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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Floor wee seems to have become normal...

22 replies

Erobin19 · 03/05/2021 07:24

And I have no idea why. LB is 21 months old and we've been training for around 3 months now. I know he's young but he has continually shown progress, except for a few times when he has slipped backwards for whatever reason. At the beginning of April he was at the point where he was sometimes telling me that he needed to go and doing it on the potty, only having 1 or 2 accidents a day. And then, as of right now, we have had nearly a month of gradual back steps to the point that he's now only managing the easy catches (wake up, arrival) and won't even tell me that he needs to go. He also used to be pretty accurate if I asked him "do you need a wee" but now I think he just says no so he can go do what he wants. He has no problems with sitting on the potty and actually enjoys it, will tell me he needs a wee when he doesn't. I will admit to using the TV a bit too much, but I've started reducing it and actually using it as a reward for AFTER he's done a wee, and he seems to be receptive to the idea of this, although no real difference to success as yet.
He was wearing pants to nursery (3 days) but after the first week of regression we decided he was holding his wee and having accidents because of it (had been in pants for a good 2-3 weeks at this point). This doesn't happen at home, he just does it where he stands now.
The only thing this really coincides with is a massive increase in daytime sleep, to the point that he can have 3 hours in nursery, wake up at 2:45 and then be absolutely shattered by 5. It is very hard to get him to have a second nap (hasn't had a second since he turned 1) and we don't get home from nursery (I work there) until nearly 7 so there's no option of getting him to bed sooner.
I'm scared to put him back in nappies full time in case he gets confused, especially considering he hasn't worn a nappy at home (except for night time sleep) for 3 months now. The other times he has gone backwards, there have been other symptoms such as bad sleeping, lack of appetite, other aspects of development also stepping backwards, but this time this is literally the only thing. His speech and absolutely everything else is coming along very well (he can actually read numbers and recognise many letters).
Please help, I am absolutely sick of continuous puddles and cluelessness.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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dementedpixie · 03/05/2021 07:41

Sounds like he's not quite ready
Could you use pull ups so they pull down like pants but catch accidents too

mummabubs · 03/05/2021 07:57

Sounds really young to me too and not sure that he is showing signs.of being ready is he? (Initial progress is different to readiness!) Maybe I'm blinkered though as our 3 year old DS (who is definitely at the other end of the potty training spectrum!) happily tells us that he wants to poo in his nappy. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Honestly I'd leave it if it were me and come back to it when he's able to understand more about recognising physical urges and what potty training is all about.

wintertime6 · 03/05/2021 08:09

He sounds too young and my experience from friends who tried to potty train too early was it caused them more problems in the long run. There are inevitably more accidents at that age and they can just get used to having accidents and think that's normal and it then becomes very difficult to get them potty trained.

I would go back to nappies and try again when they're somewhere between 2 and a half and 3.

Rainallnight · 03/05/2021 08:11

He’s too young. What all of this is telling you is that he’s not ready. Potty training shouldn’t go on enforcing three months (leaving aside any SEN or sensory issues).

Are you particularly invested in doing it early?

Rainallnight · 03/05/2021 08:12

shouldn’t go on for* three months.

gingerbiscuit19 · 03/05/2021 08:12

Sounds like he's too young and not ready. Once they are ready it'll only take a couple
Of days

dementedpixie · 03/05/2021 08:14

My ds was trained by age 2 but he very quickly had no accidents whereas you are saying your dc still had 1-2 accidents a day which isn't that much progress. He just doesn't sound completely ready to be dry

Original poster

Erobin19 · 03/05/2021 08:22

Pull ups are just easy-on nappies. He wears them in nursery and out and about and he doesn't tell the staff anything. That's why I had him wear pants to nursery at one point, because he was doing really well at home but not saying a word about it or doing anything on the potty there.
Saying that, I'm really tired and really rather demoralised so I might trial it today, just ask him if he needs to go and put him on when he wants to. I have a pretty good sense of when he needs to wee.

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 03/05/2021 08:32

I know what pullups are as I used them with ds at the start of potty training and took him regularly to the toilet while wearing them. Do you still get the potty training ones that are less absorbant?

Original poster

Erobin19 · 03/05/2021 08:47

I started using pull ups as nappies when he was little and it became too difficult to change normal nappies, so I got the strong kind. I guess I can give the rubbish ones a go again.

