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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Will night time bed wetting stop naturally for 5.5 yo? Pull ups for now?

41 replies

Esthermoo01 · 01/06/2021 08:22

My daughter has been dry in the day since 2.5 and no daytime accidents for about ,2 years. She is 5.5 now, happy and healthy and doing well at school. She has been wearing pull ups at night and just decided to try a week without. I've discovered that she only wees once a night and it's around 9:30-10pm so if I wake her up for a wee she'll go and be dry for the rest of the night, if not she'll flood the bed and not even wake up and has no idea it's happened. We're doing all the usual...no fluids after dinner, lots of drinks in the day, wee before bed etc. I'm just wondering whether it's best to keep waking her or to put her back in pull ups? Either way it seems to be a waiting game...will she just be able to do it one day or have I done something wrong which is causing her to not be able to stay dry at night? Should I have tried night time training earlier? I'm worried it's going to go on for a long time and she'll miss out on things like sleepovers. It's not upsetting her atm and I don't want it to but not sure how to move forward. She's never had a dry pull up in the morning but will take it off for a wee in the morning so I think it's just the first part of the night. If I left her in pull ups would they just eventually end up dry one day?? As you can tell she's my first so it's new to me. All advice welcome! Many thanks!

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Original poster

Esthermoo01 · 01/06/2021 08:23

Just to add she doesn't like me waking her up (understandably!) And although her eyes are open and she chats with me she has no recollection of it at all in the morning!

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Bobojangles · 01/06/2021 08:27

Following as I'm in the same boat!

DoubleTweenQueen · 01/06/2021 08:34

I've two girls - both took significantly longer to be dry at night vs the day. I did the same as you - take them for a sleepy late wee and pull-ups. No fuss. Couple of accidents.
Let them both decide when they wanted to stop using pull-ups, no pressure. All worked out in the end. Different ages for each when they were able to be dry throughout but I suspect I still needed to take them for a sleepy wee when I went to bed, for a short time, but they always would insist on drinking water into the evening, and I didn't want to interfere with that.

Dingleydel · 01/06/2021 08:41

My dd was in pull ups at night until she was 6. I didn’t push anything and she just decided when she was ready. Some children do take a long time to be dry at night, I wouldn’t really stress to much about it. I Did discuss it with the gp once and I’m sure they said that they don’t investigate night time incontinence until they are 7.

Kathy2020 · 01/06/2021 08:41

We went through the same with one of my sons. We just put him back in pull ups. We just tried him without them around 1year later to leave off the pull ups (he was still wetting them at night) and said we would look into a bed wetting alarm. He wet the bed for the 1st few night when all of a sudden he just stopped and has been dry ever since never thought we’d see the see the day! He was around 6&1/2 when he stopped the bed wetting

Kathy2020 · 01/06/2021 08:42

Should have said we didn’t need to get a bed wetting alarm in the end

FoofOfTheWalkingDead · 01/06/2021 08:45

There's nothing you can do about night wetting, it's a hormonal thing. My DS was 6 when he finally stopped. He started refusing the pull-ups so we did a 'dream wee' around 11pm every night for a good 8 months. He got it eventually.

DancesWithDaffodils · 01/06/2021 08:55

You cant train her dry. He body needs to produce a hormone to reduce the amount of urine produced overnight.
The only thing worth trying would be a double void at bed time - so wee when bath/teeth etc, and then again literally just before you turn out the lights. I'd stop the 10pm thing - she's not happy with it.

CroneAVirus · 01/06/2021 09:01

My daughter wasn’t dry at night until a couple of months after her 6th birthday.

I was tearing my hair out. Tried every single technique. Went to see the doctor. Read the whole of the ERIC website from front to back. And then one week she just was dry and never wet the bed since.

I know exactly how you’re feeling right now but try not to panic. It will happen.

Original poster

Esthermoo01 · 01/06/2021 09:14

Thank you so much for all your responses, it's so good to know that others have been through the same. Those who persevered with either pull ups or a dream wee, how did you discover you no longer needed these things? Was it a case of suddenly the pull ups were dry for a while or having a go at not doing the dream wee and finding they longer wet the bed? Thanks so much everyone

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FoofOfTheWalkingDead · 01/06/2021 11:56

We would put a potty training pad under the sheet every month or so and forego the dream wee to see if he stayed dry. I kept the waterproof fitted sheets on until he was 7 just to be safe.

AlpineSue · 01/06/2021 12:06

We had the same, we stopped using pull ups aged 5 but woke her for 10.30/11pm trip to the toilet just before we went to bed ourselves, one night when DD was almost 7 she just got up herself and went to the toilet, from then on we stopped taking her. She never wet the bed again. It was like a switch, so I agree its a hormonal thing.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 01/06/2021 14:51

My elder DD was in pull ups throughout reception year, and they were soaked every night. Until they weren't.

One night she woke up dry, and the next, and the next. Never an accident. We didn't wake her for a late loo visit, or reduce her fluid intake, or train in any way. Just happened like flicking a switch.

Original poster

Esthermoo01 · 01/06/2021 16:16

Great, thank you. I will stop stressing about it and just ask whether she'd prefer pull ups or for me to wake her for a wee then just wait it out.

