5.5yo STILL in pull ups at night

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

I really just want someone to make me feel better.

5.5yo DD still wears nappy pants at night. She shows no sign of wanting to give them up. I have always been of the mind that you shouldn't push children on toileting, it'll come in time, but she just seems like she'll keep on using them forever.

Tonight she had a poo about half an hour after bedtime. I am fairly sure this is behavioural to put off bed. It had got all over her legs so she had to go in the bath and get showered off.

She shows no sign of embarrassment about this. I feel almost teary as tonight is a night "off" I've booked away from chores. First night in months. Was going to do a yoga dvd. Now spent 20 mins cleaning up poo of a Year 1 child.

Is this normal??? What am I getting wrong?

Didn't you post this before?

My DD is 6.4 and she’s not dry at night, we tried without pull-ups once recently and she woke up wet through. We had suspected she was just being lazy and not getting up but appears not. We haven’t had poos though. My other DD is 3 and has been dry at night for over a year! I’m not worrying for now.

Why did you never potty train her?

Kids need to be encouraged/pushed a bit at times

Start now

Toileting doesn't "come in time". Children need to be shown, it's a learned behaviour.

I really don't understand why you let it get it to this stage. Is it only at nighttime that she wears pull-ups? Does she have any accidents during the day?

Ignore Pickachubaby as I think she thinks you mean daytime.

I understand the nighttime dryness is completely separate to daytime and can't be trained. Generally doctors don't worry until children are 8.

My son is 5yrs 9m and is still in pull ups at night, I've been told it will come in time and not to push it. I think it's quite common

I think nighttime soiling is unusual at this age.
Nighttime dryness is not unusual.
I'd look further into the soiling, and ignore the wetness for now.

My DD was 5.5 and still in pull ups. She got invited to a sleepover for a friends birthday with 4 other girls so I decided we needed to take action. She also showed no interest in giving up pull ups but we explained about the sleepover and got a reward chart and she chose the toy she wanted if she succeeded. We cracked it in a week.

Check the ERIC website for resources. My son is almost 6 and has lots of vowel issues, on movicol since a baby, but will do a poo before bed. Using bribery we just made it a part of bedtime routine and it helped him stop pooing in pull ups at night. I've been told by his continence specialist not to push it though. I'd ask your GP for a referral but be prepared for a long wait.

DS turned 5 last month, and has just this week ditched the night time pull ups. He's been day time potty trained since around 3ish (I forget exactly when it was).

We've tried to force the night time training a few times with no success. But during lockdown he's woken up most mornings completely dry. We had about 4 packs, so we told him once they were finished we wouldn't buy any more. Got him into the habit of going for a wee before bed whilst he was still in pull ups, and now he just sleeps on those dry nite sheets.

Maybe get her into the good habits whilst she's still in pull ups, and see how she gets on. You could try getting her a pack of knickers that are just for night time (let her pick a design/character) to make it a bit fun.

Just to be safe we still get DS to have a wee in the night (DH is up 3 or 4 times anyway so gets DS to go too)

Nighttime dryness is hormonal.

Ignore comments from people @Pikachubaby who don’t actually say anything constructive or helpful

Nighttime dryness only happens when the hormone that triggers nighttime waking for toilet trips is triggered.
There is nothing you can do to speed it up , anything up to age 7 is normal . It will most likely happen in its own time and if it doesn’t a GP visit when they’re 7 will start any balls rolling that need to be.

@madcatladyforever
Why? Is this suspicious behaviour? Is there a limit to how many times a person can ask for advice about the same subject?

Anyway, back to the real world ....

Both my children were in pull ups until they were 7. I was a bit panicky with DS1 and tried to get him out of them a few times, but it was very stressful and disheartening for him when it didn't work, so I decided to keep him in pull ups until he was dry. With DS2 I was more relaxed. He asked to come out of pull ups once or twice, but when we tried he wasn't ready, so again I kept them on him until he was dry. Neither child has suffered any ill effects from me not lifting them, using alarms or otherwise wasting my time trying to force something that wasn't ready to happen.

Please don't worry. Use pull ups and relax.

