Toddler scared to poo - please help

[ncdoddy]

Hi,

Following on from a recent thread where people on here really helped with potty training, things have been going well generally.

However, our son (2 and a half) had a bout of constipation a week or so ago and it hurt him a lot to poo.

Lactulose seems to have fixed the issue physically but he seems petrified of pooping, regardless.

This means we’re now in a daily cycle of him being in pain and getting more and more upset until he eventually can’t hold it any longer and poops in his trousers.

We’ve tried everything we can think of; rewards, cuddly toys talking to him, cuddly toys pooping, watching us pooping, videos designed for kids to learn, interactive books, comforting him, being stern with him.... absolutely nothing works.

It’s soul destroying and becoming really quite frustrating.

At this rate I don’t think we’ll fix this for months to come.

Can anyone help?

Ah this sort of thing can be so difficult OP. My DD used to be scared and it was awful. Have you had a look at the ERIC website? Absolutely brilliant advice and support on there.

Sorry, correct link here

Argh it’s so horrible I know, we went through it for months with my son except he started withholding which was even worse. My advice is to try and relax and take the pressure off. I know that’s easier said than done but you really don’t want him to start withholding. Try to remain calm, consistent, imagine you’re back at the beginning again ‘oh dear you’ve done your poo in your, poo goes in the toilet’ etc. I know it’s so hard but I think they pick up on your stress surrounding it and it can make things even harder (I say this as someone who really struggled to remain calm and breezy and is probably still reaping the consequences now two years late)

I have no advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. DS has developed a serious mental block about it too, peeing fine in the toilet but just will not poo, seems perfectly happy to fill his pants though 🙄
We've also tried everything we can think of, apparently it all just clicks on their little heads one day.
Nearly 4 months down the line and keeping it light and breezy is HARD. The washing machine is also about to hand in its notice of resignation!

Just coming through this with my son, you need this book and movicol instead Stool Withholding: What To Do... www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00PY3U0IA?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Hi OP I would really recommend putting DC in a warm bath for getting things relaxed and moving! Plenty of fluids, checking diet, try giving a small amount of prune juice or orange juice etc (sorry if you've already tried that). The Gentle Potty Training Book by Sarah Ockwell Smith covers poo fears and was an absolute lifesaver for me.

Thanks for the messages everyone and also for the links.

Our boy has definitely started resisting pooping in general - he doesn’t want to go at all and only poops in his pants when he just can’t hold on, so I think we have the withholding problem.

I’ll take a look at these links and give them a go, thank you.

Hi everyone, have found the reading material suggested on here very helpful, thank you.

I think we need to use Movicol but I’m struggling to find the right product.

All pharmacies online seem to only sell the standard product that all day not suitable for under 12s, yet there’s lots of mention online about giving Movicol to toddlers.

Is there a junior version that we can buy, does anyone know?

Thanks!

I have laxido Pediatric plain but it’s prescription only my GP was good though when I phoned and explained.

There is a Movicol paediatric but I am fairly sure it is a Prescription Only Medicine

My son was like this. He would withhold his poop as he was scared it would hurt so it ended up getting harder so when it did finally come out it did hurt 🙄. We talked about how poops don’t want to be in his tummy. They want to come out so they can go down the toilet and join their families. Their family being the previous poops he had did. We made pooping fun - Guessing how big it would be, would it be as smelly as a dog fart etc etc it worked and as he got older the poop chat slowly disappeared.

Pediatric movicol is prescription only. Just call your GP and get on it. Withholding can go on or a very long time as once things stretch internally, the child can lose the signal that they need to go. Lots of help out there, but it is wildly frustrating when you are going through it. Also, movicol tastes grim, so as long as you dissolve it in water, you can then mix with other liquids to mask the taste.

Thanks a lot everyone, that is very helpful indeed!

I can’t remember where I read it but it is a great tip for toddlers and young kids - blowing bubbles activates the same muscles needed to poop so a useful distraction when they need to use the toilet also helps them go.

This is going to sound really bizarre but it worked for my DS.
You need a glass of water and a straw. Sit your child on the potty or toilet- for some reason ours didn't like the potty- get your it our DC to blow into the water with the straw (we made a game of seeing who could blow the biggest bubbles).
It takes their mind off pooing and apparently blowing uses the some of the same muscles that are used when pooing.

Put him back in nappies and relax. I say this as someone who persisted and ended up having years of movicol. Take the stress away. When we tried again they needed privacy rather than cheerleading. Sitting them there with the iPad as a distraction worked.

Morning all,

Thanks for the bubbles tips - will keep that one for future!

The laxatives from the doctor has done the trick, less than a week after having them and with a bit of routine of sitting on the toilet, something just clicked.

Ever since he has been fantastic. Barely any accident at all. We haven’t addressed nighttime and the Covid restrictions means we’ve not seen what will happen when out all day, but it’s a really encouraging start.

The book about this was wonderful, thanks for that and all other posts to help with this. Am ever so grateful to people giving advice here, it’s helped keep me sane.