Potty training help please!!

[Cindy87]

Just finished day 4 - son is 2.5 years old.

He will sit on the potty. Can get him on there for 10, 20 minutes, no problem. He will not wee in the bloody thing. He will hold it for hours if necessary, until the point it is so uncomfortable he cries. Then he wees on the floor.

We have managed to "catch" it a few times, so we get the end of the wee in there and then we clap, and he loves to take it to the toilet, tip it in, flush it and wash his hands.

However, we haven't managed to even catch one since day 2. It's like he waits until the rare occasion I am too far from him to get there quick enough and then relaxes enough to let it out.

We have been trying to get him to go for 2 hours. He was clearly desperate. Gave up and put him in the bath - he goes.

If it sounds like I am being too intense, you're right. I also have a 4.5 year old - I am off this week but partner isn't so have been on my own with both since yesterday.

What's the next step?

Thanks for reading this far.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had the joy of PT

But my advice would be to bin it for now and revisit in a month or 2 as he doesn’t seem ready

It’s just a long drawn out faff otherwise (iirc!)

I have no advice but am in almost exactly the same boat with my DD who is almost 3, except she also hides to poo! Watching with the hopes a wise sage will come along and have the answers that are totally alluding me!

2.5 still young as well (tho I was never a Boot Camp PTer)

I would stop and wait a while too. I know it's frustrating but we tried with dd around 2.5 and had the same kind of issues as you. Waited 2 months and one day she announced she needed to pee and that was it. I think the more you stress yourself the harder it is.

One thing that sticks with me is one mum who put on Facebook that the first lockdown had been fantastic for potty training, she had managed to potty train her ds perfectly and he was doing so well with no accidents. This was around June.
I met her in Sainsbury's at Christmas and she was nearly crying telling me how stressed she was because he wouldn't potty train.

Don't believe everyone's perfect potty training stories.

I had the same thing with my DD and our child minder suggested we put her back in nappies because she was getting really worked up. She finally overcame this on our 4th attempt at potty training when she was almost 3 years old. Is it your first try at potty training?

I'd be tempted to put him back in nappies for a few weeks and try again, maybe he's not ready and hopefully next time will be better

Two things that might help:

He watches you wee on the potty (Knees allowing!!) to demonstrate that’s where wee goes and it’s fine

You line the potty with a nappy as a half way between weeing in potty and weeing in nappy

But yes in general my view on potty training is don’t push it, if after 3 days there isn’t progress then stop and try again in another few months.

Have a look at the "oh crap" potty training book/ method, it's fab!

Maybe you're all right. Could give it a go Easter bank holiday weekend when we're all off work. It just feels such a waste of 4 days and he was making such good progress but I just feel so frazzled. My poor daughter is being ignored and snapped at and I just really wanted a nice half term break. Instead I am just becoming an absolute dragon.

Also I read Oh Crap and it says the ideal time is 20-30 months. He is 30 months. This makes me nervous to stop, but equally, it's just one person's opinion I guess.

Thanks all for your comments.

@Emelene

Have a look at the "oh crap" potty training book/ method, it's fab!

Read it from cover to cover and that's the method we are using. Still no joy sadly 😕

@minipie

Two things that might help:

He watches you wee on the potty (Knees allowing!!) to demonstrate that’s where wee goes and it’s fine

You line the potty with a nappy as a half way between weeing in potty and weeing in nappy

But yes in general my view on potty training is don’t push it, if after 3 days there isn’t progress then stop and try again in another few months.

I've tried the first one. Lining the potty with a nappy I haven't heard before - could give that a go, thank you.

@Starlive23

I have no advice but am in almost exactly the same boat with my DD who is almost 3, except she also hides to poo! Watching with the hopes a wise sage will come along and have the answers that are totally alluding me!

Sending solidarity 🙏

I’ve PT dc

The 2 that were 2.10/11m were the ones that ‘got it’ by day 3 with only the very occasional accidents from then on

He doesn't sound ready, like others have said I would revisit it, there's no rush!

My DD had just turned 2 years old when we tried and she got it after 2 days so I guess she was just ready, my niece on the other hand was almost 4 so they are all ready at other times.

With my daughter, I tried before she was 2 and when I was heavily pregnant and it was a disaster. Tried again at 2.5 and it was fine and she got it pretty quick. So I thought 2.5 would be the right time this time. Maybe I just need a trial run myself to get it right second time! I do think the problem is more me than him.

I had the similar panic when I read the book. Did my dd at 2y10months and she was done in a week. Doing my DS now at 2y8m and he’s finally got the hang of it after a week. I’d say wait a bit- 2 and a half is still quite little.

We've just finished day 5, and actually a vast improvement to day 4. Still very frustrating, but we are definitely getting somewhere. I'd keep going, just in case you get a breakthrough!

@Elpheba

I had the similar panic when I read the book. Did my dd at 2y10months and she was done in a week. Doing my DS now at 2y8m and he’s finally got the hang of it after a week. I’d say wait a bit- 2 and a half is still quite little.

This is why I hate any kind of parenting book. I take it as gospel and its really just the opinion of one person who has never met you or your child.

@babsnet

We've just finished day 5, and actually a vast improvement to day 4. Still very frustrating, but we are definitely getting somewhere. I'd keep going, just in case you get a breakthrough!

Thanks, we have decided to give it today with a totally hands off approach, potty in view but no pressure. Lots of fun activities planned. Then we'll decide whether to carry on or re-nappy until Easter.

Wait! Dd was 2yr10 months and was trained in 3 days and not a single accident since.

Is he at nursery? Because they honestly did most of it with Dd, they’re so much better placed to train because they’ve done it so many times before. Worth the extortionate fees every month just for that

@Ostryga

Wait! Dd was 2yr10 months and was trained in 3 days and not a single accident since.

Is he at nursery? Because they honestly did most of it with Dd, they’re so much better placed to train because they’ve done it so many times before. Worth the extortionate fees every month just for that

He is with a childminder but only 2 days a week, then with my parents 2 days a week. He starts pre-school in September but he'll have just turned 3 so I'd hope he's done by then. I think you're right and we should go another couple of months x