My DD is almost 4.5 and in nighttime pull ups, totally a potty trained day time. No poi’s but often lots of wee in AM, I’ve been worrying but given the general co send us on this thread I’m going to give it a little while longer.

Every supermarket sells nightpants up to ages much older than your 5 year old. Clearly there are many many children in the same position.

Nighttime dryness is definitely hormonal - my DS actually cracked being dry at night a year before he potty trained during the day. The soiling is more of an issue, especially if she goes happily during the day. I think I’d mention it to the GP, but I think you’re right not to push it yet.

DS cracked weeing in the toilet a lot quicker than doing poos, once we did potty-train him. We were reluctant to take him out of the pull-ups while he was still doing poos, because I couldn’t face the mess of washing pooey underwear. What cracked it at the end was that we went away at the end of that summer and he did a couple of poos in his swimming trunks. He was so disgusted by it (in a way he never had been with his pull-ups!) that he started being happy to do a poo in the toilet instead.

@madcatladyforever no? Not that I remember anyhow. I don't worry about it in general.

@Pickachubaby obviously she has been toilet trained for years. I am talking about nights.

I am not worried about the poo as such. She never has daytime accidents and goes for a wee as part of her bedtime routine and usually has a poo then too. If she doesn't she sometimes wakes for a poo.

The pooing tonight was 100% behavioural, I'd just allowed her to go to bed later as was reading to her and we did an extra chapter. It was totally a "let's see how I can get Mummy to come back up" thing.

It is more that she still IS in nappy pants. But sounds like that is more usual than I thought. I think we may try her this summer without and see if she can go thru.

My DD was in pull ups at night until she started her period. We did go to a clinic to see a specialist who said there was nothing to worry about. DD was never phased by it and we didn't make a big deal if the nappy ever leaked. Apparently when they get to 11 one in 30 children are still not dry at night. OP, I'm not saying this will happen to your DD, it's more to reassure you that it's ok to not be dry at night at a young age.

We've had a similar issue, and are finally getting somewhere I think 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻. First, we were told by the incontinence team make sure she's drinking enough during the day (apparently this helps to "train the bladder" or something - no bad thing anyhow). We then took her out of pull-ups (night dryness is hormonal - but we think as her nappy was nice to wee in she was ignoring the signals to wake up in the night) and used brolly sheets. We also rewarded a wee on the loo in the morning with smarties, and for a dry night (not generally ideal to reward for something out of their control, we wanted to incentivise being dry, and make it worthwhile to her). It's taken about 2 months, but we've finally had a few dry nights and she's waking up to use the loo. Been quite frustrating with all the laundry, but apparently removing the pull-ups is good as they've got a reason to acknowledge needing a wee in the night.

Good luck! Eric are also really helpful - and your gp can refer to a bed wetting clinic from 5+, as well.

My dd potty trained at 2 but was still wet in the night at 4. She always slept heavily and we thought that might be it and didn't want to push it.

However we decided to try one of the alarms you put in their pants on a night. It also came with a sticker chart.

I slept in her room for two weeks so that when the alarm went off I was there to stop it and put her on the loo and by the third week she was dry.

She has now been dry well over a year and I would recommend one if you can commit to it.

Check them out on Amazon, they get great reviews.

Good Luck.

This isn't unusual and as others have said you can't train a child to be dry at night if they aren't ready for it. DC1 was dry at night at about 3.5 years, DC2 and DC3 were both wet at night until around 9 years old. They were prescribed Desmopressin which was useful.

People who haven't experienced this with their own children generally haven't got a clue what they're talking about. It's incredibly common. Our kids' primary teachers were experts at discreetly helping pupils with pull ups on residentials and we frequently had sleepovers with older children who were wet at night.

The alarm thing is interesting.

Talking with DH, he reckons that pre lockdown she was dry 5-6 mornings/wk, and it is only now that she is sleeping later that she has started wetting again.

Might have a chat with her about it this weekend.

What time do you give the last drink? We try to avoid one after 6pm and stay away from black current as it's a diuretic - he can have it for lunch not dinner