Just thought I'd come back to say I am absolutely crushed. He just did a wee and walked off as though nothing had happened. It's getting worse and worse and he hasn't done that since before I even took the nappies away in the first place. There's no rush, but I was so proud of him for everything he's achieved and I was so emotionally invested in the process and now I feel like a complete failure but the nappies have gone back on. Will try the thin ones.
Gonna have to go wake Daddy now while I cry. :'D :'(

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 03/05/2021 08:49

He's not even 2, why are you crying?
Was he even showing signs of readiness when you started?
You get washable training pants too I think

MrsTophamHat · 03/05/2021 08:52

It sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself, and that he is not ready.

Why did it become too hard to change normal nappies?

My son was around his third birthday when we did it. There were times when he seemed to go backwards with it. Ultimately a sticker chart got us over the line, but he was old enough to understand the concept by then.

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 03/05/2021 08:52

He’s not even 2. Potty training doesn’t take 3 months. Just put him in pull ups and give yourself a break, it’s not worth getting upset over. Try again in a few months. Potty training before 2 seems to be like some kind of weird badge of pride on MN but if it’s at the expense of a happy life then really, what’s the point.

polkadotpixie · 03/05/2021 08:53

Don't feel bad OP, he's just not ready!

He'd be unusual to be trained so early anyway so there's nothing to feel sad about. I tried to train my DS at 2.3 and it was a disaster! Stopped and tried again at 2.7 and he got it in 2 days and is usually dry at night too

They're ready when they're ready and trying to force it too soon makes it harder in the long run in my experience. DSis refused to give up and has had a nightmare time with DN

CommunistLegoBloc · 03/05/2021 08:54

He's absolutely too young. Put him back in nappies, try again in six months.

Merriwicks · 03/05/2021 09:06

Sounds like he isn't ready and ypu are making hard work for yourself. My first potty trained at 21 months. Asked herself to go potty and refused wear a nappy. However she is still not dry at nighttime at 4. We probably had about 2 accidents the first day and none after that. She did go through a regression stage a few weeks after training but wuick2came out again.
My second we have just 2 weeks ago trained. We tried multiple multiple times as we thought she would be the same as the first. But after 2 accidents we always put a nappy back on as felt she wasn't ready, would wait until she was and less work for us. Well 2 weekends ago, we tried again and no accidents at all, number twos nailed from second day. Takes herself to toilet without being asked or asking. We went to park yesterday for 2 hrs with no accidents.
What im trying to say is, wait until they are ready, less heartache for everyone.

EnglishRain · 03/05/2021 09:11

You are analysing what he is doing so much (I can relate, I do this too!), and from an outsider's perspective I think he just isn't ready, as opposed to their being clear reasons why he is starting to do floor wees etc. Just because you made a decision, ie. to potty train, one day, doesn't mean it's the right thing a week or month down the line, and you can change what you're doing without being a failure! Maybe he was nearly ready, but then other things in his development have kicked off and he's not ready now. They still learn and grow so much at his age.

Is part of it that you worry stopping looks bad to colleagues and friends/family who knew he was potty training? The way you mention him recognising numbers and letters makes me wonder if you feel the need to compare him to others and for him to do this early as well as other things? Not meaning this in a mean way, I have felt a bit left behind as DD at 9 months isn't crawling. Her gross motor skills are OK but she's definitely slower with them. What people have helped me realise is that her fine motor skills are really good, and that it's unusual for them to be ace at everything from so early on.

DwangelaForever · 03/05/2021 09:13

Pull ups differ from nappies in that they give them that wet feeling and should only be used as nappies if you're going out and about when potty training. Using a potty at home then pull ups in nursery is giving mixed signals and a false sense of security that he can just go where he is. I think you've started far too early. As others have said potty training should only take a few days, starting early but wearing pull ups in nursery is probably confusing him. I would leave it for a month or two then try again. My boy will be 3 in September and I tried one day last month and he clearly wasn't ready so I've stopped will maybe try again soon.

turnthebiglightoff · 03/05/2021 09:17

He's not ready. Do you know any adults who wee on the floor? It will happen. Wait til it's July / August and warm and tackle it then.

Spicymama212 · 06/05/2021 08:33

Wee on the floor used to be common for our son to but we find every time he sees on the floor he has three minutes on the naughty step and every time he goes in the potty he gets a chocolate button

Thesearmsofmine · 06/05/2021 08:40

@Spicymama212

Wee on the floor used to be common for our son to but we find every time he sees on the floor he has three minutes on the naughty step and every time he goes in the potty he gets a chocolate button

Wtf! You don’t punish a tiny child for weeing fgs.

OP your child is 1 year old, he isn’t ready to potty train, if he was ready it wouldn’t take 3 months plus. Let him wear nappies.

Rainallnight · 06/05/2021 10:21

Three minutes on the naughty step for wee on the floor?! What age is he?

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