Have no idea where to start....HELP

[mumma90]

My daughter is just over 2.5 years.
I haven't started potty training yet but have bought a potty. She knows the name potty and has sat on it a few times in a play type thing...

She still wakes up with a wet nappy in the mornings. And of course does a poo in her nappy.
She does, most of the time tell me "I've done a poo"...

I'm just not sure how and when I should start potty training.

Should I buy a toddler toilet seat - not bother with the potty?

Im looking for advice from mums who have been there - how did you start?

I'm finding this part of the journey hard. It's even harder when I keep hearing that some people began potty training at 2 years old 🥴

2 years old? That's nothing. I've met a 1-year-old who's potty trained!

Following because my DS is nearly 2 1/2 and I've bought a potty but just no idea really how to start!

Hi
I understand your "not knowing where to start" as I felt this way with my second even though I had already potty-trained my first (largish age-gap).
I started by reading potty training info here: www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/babys-development/potty-training-and-bedwetting/how-to-potty-train/
(Hope the link works).

Just a few tips I found useful:

1. It helped when I took a somewhat laid-back approach - I was a bit apprehensive and not very relaxed as I just didn't know if it was going to be successful and straightforward
2. If you have an upstairs, might be useful to have one potty upstairs and one downstairs - getting used to seeing them around, and talking about them with your child helps would get your child used to the idea
3. Perhaps you want to have a few hours nappy-free time at home - there might be a few accidents, which could help your child to link the feeling to the action (if you see what I mean)
4. Once they successfully do the first few "wees" and "poos" in the potty, they then understand to link the feeling with the action
5. Does your child attend childcare? If so, do inform them you are starting potty training and they will also carry on as you do - your child would benefit from going in pants.

My child was using the potty willingly within the two weeks; however, there were a few brief periods where the idea of sitting on a potty was just not appealing - when engrossed in play mostly! So you would still need to remind them and build toilet breaks into the day - soon after meals and drinks.

I hope that helps. All the best

We followed the Oh Crap method. It did go somehow well at the begging (toddler was 2 years 4 months when we started 4 weeks ago). She was doing well in nursery too, goes there full time term time only. During Easter break, we made the mistake of shouting at her when she wet the sofa. We were not trying to tell her off, it was more a panic reaction, but she took it at heart and held her wee and poo in until nap/bedtime.

So my advice would be to try to be as gentle as possible in case you have a child as sensitive as mine!

Now that she is back in nursery, she is using the potty again.

Good luck! It is really hard!

See if you can get a second hand copy of the book "oh crap". I'd brought it and read it ready for DS we used the methods and DS who had just turned 2 was trained really quickly in less than a week during the day the night took a little longer and tbh I had expected it to take ages but he's three now and reliably dry at night.

There seem to be two basic schools of thought for how to approach potty training, so I would start by deciding which approach is going to suit your family best.

At one end of the spectrum is the 'Oh Crap' method, which others have referenced - the three day method is another variation. This is basically parent-led - you have to pick a long weekend and dedicate several days to staying home with your toddler, initially naked from the waist down, then progressing to wearing clothes once they start to make progress. You get rid of nappies on day 1 (although initially many people choose to continue with nappies for naps and overnight). The advantage of this method is that most toddlers will be trained within a week or two - you may still have the occasional accident of course. The downside is it can be stressful in the early days and you really do have to be prepared to cancel all your plans for several days and prioritise potty training. Some people don't like this method because they see it as more difficult for the child, making them take on potty training before they're truly ready. Advocates point out it used to be quite normal to potty train at younger ages and it's only due to the availability of cheap disposable nappies that many people are training later.

The opposite method is more child-led. You introduce the potty casually and encourage them to try it out - perhaps initially sitting on it with clothes on, and then progressing to sitting on it naked, celebrate if they do a wee or a poo in the potty but follow their cues and never push them. The advantage of this approach is it is gentler and more flexible (you don't have to set aside a weekend), but it is likely to take much longer before they are reliably trained and you can stop using nappies.

We used the Oh Crap method, starting at 26 months, and that worked well for us, but you'll get plenty of people advocating the other approach.

I found it really stressful potty training my first child and I couldn't understand all these mums who were saying their child potty trained at 2 and it was easy. I tried when she was 2 and a half and it was a disaster, she went hysterical at the mention of even trying to sit on the potty. Left it a couple of months and tried again, not quite so hysterical that time but still not getting anywhere and had to abandon that attempt too. Then when she was 3 years and 2 months we gave it another go, and she just got it really quickly and that was it.

My son is only a year younger and I couldn't face trying to potty train again so soon. So around the time of his 3rd birthday we gave it a go and he took to it immediately and it was so easy! That was when I understood what all those other mums had experienced!

So I guess I would say that every child is definitely different. If they're not getting it then I would just leave it for a while before trying again, they do all get there eventually.

Hey, @mumma90. This is all good advice above, lots of it didn't work with us as DS1 is on the spectrum and was very difficult at first, so I just wanted to share something that did work - some people might find it odd I guess, but here it is:

When I expected my DS to need to go to the toilet (I timed how long after having a drink it took for him to go), I'd sat him on the potty, planted myself next to him with loads of books and engaged with him for up to half an hour at times, making sure he stayed sat on the potty, until he did a wee. Then of course, we made a big deal out of it, lots of hugs and praise etc. Yes, it was time-consuming and I really had to make it fun for him (and it had to be done in the summer so it was warm enough) but it seemed to have done the trick.

We did it enough times until it became habitual and then he started asking to go himself. And then I didn't even remember how we progressed to using the toilet, it was just so easy, once he learnt to do it somewhere else other than a nappy :-)