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SometimesALime · 01/06/2021 16:47

@Esthermoo01 As pp have said it is hormonal, when we sleep we produce the hormone vasopressin which reduces urine production meaning the bladder does not get full and so does not signal to be emptied.

Until they produce this hormone they will always fill their bladder early on. If the dream wee works and you are happy to continue to do it then carry on. If she starts producing the hormone her dream wee should yield less urine.

Ds wasn't dry until year 5. We had a proper incontinence waterproof sheet on his mattress and a bed pad. Because he had school residential trips we went to the GP when he was 7, they prescribed the synthetic hormone Desmopressin and it worked so we knew it was the hormone. We were unwilling to medicate him all the time so just used the Desmopressin for school trips and our holidays.

We did try the alarm but he woke up completely stressed so it wasn't worth it.

MrsNutNutsmarriedaphilanderer · 01/06/2021 16:51

One of my DC took until they were 10 (summer before year6) until they were reliably dry every night.

The other DC was dry at night at 2.

Definitely down to the hormone. I did everything advised: measured, increased drinking during day, avoided things known to irritate bladder (red juices/ caffeine), lifting to toilet at bedtime, night alarm etc, spent a small fortune on night pull ups... ended up with a lot of washing in the mornings and a DC sleeping on the floor sometimes when they'd had an accident.
I'm not saying this to demoralise you or panic you that you have years of this ahead and hopefully your DC will naturally become dry sooner rather than later. I wanted to share my experience so that parents and children struggling with longer term bed wetting know that it can resolve itself eventually. There were times I thought it would never end!

If children become dry at night easily I don't think some parents understand what a struggle it is for those families where it's an ongoing issue.

reallyreallyborednow · 01/06/2021 16:58

Yes it’s a hormone and biofeedback thing- they need to start producing antidiuretic hormone which shuts down the kidneys at night, and also the body has to learn to wake if the bladder is full.

Waking to toilet can be counter productive. If they aren’t fully waking then you’re effectively teaching them to pee in their sleep. Secondly as above they need to learn to recognise the signal from a full bladder- this won’t happen if you take them for a dream wee. So I wouldn’t bother.

Bear in mind 1 in 7 kids aren’t dry at night by age 8. So that’s 4 or 5 kids in a year 3 class.

Original poster

Esthermoo01 · 01/06/2021 18:33

Thank you for sharing your experiences, if it is something that needs time then o won't bother wasting my efforts stressing about things like alarms which I think my dd would hate. Good to know that you can be prescribed the desmopressin for residentials. Tbh if it takes until she's 10 so be it as long as I am able to prevent her from feeling any stress or shame about it.

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reallyreallyborednow · 01/06/2021 18:36

Tbh if it takes until she's 10 so be it as long as I am able to prevent her from feeling any stress or shame about it

I used to ask her to pick out the other 4 kids in her class that weren’t dry. Obviously she couldn’t, so if she couldn’t, they wouldn’t be able to pick her out.

I had a rule that if she had 3 dry nappies in a row, she could try without. One day though she just woke up dry and never had an accident again (around 7, iirc). Before that she’d wet two or three times a night.

RainBow725 · 01/06/2021 19:19

Another be here that took a loooong time - about 10/11 years old. He just slept like the dead - even slept through the bed wetting alarm most of the time. Don't worry too much. The DryNiights bed sheets are really good.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 01/06/2021 19:33

Couple of my kids were 8, then it was like flicking a switch, they were dry and never wet the bed at all having been soaking through pull ups a few nights before.

We reassured lots, pointed out that you wouldn't be able to buy up to age 15 dry nites in tesco if it wasn't common and made sure they had baggy onsies for sleepovers, beaver camps etc. They would go to the loo and pop on under their onsie and nobody could tell.

Original poster

Esthermoo01 · 01/06/2021 19:53

@reallyreallyborednow with the dream wee I guess the only point of it is to prevent bed wetting. If I don't do it then she will wet the bed in her sleep and not even wake up as she doesn't realise...I guess what I'm saying is she wees in her sleep regardless it's just whether it's on the loo or in her bed...would your choice be to go with pull ups then?

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Kdubs1981 · 01/06/2021 19:55

She will get there when she's developmentally ready. Don't worry. My son of 5 and the same. I wasn't dry at night until nearly 7. All within normative range. Give her time!

reallyreallyborednow · 01/06/2021 19:58

with the dream wee I guess the only point of it is to prevent bed wetting. If I don't do it then she will wet the bed in her sleep and not even wake up as she doesn't realise...I guess what I'm saying is she wees in her sleep regardless it's just whether it's on the loo or in her bed...would your choice be to go with pull ups then?

Yes. They need to learn to wake up when their bladder tells them it’s full. They won’t learn that if you wake them and empty the bladder before it’s full.

Also you say she has no recollection and isn’t fully aware- so for her she is peeing in her sleep still. She isn’t learning to wake up.

It’s a hassle as well.

Original poster

Esthermoo01 · 01/06/2021 22:57

@reallyreallyborednow okay yeah that makes sense. So at some point she will make the connection but if I take her for a dream wee there won't be the chance to make the connection between a full bladder and waking up to go to the loo. Thanks!

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