Help please - how to get my child to poo on potty

[Tinks15]

Desperate for advice please...

Potty training DD who 30 months for the past week she’s been doing wee’s no problem & doing so well bless her but she just won’t poo. It’s stressing me out.

She desperately needs to go as she holds her bottom but when she sits down down to poo to it’s like she’s scared & jumps back up & she’ll say “don’t need go now”.
She’ll then say pretty much every 2 mins she needs to go then we’ll repeat the above over & over again under the urge to go passes. Now because she hasn’t been she’s getting constipated & she’s so uncomfortable!

I’ve tried everything all the little tips etc, even offering to put a nappy on so she can go. I can’t stand her being so uncomfortable poor little thing. I’ve googled lots but everything on there is telling me stuff I’m already doing.

I briefly remember my oldest DD being a bit like this a little but not as bad & I don’t remember what we did to overcome the pooing on the potty.

Any tips or advice please I’m desperate!

Stop potty training. If her constipation gets bad, it can be very difficult to mend.

Neither of mine trained until they had just turned three...try then.

Say you'll give her a jelly baby/chocolate button/whatever motivates her if she does a poo on the potty.

@zafferana yes I’ve tried this, it makes no difference.

@FortunesFave thanks as in let her go back to wearing a nappy full time for wee’s etc

Yes. Just press rewind and let her forget all about it for a while.

I thought that would confuse her after doing so well with her wee’s

I would suggest stopping for a while too.

She won't get confused but it will take the pressure off and allow her to poo and get back onto a regular pattern with that.

You'd probably only need to stop for a week or two.

When you try next, I found having a 2-3 min video that they liked ready. I'd play it for DS and that got him to stay on the potty and distract him. Very good for the sensation of doing a poo.

Gradually he didn't need that video.

She's only little...she won't get confused. They forget so quickly.

I’ve tried putting a nappy on her this morning as I know she needs to go & she’s screamed & cried & won’t wear one.

People many different views, health visitor reckons I shouldn’t stop & go back to nappies on her full time as that’s going to confuse. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Potty training is so stressful!

Have you tried on the toilet instead? My dd hated pooing in the potty when we were training but would do on the toilet. Also in the first week dd just did her poos in her nappy that she wore for naps (we did night time training a few weeks later) have you tried saying that to her

I wouldn't advise going back into nappies as you have done so well with wees.

I agree with going straight for the toilet, my DS refused to go near a potty for poos or wees. We bought a seat and off he went

You need to stay calm as well! If you are acting stressed she will pick up on it.

Also agree with the toilet. We never even had a potty, never bothered with it. Went straight on the toilet. We got a toilet seat with a child seat attached so it was easy for him.

Said before but I’ll say it again here. It’s more common than you think.

I have a friend who has a similar problem to this. She has a three year old DD who is nearly 4 and in her last year of nursery.

She is tall for her age and looks older. She is also articulate and speaks very clearly.

I had a socially distanced meet in a cafe recently and she brought her DD with her.

Her DD actually ANNOUNCED that she was going to poo and went off into a corner to squat down and poo (presumably in a nappy or pull-up). It was a bizarre sight to see, I can tell you.

She then returned to our table and (in her
most confident and grown-up sounding voice) told my (now embarrassed-looking) friend that she needed changing!

My friend told me that her DD had no problem with wees and is even dry at night but will just not poo on a potty or toilet and she has yet to find a solution.

All I could muster was to suggest a GP visit. I asked her if she had spoken to her DD about it but her DD refuses to discuss it, so she’s not getting anywhere.

My DD’s and I all had wee issues when small, probably attributable to black current juice, but potty refusal for poos is a new one.

I will refer my friend to these threads in case anything here helps.

I suppose the point I’m trying to make is that it’s more common that you would think.

My DS did exactly the same thing, we tried a few different things and I’m not sure what worked to be honest but it only lasted a couple of weeks. We gave him a little prune juice to get things moving and make sure he wasn’t constipated. We also tried encouraging the toilet with trainer seat, and we tried distracting him whilst on the potty with books or tv. Also just keeping calm and consistent in how you approach it. We also found that a warm bath seemed to help him go so we would give him a bath and then either get him out onto the potty when he needed to poo or a few times actually put the potty in the bath for him to sit on! Like I say after a couple of weeks he was fine and now poops on either the potty or toilet no problem.
I know another family with a similar issue and they got lactulose from the GP, and just being more regular seemed to help their son get used to the potty.

She isn’t doing well with her training though if she can’t poo. I agree about going back to nappies although it can be difficult if they don’t want to. Lots of children who are trained too early end you needing movicol or medication from the doctor and can be on it for years.

You could get some bubble mixture for her to blow whilst sat on the potty or toilet as it relaxes the bowel.

Thanks everyone.

I’ll maybe try the trainer seat again, when I managed it before she didn’t want to know.

Also the problem is she now won’t wear a nappy I put one on & she starts to yank it off & cries “no”, I’ve tried explaining it’s ok to go poo in her nappy but she won’t have any of it. So now what do I do? Just let her cry & keep the nappy on & let her come round in her own time 🤷🏻‍♀️.

She did actually managed a little one on the potty just before lunch not quite sure how she managed it but she did. I think she was that desperate it just pretty much fell out. She was so shocked but so pleased with herself. But she now needs to go again this evening & she won’t even entertain it again now.

It’s horrible seeing her like this being so uncomfortable

Sorry you're struggling, it's tough. We didn't have this but I found the book Oh Crap Potty Training v v helpful and she talks about poo phobias ...

My little one was scared of his own poo, to the point of screaming and shaking when he saw it. A friend gave us a book called 'Softy the Poop' and it seemed to have worked for him.

The book is aimed at children and talkes about how Softy wants to come out to play on his water slide every day

How many has she not pooped? It may be painful to push out. If so maybe you should give GP a call, she may need some mild laxatives

Hi, did this ever resolve??? If so, how???
I'm going through the same x