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Potty training - keep going or stop?
25

JammyC · 01/06/2021 22:17

DD2 is 3. We started potty training 3 weeks ago after she demanded to wear big girl pants. We have bought many character pants, we have steps, training seats and potties, she has a reward chart and buttons for anything in the toilet or potty.

She’s just not getting it at all! She holds in her wee. Then does a wee dance and fights going on the toilet or potty then wees on the floor. Sometimes right next to the potty/toilet. Nursery are taking her to a toilet every half hour. She hops on, sits for 10 seconds then hops off. Wee on the floor. On average we have 5-7 changes of clothes in a day.

I’m contemplating reverting to pull ups for a few months and trying again. Nursery think that she should keep going longer as that might confuse her.

WWYD?

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kitkatsky · 01/06/2021 22:25

She's not ready. I waited until DD told me no more nappies and she got it within a week. Would it work to tell your DD no more big girl pants until a full day/ half day of potty wees?

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MeadowHay · 01/06/2021 22:27

If you've seen no real progress in 3 weeks I would definitely pack it in and try again in a couple of months time. You could leave the potty out in the meantime and talk about it, read books about it, that kind of thing and see if that encourages her at all.

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yahyahs22 · 01/06/2021 22:43

She doesn't sound ready just yet which is completely normal! But I heard a horror story from someone who worked in a school. The teachers give the parents a certain amount of time and 'warnings' to potty train till they report the parents! Absolutely insane.

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JammyC · 02/06/2021 06:32

She definitely knows when she is weeing, whilst wearing a pull up she stops, stands with feet apart and waits for the wee to hit the floor. But she seems to be scared or worried about wee in the potty or toilet. She moves up to the preschool room in September (not year R but the final
Room at nursery) so i would ideally like her trained for then. Maybe we should try again in the summer holidays?

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Fitforforty · 02/06/2021 08:00

Read the oh crap method book. Ideally she needs to be naked for at least the first 2 days and then no knickers for at least 6 weeks.

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spacedandtimed · 02/06/2021 08:11

@kitkatsky

She's not ready. I waited until DD told me no more nappies and she got it within a week. Would it work to tell your DD no more big girl pants until a full day/ half day of potty wees?

Of course she's ready!

Op - get the Oh Crap book and stick to it religiously
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JammyC · 02/06/2021 21:10

So nursery today on pick up (and another 6 changes of clothes) said “oh we’ve made huge progress today! She sat on the toilet for about 3-4mins for 3 attempts” but still nothing in the toilet. I was ready to say let’s stop and try in a few months but nursery seemed keen they’d had a teeny tiny improvement in terms of how long she sits there, they now think it’s a matter of time before a wee appears in the right place.

I’m still not convinced but will maybe keep going another week? At least the weather is warmer currently so dresses are a little easier than leggings etc.

Have heard of the oh crap book but we can’t realistically have her without pants for over a week - nursery won’t do it like that for obvious reasons and we can’t take a week of annual leave as have both already allocated to cover older child school holidays.

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spacedandtimed · 02/06/2021 21:17

It's pants and trousers off for 2/3 days and then commando.

With potty training you really need to do it properly so you only have to do it once.

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Siennabear · 02/06/2021 21:29

I would leave it a couple of months and try again. It can’t be nice for her wetting 6-7 times a day.

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spacedandtimed · 03/06/2021 07:09

@Siennabear

I would leave it a couple of months and try again. It can’t be nice for her wetting 6-7 times a day.

Completely disagree. Potty training needs the parent's full attention and needs to be done properly.

This poor little girl is setting constantly because no one is teaching her properly and are rather expecting that she'll get it on her own. Madness
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LakeShoreD · 03/06/2021 07:23

I’m not sure the put her on the toilet every 30 minutes technique works for an older toddler that can hold it for a long time. It’s probably driving her insane. Our daycare was the same and it was not successful. Then we did commando at home, pumped her full of liquid (water, milk, apple juice, ice lollies) and only put her on the loo to try every 2 hours and read her a story whilst she sat there so it was a few minutes of trying. Almost no accidents. Then she when back to daycare and they insisted on the every 30-60 minutes thing and the accidents started again. So we pulled her out, dry again immediately, and the new nursery leaves her to go when she wants and she’s never had an accident there.

You could try giving it your full attention over a weekend to see if you make progress. Otherwise I’d leave it until you have leave booked over the summer holidays. There’s no point persisting if it’s not working and you can’t devote the time to it.

