this 'phase' of life will pass!

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sunshinepunch · 13/07/2021 16:12

Oh and both my boys were ready at just past 3 so whatever time your child is ready, they're ready

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funinthesun19 · 13/07/2021 23:50

I put DD’s potty in the bathroom and I sat on the toilet, and encouraged her to do the same but on the potty. You could try that? Take some books in with you and hopefully he will sit there and listen to a story too. Just to get him familiarised with the potty and that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

Easier said than done though I know! DD wasn’t interested in the potty at first and wouldn’t sit on it. But the more I went on and on about it the more it eventually start to click with her.

This is my 4th time potty training as DD has three older brothers, and each time I’ve felt like I’m just winging it! You’ll get there one way or another. I’m still potty training DD now. We’re about a week in now.

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KingdomScrolls · 14/07/2021 00:00

DS loved the pirate Pete potty book (it's noisy and had a button that cheers and a picture of a poo but DS loves it) and the hey duggee potty training badge book, stickers worked well plus pants with his favourite characters on. He's now only in nappies at night and it's happened suddenly. We've done no pants and potty at home for a couple of months but it's only the last few weeks he's been getting it elsewhere. He's actually in pants at nursery now. He's a bit over 2.5. my niece was trained at two and I felt a bit anxious he was going to take ages as we had lots of accidents the first few days at home.

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KingdomScrolls · 14/07/2021 00:02

We also let him flush the toilet when he goes on there (step and child seat) the first time he got to do that he clapped himself!

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