3yo multiple daily accidents- please help!

[turtletum]

I'm running out of ideas and need some help (or a hand hold).

My boy started potty training just after turning 2yo. Followed the oh crap book at the weekend, he took to it well then went straight into the potty training week they run at nursery several times a year. Was great for about 2 months, then would have maybe one accident a day (didn't want to stop eating/ playing so left it too late).

This became the baseline. All poos no problem, but usually at least one wee accident a day. Nursery and I have now tried every trick, reward, funky potty, toilet step, praise, ignoring accidents, etc that we can think of.
During the March lockdown (aged 2.5), he regressed further. He struggled with lockdown and also became a big brother, so I can understand the regression.

However, he's not really recovered since then. Some days are better than others but he now will usually have 2 or 3 wee accidents a day (aged 3.3y). Usually he just leaves it too late to go but sometimes he makes the choice to not go and will have a big accident while eating his dinner, for example.

Nursery will put him in a pull up if they have 3 accidents in a day. Once in a pull up, he doesn't bother going to the toilet, just wets the nappy. I'm reluctant to go back to nappies as he'll then just stop using the potty at all.

I'm at my wits end. The other day, we were walking home from nursery and he just wet himself. Didn't even try to hold it in or tell me he needed to go. This was minutes after leaving nursery, where they always offer the toilet before handing over the child.

I'm fed up of the emotional strain and the extra laundry. I've seen the GP to rule out infections. I'm now wondering if it could be behavioural, such as ADHD? He is a ball of energy from wake up to bed time. Or am I just over thinking?

Sorry for the essay.
Any thoughts???

Didn't want to read and run, though I can't offer any great wisdom! He sounds very similar to my DD (right down to age, lockdown regression and becoming a big sister!) We seem to be starting to get there again but still more accidents than before lockdown! But I suspect a lot of kids have been more affected by lockdown etc than they can vocalise- I would keep persevering for now - we are using a reward chart still which helps a bit.

My son is 3y9m and still has either no accidents, or 2 accidents a day, every day. It drives me up the wall!

We can go 2-3 days with no accidents then bam, 3 in a day. Either full wee's, little dribbles or large dribbles. Combined with refusing to hold his penis my life is spent cleaning up pee.

Unfortunately I have no advice. But you are not alone.

Oh, I do have some advice, we demand that he wee's and washes hands before dinner, otherwise he often pee's during dinner, and although I don't know if it's right to march him to the toilet even when he says he doesn't need a wee (according to him he never needs a wee), it does stop the dinner time accidents.

Hi OP- some observations (appreciate its a month after your post so you may have cracked this),

1- nursery should not be resorting to a pull up, it’s a mixed message and will not help the situation. I’d be speaking with them.
2- don’t ask your son if he needs the loo, keep taking him to the loo. Before you leave the house, when you return etc just take him to the loo. Then also remind him to let you know but you should start to get an idea of how long he can hold it for.
3 - with training boys many of my friends just skipped the potty and went straight to the loo and the boys preferred it
4- if still not working you may need to start from the beginning of the oh crap method all over again.