When and how did you successfully potty train your DC?

[fornowmaybe]

I don't even know where to start. I'm really feeling down about it. DD is 22 months old and my family keep putting me down saying that she should be fully potty trained by now and she should not be wearing nappies anymore. I've tried and I don't think she understands what she's meant to be doing on the potty yet and why. It's such a challenge keeping her on there too, I've tried putting the telly on, reading books, playing, I've even tried feeding her on there!! Nothing ever works for longer than 20 mins, if that. My family say to leave her to run around without a nappy and that she will soon learn?? I don't really know where to begin and what to do that will help so I thought I'd post on here and ask for opinions.

I personally think 22 months is a bit early but it’s probably not impossible. I’m a bit lazy and my DS is a bit of a worrier so we did it when he had just turned 3yo and he honestly did it himself within a couple of days for wees and a bit longer for poos.

My daughter was 21 months and my son was 26 months (took a lot longer to night train both though - DD was 3.5 and DS was 7). We picked a week in summer when we were all at home, cancelled all plans and just let the accidents happen (took up the rugs etc first!). After 5 days for DD and 3 days for DS it was done. The only time I put a nappy on them after that first day was in their cots for naps/bedtimes and I took the nappy off before taking them out of their cot when they woke up, so they knew the nappy was only for sleeping.

Those first days were messy though... I won’t lie...

@Houndabouttown thank you! I wish it was that easy for us!

@whywhywhy6 bit of a silly questions but when you took their nappy off, did you put trousers on or did you just leave them running round with nothing on the bottom half? Did they just learn from accidents? How did you go about it when they did have an accident? I'm so clueless and useless when it comes to potty training

Each child is different and you should listen /observe the child to assess when they are ready. I had two that trained at 2 1/2 years within a couple of days dry day and night third was nearly 3.
Waiting till they are ready ime is so much easier.
I have known others train too early and then have regular accidents months later which can't do the child's confidence much good. Most nurseries like them to be fully trained by the term after their 3 around here but will accept them in nappies (except the state nursery).

I waited until they were ready and wanted to do it. No training required and no accidents. All 3 trained between 2.5 and 3.5.

I worked in a toddler room and the dc were pushed into training early before ready took weeks and months before they stopped having accidents and it became a big deal. I take a more child led relaxed approach to parenting.

DS was 3.5 years, left it a bit due to speech and language delay but followed the 'Oh Crap' method, was very straightforward.

Thanks all. I agree with all the comments on here. I'm a FTM and wasn't sure if I was doing the rug thing and whether I've been neglecting her in regards to training her. My family always like to put me down when it comes to parenting for some reason and I always have to google things/ask others to make sure I'm not going insane and that I'm doing things the right way.

I started with ds1 when he'd just turned 2. He hated it - tantrummed, held his wee for literally 24 hours once because he refused to go on the potty, refused to engage with the topic at all both at home and at nursery, generally stressed me out no end. Finally, a week after his third birthday it clicked. He was fully trained in 2 days and dry through the night on the third night. Don't force it before they're ready is my advice: it's pointless and it just stresses you out!

Daytime potty training varied from just after 2 to 4 and a bit (nights took longer) across my four kids.

I wouldn't have them sit on a potty for long time, but I did use a timer for regular toilet need checks starting every hour or so, just sit for a few minutes and "see if you feel the need" and then spacing them out more as they got better at it. It also involved bribery and watching which made them excited to be 'pants man'. Even now we have 'pan-pan-pants man!' jokes.

Don't listen to them. I had the same with DD at about 22 months and it was a nightmare. Tried again when she was 2 and a half (when I knew she was ready rather than when my parents decided it should be done) and it was fine. My son is about to turn 2 and I'm not even considering it for at least another 6 months.

You know your DC better than your family! Ignore them and tell them to stop putting pressure on you both.

I got told this week that we were late starting with my DS by someone know knows fuck all about potty training but we started in summer when he could run around naked. He understood what to do but didn't want to do it. Weirdly he was fine with poos after watching the Poo Goes to Pooland app, but wees took us from AUGUST TO MAY before he cracked it properly, ie he wanted to use the potty and not just wet his pants. We were tearing our hair out.

(What nailed it for us in the end was a biscuit for every wee done in the potty, but that's by the by!)

So ignore the know-betters around you and listen to your gut. It'll happen when the time is right!

Oh and he was 2 years 7 months when we started, 3 years 4 months when he got the hang of it. Much later than some. All kids are different!

DD has just turned 3 and still hasn't got the hang of it. She won't tell us when she is wet or done a poo, she will quite happily sit in it

We had a few successes with the potty and she seemed really keen then just decided she didn't like it anymore and wanted nappies again. I am not pushing it - she will get it when she is ready.

Most of my friends children of the same age were potty trained last year so I do feel a bit crap that she is still in nappies but I can't force her to be ready!

This makes me Feel much better thanks so much everyone. Will definitely wait until I feel she is ready.

To answer your questions, we put light clothes on, so undies and a dress or undies and shorts so they were quick to get on and off. We kept the potty right with us, moving it from room to room, and watching them like a hawk. When they had an accident we just said “oh oh, all wet! Next time we will try it in the potty” all light and no drama. Made a big deal when they did go in the potty (calling grandma to tell her, high fives, let’s go tell daddy stuff). I won’t lie, it was intense but it worked and not having nappies after that point made life easier.

