Aaaargh!!! DD will NOT sit on potty.....

[knickerelasticjones]

I know this is really inappropriate but I am so angry with my DD1. (I am a bad mummy to have such feelings...) We've just started trying to potty train her - she is 2yrs 8 months. Lots of excitment about big girl pants this morning, chose the colour etc etc and things seem to be going well.

She has a tiny pee on the floor then stops, runs and sits on the potty and finishes off (with a huge wee). Tons of congratulations etc - even gave her chocolate buttons (4 of them) for the first time EVER as a present / incentive to do it again. So I'm pretty sure she a) knows what to do and b) has SOME degree of bladder control.

But she has the attention span of a gnat.... She sat on the potty 2 or 3 times again this morning and nothing happens - that's fine, I say, lets try later. But since then she has just refused to sit on the potty or loo. She has peed three times in her pants - each time I've been really positive, just cleaned her up without fuss. But she WILL NOT sit on the potty. So what do I do?

I know the obvious answer is probably "she's not ready, just wait" but the thing is I think she's not using the potty as she basically can't be arsed. She's not distressed when she wees herself - she doesn't give a monkeys! SHe doesn't care about having wet pants (she uses cloth nappies so it feels the same to her) so she may as well just pee all over the place and expect me to clean it up.

Oh Lord, I've rambled on....

I know I'm probably expecting too much - but what do I do???

Please help lovely MNers...

forget about the potty....try the toilet as she prob feels more 'grown up'!.

Have you tried putting her on the 'real' toilet?

You could also try getting some fancy tissues for wiping her bottom with so she feels special (although that could prove expensive) and a bit of peer pressure - has she any friends that are already trained? Invite them round for tea!

• role play, get her to make her dolls /dinosaurs do it

- have the potty where she is playing - bring a small chair/table so she can sit on the potty and play with her toys at the same time - make a big deal of when you go. I have to stop myself at work going "quick quick mummy needs to do a pee now, quick quick" - don't tell her to go but gently hint

The only other thing I would say is, if it's getting you this stressed then leave it for a bit and make a big deal about putting the 'big girl knickers' back in the drawer as 'she's not ready yet' but never with any cross faces! - it depends what motivates your child as they're all different, my youngest dd just hated the potty and much preferred suspending herself over the toilet.

PMSL at Witch and chips in power suit 'needing to go'!

when i first started to potty train my DD..i used to used her dolly and her little potty, i made sounds effects that she was actually having a wee or poo! my DD used to be fascinated!

She point blank at the potty..didnt want to know but as soon i put her on the toilet...she did it.

I actually gave buttons just for sitting on the potty during the first 3 days of potty training! 1 button for sitting on potty - 3 if she had a wee! This worked for my DD (who was then 2.9ish). After 3 or 4 days she started to get the hang of it and no longer needed a bribe (just lots of praise and stickers etc...).

So don't worry you won't give her a chocolate habit if you need to bribe into just sitting...

She was basically potty trained after a few weeks (lots of accidents 1st week but just persevere). she was also dry at night a month later.

thanks so much - know exactly what you mean witchandchips, have done pretty much the same myself at work .

Unfortunatley she refused to go on the loo either so that's not a goer. Good idea about the friends Wisteria but unfortunately ALL her good friends are toilet trained (most are around 3) and this STILL doesn't seem to be an incentive for her.

I think the problem is she KNOWS I want her to do this so she's deliberately not doing it just to bug me.

I should add that I've also got a 10 week DD2. Am I just trying too soon after having a second baby?

Mrs Bond I tried giving her FOUR buttons for just sitting but she wasn't having any of it. Just said "I don't want to sit on the potty" and ran away laughing.

aargh!

i tell what really worked for me was the books that i got for my DD - "I WANT MY POTTY!" and another one was about a baby bear adn mummy bear

DH works in the book trade so we have about half a dozen books about using the potty which she has been reading for over a year. Perhaps its just a case of overkill....

Feel I am not coming across as the worlds greatest mother in this thread (which would be just about right today....)

You know, I think you should just leave it for a while.

It is stressing you out and it's beginning a power struggle between you and her. I have a hunch that she is perfectly capable but maybe seeing it as a bit of a game and a way of getting your attention away from new baby ??

If you turn the tables on her and just ignore the whole thing for a bit then she may surprise you and just get on the potty with no encouragement at all.

Either way it's not worth getting het up about; you have a new baby so need all your energy for that and looking after your dd xx

yes best to leave it for a bit or otherwise you wont get anywhere

Wisteria I think you've hit the nail on the head. I could actually see how it was becoming a power struggle today. And DD1 was much more difficult whenever DD2 was crying or feeding.

Think it might be best to put it on hold for a while... will see what DD1 is like tomorrow morning.

In the meantime - I guess I'd better start mopping up

thanks all!