2y old boy, in slow potty training since 8 months, how to officially train?

[boyohboymama]

My boy just turned 2 years old. We have a bit of a unique situation with potty training I think because we've been doing it for almost a year and a half!
We first introduced him to the potty at around 8 months old and we all thought it was amazing that he would poop and pee pretty much every time we put him on the potty...We still kept him in a diaper for the remainder of the time. Currently convincing him that he has to go sit on the potty is getting harder as he is havingtypical "terrible 2s" temper tantrums and refusing to comply. He has never officially told us that he needs to use the potty but if you can convince him to sit he will usually go.

We have tried to officially get rid of diapers the last few months but he is not understanding that when he feels full he must go to the potty - he will just pee in his pants or even on the floor if you leave him naked, at which point he tells us that he has peed and we clean it up.

I am looking for advice as to how to move to the next step - to have him understand when he needs to pee before he pees. How do you teach this? Does it come on its own? Should we forget about the potty all together for a while and then reintroduce it at a later time again?

I feel like because "potty training" has been dragging for so long he will have a harder time actually being potty trained than a regular boy who is following a more traditional quick potty training process. Help?

8 months why? There are signs when the are ready if they can do some of the following, can hold it for about an hour, show interest in potty, can communicate when they want to go.

I know people who introduced the potty very early too. I dont know how they got on tbh. I know for me I waited until my DC were ready. I didnt use a potty as I couldnt be bothered training on a potty to then move to the toilet. Maybe as you have been using a potty for so long you may want to think about getting a step and inner seat for the loo so it triggers his interest.

Yes, as a mother of 2 with kids who are way beyond potty training age I am clearly inexperienced. But whatever, surely there is only one acceptable way of doing things 🤷‍♀️

Hes not too young as a rule, mine was 21 months and dry of a night 3 weeks later.

Buy the book oh crap, its brilliant.

Waiting until hes ready normally translates as wait until parent can be bothered to try

Ignore everyone who's saying it's too early. Majority if people on here don't know anything about infant toileting.

Really? Why don't you educate us all. Let us in on the knowledge, since you must have it.

Honestly OP, its not your child who has learned how to use the potty, you have learned to recognise when he needs and you've been sticking him on a potty. He's not ready so you should wait. Its probably confused him having a potty to do the toilet in AND doing it in nappies.

@CarrotPuff

Ignore everyone who's saying it's too early. Majority if people on here don't know anything about infant toileting.

Looks like he's made some great progress. I really wouldn't rush with taking nappies away. Just try to get him to use potty as regularly as you can and eventually you'll notice he's pretty much dry all day. You can try putting him in loose joggers without pants on, sometimes it works. But if it doesn't just take a step back.

You've literally just advised the same as everyone else that you're apparently disagreeing with.

Weird.

I'd stop for 6 months and try again but not with a potty. With a step and seat on the loo, or one of those kiddie urinals. Maybe keep the potty in the car for emergencies while you're out and about instead. A fresh start and a new aids will hopefully do the trick. And perhaps a reward sticker chart for pee/poop/washing hands. I had a Velcro one with laminated stars my daughter just stuck on. Good luck.

@CarrotPuff

Ignore everyone who's saying it's too early. Majority if people on here don't know anything about infant toileting.

Looks like he's made some great progress. I really wouldn't rush with taking nappies away. Just try to get him to use potty as regularly as you can and eventually you'll notice he's pretty much dry all day. You can try putting him in loose joggers without pants on, sometimes it works. But if it doesn't just take a step back.

We're all parents - most of us have probably been through this multiple times. Everyone is saying this is too early. If a child cannot recognise the signs of needing to go and get themselves to a potty or let an adult know that they need to go then they are not ready. It's common sense.

This thread makes me really uncomfortable! 8months......can I ask why?what is your thought process around this as I'm genuinely interested.

He isn't not doing it because he's having 'temper tantrums' he is probably being defiant because your asking him repeatedly to do something he is not able to do physically, emotionally or psychologically. Just forget about it for 6months, then try again in his own time. We don't get worried if our children are not walking by the time they are 6months old, nor do we seek help in getting them to do so as they are not ready for this skill.
Typically anywhere from 2.5 to just over 3 is an age whereby they are ready in all aspects to master this.

You need to wait until he's ready and he's clearly not ready. If potty training takes longer than a week, you are doing it at the wrong time.

I also genuinely don't understand people who potty train their children before their children can actually dress themselves. What is the point?!

Thank you all for your thoughts.

To answer those who asked “Why so early?”
Because there have been major benefits - I have only cleaned 2 poopey diapers since he was 8 months old! He has literally only ever pooped on the potty since. Which has been amazing as it takes 2 sec to clean up. I just don’t know how people clean up poop from toddlers who dont sit still for longer than 1 sec.

We’ll definitely go back to diapers on the whole time and try again in a few months.

Hold on hold on hold on.

This makes absolutely NO SENSE. Are you suggesting that at 8 months old he was able to articulate to you that he needed to do a poo and therefore you needed to get the potty? And if you were out and about at 8 months old, he held it long enough for you to be able to get to the potty for him to do a poo?

Am I missing something here??????????????????????????????

It reminds me of a scene in orange is the new black where Pipers brother and wife are trying to do the same with a tiny baby

The issue is that he doesn't realise potty is something to accomplish, it's just something he can do sometimes as that's the way it's always been.

Go back to it in 6 months and do it over 3 days with treats and rewards through. He'll
Nail it. It's effort for you but it works.

