HELP! 2.5 year old knows they need to wee, but holds it until she has a nappy on.

[MermaidTail7]

So far we've been pretty chilled with potty training our 2.5 year old DD. She's had sporadic periods of wanting to wear pants and sit on the toilet and potty with (wee) success which we have supported and enouraged her, hoping that it would "click" if we let her take the lead with our encouragement without it becoming a negative issue. She is very much still in nappies, but definately knows the deal in terms of pants/potties/toilets and what goes where, and also happily sits on the potty at nursery as part of nappy changes, although she's not done anything in a potty at nursery.

With the good weather recently, we've had a number of incidences where she has been in the garden/paddling pool naked, has said she needs a wee, but has point blank refused (to the point of tantrum) to wee in the potty, toilet, or on the grass ...eventually I have capitulated and put her in a nappy, which she promptly fills with a big wee. Offering rewards, or treats doesn't seem to work, she just says she wants a nappy.

So, she definately knows she needs a wee, and can definately hold it.. But how do I get her to take the next step to using a potty or toilet? I really want to avoid it becoming a big negative issue for her (and us) if I possibly can.

Has anyone had experince of this, and had success with the next step?

Get rid of the nappies. Tell her they have gone and remove them. Sometimes being and in nappies and sometimes not is far too confusing for toddlers.

I agree - I think you should either get rid of nappies completely or postpone potty training for a while. Relaxed training sounds good in theory but I think it's confusing for her.

I agree that the relaxed method seems good in theory but in reality it just confuses them. Either put back in nappies til older or decide no more nappies

Shopping for really fancy/tacky Frozen knickers helped for us with DD2 😉 She wasn't terribly happy to see them "go in a nappy bag for the bin" after a poo. Wee accidents just meant we ran out of Elsa knickers and had to wear boring white ones.
Dd1 was as you describe. Pure bribery with a tablet worked. The slightest drip was rewarded with at least 3 cartoons!

Maybe she feels more secure peeing in a nappy? Have you tried those super bulky fabric training pants? I got some bamboo ones for my DD to transition from nappy to pants. The difference is they feel wet when they pee in them as opposed to the dry feeling when they pee in a nappy.

Thanks all, some really useful stuff here... Update, I spoke to her nursery who decided to try her with weeing on the potty, and she apparently had a 'super fun' day of going and sitting and weeing on the potty with her friends (two other children the same age who are slightly further along the potty game)... At the nursery door at pick up we had lots of agreement that we'd put pants on when we got home (she had pull ups on at nursery and no pants in her bag as it was an impromptu decision on nursery's behalf to try the potty) and wear pants over the weekend, then as soon as we actually got home we were back to tears and a stark refusal to put pants on.

My plan is to do half a day tomorrow in pants (we have plans that can't be changed on Saturday morning that involve a long an early car journey) then all day Sunday and see how we go.

Wish me luck!

Update-Saturday we were out all day with a friend and thier potty trained child.. Cue our DS (in nappies) wanting to sit on the toilet every time I went to the loo.. Sunday, we agree a morning of pants and potty before a swimming lesson... DS holds her wee in for nearly 3 hours... She was clearly desperate, and in pain but spent a good hour refusing to wee in the potty or toilet despite sitting on them.. In the end she finally had a massive potty wee because she physically could not hold it in any longer, but was hysterically sobbing all the way through, and kept trying to stand up and look for her nappies. It was traumatic, exhausting, and heartbreaking for everyone involved, and I properly hated myself for making her so upset afterwards... Think I'm just going to knock it on the head for a bit, it's not worth seeing her so upset over something like potty training.

Oh darn that doesn't sound good! I think you're doing the right thing to put it on the back burner for a while. Hopefully when you come back to it in a couple of months it'll all click into place for her. You're right not to rush it. A few months may seem like a huge delay but really it's just a blink of an eye! She will get it!