Potty Training At 4! Help!!

[hutchmarc]

Hi, we are really struggling to potty train our son (3.11) and wanted to see if anyone had any advice or experience of a similar situation.

My son's potty training development started quite well and around the age of 2¾ we felt he was ready to switch to only wearing nappies at night. Things started ok but then we took him out of nursery for a month (i was working overseas and my parter and son accompanied me) and since then, we haven't really progressed at all.

The week typically involves 2 or 3 days when he stays dry, a couple where he might have a little accident or dribble and one where it'll all go to pot and he might have a couple of accidents. Nursery helps the best they can reminding him etc. I'm not sure he'd stay dry without reminders.

We don't really know what to do with him or what to try next?

He has a potty and a toddler toilet seat thing. We have made a chart, he has special pants, we have tried to bribe him with an extra book at night if he makes it through to day dry etc.

We just can't seem to get through to him and he doesn't seem to care that he's wet or damp.

I don't think it's down to nervousness or anxiety (but who know), i don't think it's the fact he get's too engrossed in what he does and can't drag himself away (although this likely plays some part).

He doesn't seem to attempt to hold it in or even attempt to make it to the potty. I don't see him sat there squirming and wiggling or giving the typical 'i need a pee' signs. It just feels like when he thinks 'i need to go', he goes. He also doesn't like it when we tell him to go. He's too independent for that.

I should also mention that he recently got a sister but these issues have been around before she was even a prominent bump in her mother's tummy. I'm not convinced she is the reason but again, it could be involved.

Also, he always goes to the toilet when he needs a poo. He's great on this front.

Any advice welcome! Perhaps it was too early when we initially tried but all signs suggested he was ready. Should we go back to nappies to see if that has an affect?

How often dies have accidents in a day?

My son is also like this the only difference is 90% he says he needs to wee and go to the toilet. Surprisingly no problem with 💩. Its that 10% he seems completely oblivious (like he says ye doesnt need to go, protests then 5 min later his pants are wet.

I think for them to be reliably dry all the time they need to be a bit older?

I honestly have no suggestions but just saying you are not alone. I am so tired of having "the chat" but its the only thing he needs he knows what to do.

Stick with pants and take him to the toilet regularly, bypass the potty and get him peeing standing up.
I dont think hes doing too badly , just dress him in joggers that are easy for him to pull down .
You will probably have a lot of laundry but you will get there !
I've heard you should avoid ribena and blackcurrant as this can irritate the bladder ( it does for me!)

Thanks for your replies Peanut and Dontforget. I know we'll get there it's just a little frustrating that we've been at this stage for so long without any signs of progression. Glad we're not alone.

Definitely not alone! DS is 3 and we aren't getting anywhere. It was so much easier with his sister, trained at 2.10, and no accidents since! We're trying again but he just isn't getting it, he'll wee on the loo when we take him but shows no sign of realising he needs it. Hate it when people say 'look out for the pee dance- neither of mine ever did that!

Your DS sounds so similar to mine, especially the independent thing!

Glad to know I'm not alone. But after having read threads on here, very worried about how long it will take...