Concerned about childminder and potty training

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

First day child, 2.7 years old, at childminder since potty training. I started 5 days ago at home with him so a good run.
I'm very uncomfortable by childminders attitude towards this. She's clearly rolling her eyes and being grumpy about potty training (never tried before) at drop off.
I've got back from work and my son was hysterical sobbing for 45min when I asked how was his day. He's hat lots of accidents and I'm really concerned as he's never like this after being with childminder.
Apparently he was naughty in afternoon and got told off, all normal bu usually he dosnt get upset if u ask him and I repeat about being kind or whatever.
Am I right to be concerned? Or is it normal for childminders to have an issue?
He's not back at hers for another 5 days but I'm very uncomfortable

She shouldn't have an issue with it, potty training is part of the job when you work with small children. It will be harder for her to be as on top of it as you are at home though if she has several other children to take care of so I would probably expect more accidents. I'd be worried about him being that upset though. What did the childminder say about his day/how it had gone?

5 days isn't really very long for you to get potty training established. Most childminders are happy to support potty training but really the child should have started at home for a longer time than 5 days.

There's more children and distractions at the childminder's house so accidents are more likely. She will also realistically have a lot less time to focus specifically on your child and take them to the potty regularly as there are also other children to care for.

Did you discuss your plans with her beforehand or did you just tell her this morning that you had started? It might have been a good idea to discuss your plans first.

Did the childminder explain why he was upset?

It's good that he's not there for another 5 days so you can try and get the training better established.

She knew and it was the longest block of time I had with him 1:1 and he starts school nursery in Sept so needs to be potty trained. She told me he needed to be as well and he seemed ready, so not a shock at all.
He will have accidents its just concerning how anti it she seemed to be as I assumed is a normal process for children at childminders, to try in advance and then do potty as they go. I was concerned by her attitude and how upset ds was more than the accidents, as she did warn me they can be worse.
He's used potty 3 times since coming home from childminder today and been okay with it.

He's been pretty good although first 2 days were dire as expected but he's got to grips with it with me and I can't confuse him by doing nappies again as it's not fair

What do you mean she seems anti potty training? Is he able to tell her that he needs the toilet? If she’s refusing to take him to the toilet when he says he needs that is an issue. If he’s unable to tell when he needs the toilet and you expect her to take him every 15-20 mins, that’s unrealistic on your part.

He can say potty, very verbal, and I've advised he needs to sit on it before going out and coming back as he's gets over excited about going out else.
We show him where potty is so he can run to it if needed which he has been doing himself at home.
It's the way she eye rolled and spoke, my partner who is generally very unaware said she seemed hospitle to potty training and he was surprised as has 3 older ones and never had this previously with nursery that they went to (although that was a log time ago)

I fully accept that I may be being oversensitive bu I was a bit surprised and ds has been extremely upset. Partner picked him up not me or I'd have said something

Poor boy! I'd be concerned by him being so upset and about him being called 'naughty'. He's only just learning how to use the potty and I would expect the childminder to be supportive of that fact. Surely that's part of her role if she is looking after early years? I'm sorry for you OP that your childminder seems to see this as a burden. I hope you do manage to discuss your concerns with her and your little one isn't distressed any further.

It is your childminder that has the issue not you or your DS. It's their job to support him however you wish not to roll their eyes or label him as naughty. In contrast my dd (actually potty trained for a year but relapsing) had 5 accidents at her preschool the other day and they didn't bat an eyelid. We just talked about how we could both support her to get back on track again and what might be causing the relapse which is how it SHOULD be. Big red flags in how you're describing the CM there for me. I quickly removed mine from a similar sounding CM and it was the best thing I've ever done for my dd.... just saying

PS yes it IS reasonable to ask anyone professionally caring for your child to take them to the toilet regularly if that's what you wish. My dd's nursery managed and probably have a higher child to adult ratio than CM tbh. They shouldn't be putting up any barriers to potty training and yet it seems to be more of an issue with cm's. One of the reasons I quickly ditched mine was because they sent a snotty letter to all parents saying they would not support potty training if the child couldn't get their own trousers down... WTF?! Sorry but it's a red flag if they're unwilling to support the development of one of the key elements of early years teaching

If it was discussed beforehand and your son is able to communicate when he needs the potty then I'm surprised at the eye rolling. It sounds like he is ready.

I used to childmind and I will confess that when a child turned up in pants on a Monday after having never ever shown any readiness for potty training prior to that and the parents declare he has potty trained in the space of the weekend, my heart would sink rather. I'd never eye roll though. Your scenario sounds very different though.

I hope his next session goes better. Perhaps ask her what you can all do to make the transition between home potty training and childcare potty training easier. There may be a specific issue that can be sorted out.

Personally I preferred starting potty training when the weather was good so there could be lots of outdoor time. A wee accident in the garden is a lot easier to deal with than one all over a sofa or carpet.

To be fair asides from a recent relapse which was likely due to a UTI my dd DID potty train over a weekend pretty much. And it's up to parents not their nursery/cm to decide when they're ready. Parents already struggle with balancing work so having to take a/l solely to potty train really isn't an option for most. Nursery's job is to follow parent,'s lead not put barriers in the way

'I quickly ditched mine was because they sent a snotty letter to all parents saying they would not support potty training if the child couldn't get their own trousers down... WTF?!'

This is perfectly reasonable, unless the child in question has a disability.

Being potty trained means they can toilet independently. You can't toilet independently if you can't get your trousers up and down. The note is telling parents to put your potty training child in trousers that are easily pulled up and down (joggers or leggings rather than jeans normally). If a child doesn't have the motor skills to do this, they are not ready to toilet independently. You work on this first, then take the nappy off.

Thanks we had a chat today and seems okay now. I communicated how upset he was and I was worried about him, so we had an open chat. Feel better about it now bu if it happens again Monday I'll be keeping him home somehow as I won't have him that upset.
A plans in place and he's had zero accidents today at home and shouted for potty ona car ride which was a bit of a mad dash to safely stop for him.
So moving the right way.
Thanks everyone

@NuffSaidSam

'I quickly ditched mine was because they sent a snotty letter to all parents saying they would not support potty training if the child couldn't get their own trousers down... WTF?!'

This is perfectly reasonable, unless the child in question has a disability.

Being potty trained means they can toilet independently. You can't toilet independently if you can't get your trousers up and down. The note is telling parents to put your potty training child in trousers that are easily pulled up and down (joggers or leggings rather than jeans normally). If a child doesn't have the motor skills to do this, they are not ready to toilet independently. You work on this first, then take the nappy off.

Sorry disagree. If they're capable of getting themselves to the toilet on time and communicating that they need the toilet then why would you make them stay in nappies for the sake of pulling a pair of pants down? Agree it helps to be able to do it but tbh I'm a year past training my dd and I still sometimes do it for her if I sense there's a rush. I'd hope her nursery had the common sense to do the same not just refuse to engage with it ...

If they're capable of getting themselves to the toilet on time and communicating that they need the toilet then (unless they have a disability) they're capable of getting their trousers down too! If they can't then the problem is the choice of trousers or having not been shown/encouraged to do so.

When school/nursery require children to be potty trained they mean toilet independently. This includes pulling down (and up again) their own trousers.

If my child was ready to be potty trained I wouldn't keep them in nappies. I would however put them in appropriate clothing and teach them all the aspects of being potty trained, starting with step one: take your trousers down. It's just the logical way to do things!

I will also occasionally pull their trousers down/up for them when time is of the essence/just for ease but to be considered potty trained they need to be able to do it themselves when needed.