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AbstractHeart · 03/06/2021 08:02

Another vote for the oh crap method

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Treezan82 · 03/06/2021 08:33

Had the same with my son. Re-nappied and stopped all talk for about 2 months, then started again fresh. Second time he got it. Come to think of it, my daughter took 2 goes as well. Good luck!

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Treezan82 · 03/06/2021 08:34

Also, just have to say I absolutely hated Oh Crap - it needlessly stressed me out which made matters worse. Once I binned it, it all went fine! Just to provide some balance :)

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Bluntness100 · 03/06/2021 08:39

I’m with thr nursery, keep going, she’s making some improvement.

And don’t worry you don’t need to do no knickers for a week, I didn’t and it worked just fine,

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insancerre · 03/06/2021 08:43

Keep going
She’s making progress
I’m not a big fan of getting them to sit on the potty every 30 mins
I do the complete opposite in my nursery, I don’t remind them to go and wait for them to learn to recognise their own body and the feelings and sensations they get when their bladder is full

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spacedandtimed · 03/06/2021 09:13

@insancerre

Keep going
She’s making progress
I’m not a big fan of getting them to sit on the potty every 30 mins
I do the complete opposite in my nursery, I don’t remind them to go and wait for them to learn to recognise their own body and the feelings and sensations they get when their bladder is full

The every 30 mins thing is so stupid.

That's not training, that's catching wees by accident
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JammyC · 03/06/2021 19:12

I’m not sure what you are suggesting here. When we are at home we are very much focusing on her toiletting. We have tried everything (see my first post). We follow her with a potty. Have done rewards. We are not expecting her to get it on her own at all. We can’t ask for 1-2-1 care at nursery but they are helping as much as they can. We can’t take a week off work to do this so need them to support.

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JammyC · 03/06/2021 19:16

Sorry previous post was to the comment about nobody teaching her and expecting her to get it on her own.

Today on pick up they thought she had made more progress (still 6 changes). She is now taking herself to the toilets but not doing anything in them. Did a poo on the floor next to the toilet in fact! I again said to them perhaps we should revert to pull ups for a bit but they said no, there is progress but it’s very slow.

We have a quiet weekend ahead so can stay home in the garden with no pants and try to focus on it properly. But does that mean take her to the toilet regularly or just have a potty in the garden with us and direct her to it?

My eldest was trained much earlier and got it much quicker. I don’t remember it being this hard!

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diggingatrench · 03/06/2021 19:18

@JammyC

Sorry previous post was to the comment about nobody teaching her and expecting her to get it on her own.

Today on pick up they thought she had made more progress (still 6 changes). She is now taking herself to the toilets but not doing anything in them. Did a poo on the floor next to the toilet in fact! I again said to them perhaps we should revert to pull ups for a bit but they said no, there is progress but it’s very slow.

We have a quiet weekend ahead so can stay home in the garden with no pants and try to focus on it properly. But does that mean take her to the toilet regularly or just have a potty in the garden with us and direct her to it?

My eldest was trained much earlier and got it much quicker. I don’t remember it being this hard!

Keep a potty in the garden to hand
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Cotswoldmama · 03/06/2021 19:33

I think try again in a few weeks, go back to pull ups for now. Both my boys took two attempts, I feel like the first attempt set the seed in their minds and after a break and restarting they were both dry within a week. We only used the toilet and a stool for them to reach it, I'd leave the potty if you can otherwise you might have issues if there's no potty somewhere.

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diggingatrench · 03/06/2021 19:42

@JammyC

Honestly you're going to get many conflicting opinions on here.

Plus nurseries input.

All of that is too confusing. You really need to pick a book (oh crap really is the best) read it, and stick to it.

Otherwise you'll be mixing methods and giving very mixed signals to the child.

6 changes of clothing is just not on, you need to start again from absolute scratch.

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cadburyegg · 04/06/2021 23:09

If she’s pooing on the floor and you’re 3-4 weeks in I would put nappies back on her and don’t mention it again until your next attempt. The Oh Crap method is good, have her running around in just a t shirt at home for a couple of days. I would take her to the toilet or potty every hour not 30 minutes. Then you can move onto clothing. I did this method with both of mine but they wore pants from days 4ish onwards. If the next time an adult can be at home with her for a few days is the summer holidays then wait til then.

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Peppapeg · 04/06/2021 23:19

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JammyC · 14/06/2021 07:31

As a bit of an update we had a weekend at home in the garden last weekend, lots of accidents but lots in the potty. Following week at nursery she was having 1-2 accidents a day. So quite a big leap in progress! Chocolate bribery has worked a dream.

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