I should also say, and I’ve just thought of this, we had been using modern cloth nappies rather than disposables from birth and I think that could have helped because they aren’t as absorbent so they might have known the wet sensation already. I don’t know if that helped but it may have.

The main thing is, don’t stress about it. They will get there. Even if it isn’t at some magic age that others set for you.

I read that "When they're ready, potty training is easy" - and it's true.

We thought DD was showing signs of readiness around 28 months but after 3 days of potty training, we were still having more accidents than wees and poos in the potty, so we stopped. Tried again around 32 months - same as before. Then at 34 months, she announced, "I want to wear big girl knickers" - two accidents on the first day, and dry from then on - piece of cake.

2 years 3months - oh crap potty method, worked for us and I always recommend

Just after before 3rd birthday for DTs - took 2 days.

We had a couple of abortive attempts before then but they just weren't ready. Having to do both of them meant I left it a bit longer and then we booked a long haul 4 week holiday so did it when we got back.

Tried when he turned 3 and just wasn't ready. Few months later we nailed it in two days.

I potty trained my daughter when she was 3.5 and my son when he was nearly 3. 22 months seems very young but then it does depend on the child.
I’m not sure I agree that potty training is always easy when they’re ready, I think with some kids it can be a battle no matter when you do it.
My daughter was a bit of a nightmare to potty train, I tried when she was three and it wasn’t happening so I tried again six months later and she was still extremely resistant. She hates change and the whole thing freaked her out. We went ‘cold turkey’ and had her in just a top, no pants or anything below, and said there would be no nappies (except for overnight). She spent the entire day protesting but after three extremely long days, and all-day encouragement and emotional support from me, she was doing her wees in the potty. But she still had major issues about poo so I had to put a nappy on her every time she needed a poo! I weaned her off this before she started school age 4. I had to write her a little book about how Mr Poo needed her poos to go into the potty etc. Did the cold turkey thing again, no nappies for poos. She was scared of the change, but she managed. Man, it was so tough. She really did not want to change from nappies.
My son was much easier. Made sure I had 3-4 days where we didn’t need to go out or go anywhere, as I had with my dd. (I know this isn’t possible for everyone but I found it really helps for potty training to be the focus for three days). Had him just a t-shirt, sat him on the potty regularly, job done. He had an occasional accident at nursery in the next few weeks but nothing major.
Long post but kids are all different, it depends how easy-going they are, how adaptable, how sensitive etc.
I’m sorry your family puts pressure on you and is critical like that. It really isn’t helpful. I even found my mum asking “so are you going to potty train him soon?” when my son was not yet two a bit annoying. It’s like people want them to hurry on to the next stage. Just do it when you feel you’re ready and your little one is ready.

Both of my dc were 3 before they were potty trained. They both more or less did it in a day. We didn't follow any specific book or method, just put them in under wear and let them play. They both had a couple of accidents the first morning but that was it really . We used pull ups for going out for a couple of weeks but they were only needed once. Some of my friends became obsessed with getting their dc trained at 2 and it became months of accidents, carrying around pottys, spare clothes, changing clothes all of the time, bribery etc , it didn't seem worth it just to say 'my 2 year old is potty trained', especially when, for the most part they weren't!

I personally feel that 22 months is a bit early but each to their own. Both my children were 2.5years old and mastered it quite quickly. I did the just pants and taking to the toilet half hourly, increasing the time every few days. It took my son around 2-3 weeks to get it and my daughter around a week.

The biggest thing is that if your child seems frightened or isn't getting it then leave the potty training for a month then re-try. It isn't an age thing, it depends on the hormones developing to have the brain recognise the need to go. It isn't really something you can force.

Good luck!

DS was 2yrs8mo, about to atart school (we're in spain) and i wanted him to be out of nappies for that.
It was August, we didn't bother wth a potty, went straight for the toilet. took three days to be totally dry, minimal effort from us. And surprisingly dry at night, too, which we were totally not expeting. we'd bought him paw patrol pants so he was excited to wear them.

He was obviously just ready and it was a very easy transition for us. I know parents who pushed too early and their dc kept having accidents for a year - the children weren't ready.

As to pressure from other people, smile, nod, ignore. Say 'oh,t ah's interesting' in the most bored voice you can muster!

I'd wait if I was you. Much less stressful and a shorter process when they're old enough. Tried at 2yr 5 months- wasn't interested/ready. Tried again 2 yr 8 months, bingo- was ready and all done and dusted within 4-5 days. Very smooth process, never had an accident when out and never wet the bed. I also had pressure from family from 2 years old, but stood my ground. It's none of their business. There's no rush and no prize for potty training your child at a certain age, so take the pressure off.

My daughter is 22 months and can use the potty for poos but not for wees. When she first started passing solids she would pull the most incredible faces so I’d whip off her nappy (was using cloth) and pop her on the pot - much easier to clean up! She started to resist this at a year so I stopped, but kept the potty in the corner of the bathroom. A couple of months ago I started suggesting she sat on the pot when I changed her nappy in the morning and evening, and also when she started pulling nappy filling faces. Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn’t. The last two days she has spontaneously come and told me when she needs the potty for a poo, and successfully used it - nothing in the nappy. Wees are a different matter! She’s certainly aware when she’s weed, but I’m not sure she’s figured out when she needs to go...