How to potty train a withholder?

[nadaley]

My DD will be three in February. For the past few months she’s been able to tell me when she needs a nappy change after a poo but doesn’t flinch at all with a wet nappy. She’s actually been asking to go to the toilet and successfully using it for wees at her day nursery (although she’s not consistently asking to go every time) but she will not entertain sitting on the toilet or potty at home.

At the beginning of the year, my daughter stood up in the bath and then did a poo and began withholding bowel movements as a result. In the past few months we’ve had to get Movicol from the GP to help her to go so I imagine this isn’t helping her interest in learning but I was wondering if anyone else had had a similar experience and if they had some tips to share as I’m aware that we should be trying to get toilet training under our belts before she needs to start school nursery.

My son had awful bowel issues and withheld. He's still on movicol now at age 6. We simply waited it out and kept on rewarding any signs of communicating poos, his pre-school were hugely supportive in letting him go at his own Pace and just before he started school nursery aged 4 he was able to go normally. I'd say take the pressure off, I'd guess she needs to feel like it's not even on the radar in order to help her relax. I know it's very worrying and can be frustrating but she will get there when the time is right for her. My nephew started school unable to use the toilet due to bowel complications, and it was fine so even if she takes longer there is support there. There's a Facebook group called Movicol Mummies which has some useful info. Watch the Poo Nurses on YouTube (I think that's their name!) Contact ERIC and push your GP for a referral to the Continence clinic if you do end up needing proper official support, although they wouldn't do this for us until he'd already turned 5.

Thank you for your supportive reply. My eldest child was about 3.5 by the time he was fully potty trained so I wouldn’t be surprised if she followed suit even aside from the withholding. I think I just expected that I’d be able to have a better grasp on potty training second time around but that doesn’t take into account them being individuals 🤣

My daughter is 2 and a half and is also on Movicol after withholding. I called the ERIC helpline and they were supremely helpful they suggested letting her sit on a potty for 10 mins after each poo nappy change and blow on sometjing (she has a harmonica for this purpose and doesn’t get to play with it otherwise) bubbles would work too. Slowly slowly she’s starting to relax into it and obviously if there ever is any pooping into the potty she gets super praise and cheers etc.
It’s so hard but they did say potty training alongside the Movicol would be the best move for her long term so crossing my fingers it works

Thank you @KTD27. I think I’ll seek some advice too. Good luck with everything with your daughter (and with your son @puppygalore)