I actually feel very uncomfortable with getting an 8 month old to poo on a potty, esp as OP states it was for her own benefit so as not to deal with pooey nappies 😕

I think you've managed to really mix up his own natural cues tbh.

The usual way it will work is as they approach the right time for TT, they start to have natural cues around the sensation of a wet / dirty nappy (especially dirty nappy).

The right time to start, as per PPs, is when they have language to express when they need the toilet & can understand what you're asking them, can pull down clothes / underwear & show an interest.

This varies in every child.

I have 3 children & they were TT just after their 2nd birthday. That just worked for them, and with all the cues suggested above. It was done & dusted in a week or so, with some accidents after that but not many. They were also in a creche at that time & that really helped as they just did what all the other children did.

It's such a shame that you've tried to force this natural or

Posted too soon. Last bit should be:

It's such a shame you've forced this natural process. And that you found changing an 8 month old baby's nappies an impossible chore.

Go back to nappy wearing, I guess, and take a complete break & reintroduce in 6 months or so.

Leave his nappies on for a month. Look for three stages, first he'll tell you after. Then he'll tell you during. Then he'll tell you before. You reward and be happy for each step. So if he tells you after he's peed (presumably up to this point on the floor?) You expressed happiness? The point is that he told you. We know he will be ready because he's already doing stage 1. Readiness to introduce back the potty is around the time he moves closer to telling you during. 8 months is probably too early - this is when you wanted to do it. Listening to when he tells you he peed/poos means you are waiting for him to tell you he's ready

What OP is doing here is Elimination communication, which is an entirely different method to "traditional" potty training. By the look at all the comments saying its too way too early, and from personal experience, the majority of people in UK have never heard about it, hence my comment. I was merely stating the fact, there's no need to get all personal or defensive about it.

It relies on reading baby's cues when they need to go to toilet and providing potty/toilet for them to do that. You can start from newborn although I started from when they could sit up confidently, so around 7-8 months, like OP. Like OP, I can count on one hand how many pooey nappies I've changed beyond about 10 months. Everyone too thought I was bonkers but when my DS started asking for a potty from about 14 months those comments seemed to have stopped. I also didn't have to do any potty training where you stay at home for a week or whatever the time frame because it was all a gradual process of them wetting less and less nappies, being dryer, then trying them in pants and realising, that actually, you're done. Both done before they were 2.

@CarrotPuff

What OP is doing here is Elimination communication, which is an entirely different method to "traditional" potty training. By the look at all the comments saying its too way too early, and from personal experience, the majority of people in UK have never heard about it, hence my comment. I was merely stating the fact, there's no need to get all personal or defensive about it.

It relies on reading baby's cues when they need to go to toilet and providing potty/toilet for them to do that. You can start from newborn although I started from when they could sit up confidently, so around 7-8 months, like OP. Like OP, I can count on one hand how many pooey nappies I've changed beyond about 10 months. Everyone too thought I was bonkers but when my DS started asking for a potty from about 14 months those comments seemed to have stopped. I also didn't have to do any potty training where you stay at home for a week or whatever the time frame because it was all a gradual process of them wetting less and less nappies, being dryer, then trying them in pants and realising, that actually, you're done. Both done before they were 2.

That's fantastic that it worked for you, brilliant in fact.

But quite clearly it doesn't take a genius to figure out that whatever method OP is using isn't working now,

But quite clearly it doesn't take a genius to figure out that whatever method OP is using isn't working now,

Absolutely.

I don't get why anyone would do the 'elimination' approach? I remember in Ceausescu's Romania this approach was used as the country was so poverty-stricken there were no / few nappies

When a child is ready, TT is usually not a difficult process (I know that's not always the case tho).

Changing a baby's nappy is another opportunity for bonding. I think it's really quite a harsh thing to do to a small baby & not sure why it was the subject of such celebration Carrot when your 14mo could use a potty 🤷🏻‍♀️

I started with a potty when my daughter was nearly18 months, but only because she had showed interest in her cousin doing it and wanted to try too. Very quickly, she never did a poo in the nappy again and was able to tell me that she needed one. Wees we just took it easy - she would try a couple of times a day on her own (liked the praise!) and I would put her on it in the early evening in front of CBeebies for 5 minutes before she watched TV and I cooked her dinner. By 2 months in, she was pretty much dry in between and I could take her out and about without a nappy no stress and wanted to wear pants like her cousin. Has been dry at night since 2. Can count on one hand the number of accidents we have had. I don't think it is necessarily cruel to start earlier than the 2.5-3 you get on here, but the key is to follow the child. If they are interested and have good language skills, then it is much easier to crack it fully.

I don't think there is anything wrong with rewarding practising in the meantime. I don't think this messes you up physically - that is rubbish and I know lots of people who have done EC successfully with kids that are happy (and a few that tried Oh Crap too early, stressed their kids out and they had withholding issues).

Some people try the Oh crap method and expect it to be done in about 3 days and wonder why they and their children are feeling stressed - it is possible to put lots of pressure on that method too.

Try to take the pressure off. I know you are fed up OP. But he is doing really well - he can and will poo on the potty. Great!! He will get the wees.

Ignore everyone who's saying it's too early. Majority if people on here don't know anything about infant toileting

What are your qualifications and training in infant toileting, @CarrotPuff ?

Enlighten us as to why o/p should listen to your dismissal of many mothers with collective years of experience, in favour of your wisdom.

I’m sure people can get a baby used to a potty, I just don’t know why anyone would want to- such a lot of faff imo