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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

3.5 year old late to use toilet and holding it in?

6 replies

Bubbletrouble43 · 19/06/2020 16:04

My 3.5 year old has been delaying potty training, I began introducing the potty at around 2 years very casually and her twin has been dry since about 2yrs 10 months. Happy to wear pants etc and use toilet. However twin 2 has spent last year refusing. I've tried everything. I eventually left it alone for a few months as she found it too distressing and said she wanted to be in nappies, went with the " she will do it when she's ready" etc. However at 3.5 no signs of interest at all. So I've bribed her with a chart ( she will win a much sought after reward) and she's been happy to wear pants the last week, but for five days she was just weeing herself constantly and refusing to use the loo. However yesterday she sat on the loo, did a big wee and got a sticker. Then held it in. I ended up putting a nappy back on after lunch as the holding in worries me. Then today, two wees on the toilet, all day. I have now at 4pm put a nappy on as I'm sure she's holding it. Her twin goes for a wee at least every hour! Am I slowly winning this, or is the holding in going to cause problems? Help! Any advice, or similar experiences welcome!

OP posts:
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FedUpofLockdown123 · 19/06/2020 16:06

No advice sorry but following for advice.ml My 3 year old is doing the exact same will hold it in for hours so I end up putting a nappy on as I don't want her to end up with an infection. She used the toilet once a couple of weeks ago and was really excited from the praise I gave her but nothing since.

Bubbletrouble43 · 19/06/2020 16:09

For clarity, she is not developmentally delayed in the slightest, quite the opposite, quite the most advanced in every sense of my 3dc, and I had no issues like this with the other 2.

OP posts:
Bubbletrouble43 · 19/06/2020 16:11

Worrying isn't it! I feel we are going to be in nappies forever!

OP posts:
SKP86 · 23/06/2020 13:10

I'm also training my 3.5 year old and we've had a successful week of her using the potty herself for wee (no poo yet), and found only yesterday that she couldn't be bothered to use the potty and just held it in for hours. I think she is either too distracted or busy to go, or the novelty and excitement of her being a little grown up has worn off. Anyway, there haven't been accidents, she just holds it.

She will do a wee when I sit her on the potty myself. Have you tried that? Give her lots and lots of fluids and try and encourage her to sit on the potty. Don't show her your frustration or she will pick up on it and get more stressed. Try to be chilled about it, like it's not a big deal and calmly keep asking her if she wants a wee and make a habit of sitting her on it every 2 hours or so if she holds it in. For that age, they should be weeing every 2-3 hours.

I'm going through the same thing too so maybe it's more common than we think?

Rosehassometoes · 23/06/2020 19:56

Try privacy. Stop all prompting and have potties in lots of different rooms.
When you sense she might need a wee ask her to put something away in her bedroom- have a potty in there. Leave her to it for 5-10 minutes and you might find she goes.

PowerslidePanda · 11/07/2020 20:10

@Bubbletrouble43 and @SKP86 - It's a couple of weeks on from your posts - any updates? Going through the same thing with my toddler and would appreciate any advice or reassurance!

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