Child doesn't know they need to go to the loo

[doesmyhousesmellofwee]

Hi, my son is 3.5 and we keep trying to potty train every few months. He’s keen and articulate and he says he wants to use the “big boy toilet” I’ve read books, read him books etc etc but when we try it’s always the same problem, he doesn’t know when he needs to go, for wees or poos, until after it’s happened.

It almost seems like nappies are so good now that using them means he hasn’t associated the “need to toilet” sensation with it happening

Any ideas or suggestions? The books I have read don’t seem to cover "not knowing". Do we just let him taking him every half hour then let him have accidents till he gets it or go back to nappies (then I fear he never will make the link)? He often sits on the loo then wees on the floor a few minutes later We do wee dances to see etc but this hasn't helped

Everyone said wait till he’s ready but he is ready and keen he just doesn’t know till it’s too late.

Nursery have been rubbish with advice and rarely remind him (and he’s already said he’s embarrassed about accidents at nursery due to how the other children react

How do I help him learn "the signs"? He's already 3.5 and has no other delays/concerns

Hi, maybe a potty watch will help?

My DS is a stubborn boy always in denial of going to the toilet.. he knows what to do he just cant be bothered or probably pikes to be in control.

Anyway i found this potty watch on amazon. its really cute bright green watch but basically a timer that you can set. The monkeys eyes glow and softly sing "time to go potty!" So he loves it.. wears it around shows it to everyone. I think its working for him, he still gas one accident a day but its a massive improvement.

Following. Ds is 2.5 and hasn't needed a nappy for poo for about a month so we started using toilet for wee on Saturday- mixed results, he doesn't seem to know when he needs to go but does when he's going. We only had one accident a day for a few days but he's had 3 today.

Have you let him spend a lot of time in pants or naked to try and understand the urge? I think given his age I would just take him regularly to the toilet or potty and not worry about accidents.

The brain gets a signal from the bladder to go to the loo when it's around half full . If you take him to the loo every thirty minutes he won't be getting the signal to go to the loo. Start with gaps of about 90 minutes and build up to about every 2 hours minimum . A healthy bladder only empties 6-8 times a day.
It's a really common mistake to take to the toilet really frequently but it just encourages a reduced bladder capacity.
Encourage him to drink lots as well again this helps with building up bladder capacity but avoid black currant as this can irritate the bladder.

I think I read something once about tucking a piece of kitchen roll into a clean/dry nappy as then they will feel 'wet' when they wee and it can help them to learn the link between the sensations. Haven't tried it yet though!

I have exactly this problem with my 3 1/2 year old. We started potty training almost a year ago and had to retry twice as we didn’t make any progress. Started again and my son won’t ask for a wee at all and doesn’t bat an eyelid when he wets himself/carpet/sofa. He’s happy to be sat on it and generally knows to go there for a poo. I’ve tried everything and even have the health visitor and continence service at a loss. Done bladder and bowel diaries - the lot!! It has me drained. If anyone has found a solution - I need the answer!! Thank you.