Why is this not working?!

[beelola]

DD is 30 months and she loves having a wee on the potty. She's been countless times today for a wee on it. But she's also done a wee on the floor, a poo on the floor and a wee in a nappy when we were out.

What am I doing wrong?

You're putting a nappy on her when you go out.

Once potty training starts, nappies are for sleep time only.

She's confused and who can blame her?!

@beelola

at home, you must be having her run around naked... that is why she is can wee and poo on the floor. As NuffSaidSam said, you also must have put a nappy on her when she went out. The poor girl is confused, and only going to the potty when you suggest it, not from the signals that she gets. As a result, she is being trained to wee on command - not ideal.

Steps and Reasons
1 - Go to potty, sit and wee / poo based on her own signals, not your reminders Why so she learns to do same from the signals she already knows. Most babies hide before they poo - you want DD to go to the potty and poo.

2 - Pull down pants, sit on potty and wee / poo. By this stage, she knows the signals, now needs to learn the extra bit.

Some people wait for the child to be ready - i.e. the child informs the parent before they wee / poo their nappy. Since DD is pee /poo on the floor, she really is not ready OR is ignoring the signals that tells her that she needs to pee/poo

Going Out
Since she has pull-up training pants on at home, and will have learnt to tell you before she needs to wee/poo, she will be doing the same outside / overnight. As a result, contrary to NuffSaidSam, once out of nappies into training pants, one does not go back, even for sleep time.

The only exception is if DD is not getting this after 3/4 days.

In relation to DD loves having a wee on the potty, this is a new experience for her where she has your full attention. She will try and do what keeps that attention but if she does not have the focus to know prior to voiding that she needs to void, this is going to frustrate both of you. As a result, I suggest that you wait until she KNOWS.

She's been taking herself for a wee on the potty, not when I've been reminding her.
The nappy has been on when it has had to be, I can't take her out without one because there's nowhere to change her if she has an accident.

I'm wondering if she isn't ready yet. She either goes a couple of hours between wees or has 3 in half an hour. She had a perfect day yesterday, no accidents. Today she's been really hit and miss. We've been trying for about a week now.

She's not my first DC, her sister just got it really easily!

You stay in or take her to places where she can go for a wee if she needs to/you can change her if she has an accident.

Given that the only thing that's open is the park (where she can have a wee/be changed) I can't see this is much of a problem at the moment.

If she had a perfect day and is taking herself off for a wee then she's ready, she's just confused because the nappy is going on and off. Maybe you're not ready?

@beelola
As you state, you have been trying this for a week and she is still hit and miss. Since she is going on her own, try the pull-up training pants. As a result, there will be no stress with you or her when she 'misses'.

In my opinion, she is ready mentally, but may not be ready phsically. As a result, overnight / in nappies, she will revert, but that is not a huge problem. Give her the time, maybe a week or so, and she will get it.

It's a bit judgy and unhelpful on here isn't it. The world keeps turning through coronavirus and potty training. Supermarket trips still need doing and I occasionally have to pop into work. She needs her pull ups on for those things.

I think I'm going to carry on for another week and see how she gets on. If she's still having frequent accidents, I'll probably wait a while before trying her again.

@beelola

I am sincerely sorry and apologise if you think I am being judgy or unhelpful. I am trying to support you. I am aware that the world still needs to go on - that is why I suggested pull-up training pants similar to Huggies for DD to pull up/down when she needs to use the toilet, or are absorbent for when she forgets.

Again, I sincerely apologise if I did offend you in any way.

It's OK Op we use pull ups to go out and for bedtime. We're 3 months in and DS pulls pull up down to go to the toilet when we're out, doesn't tend to go in them anymore.

How long have you been trying? We've had a little issue with pooping this week for some reason but it does get easier once she gets the hang of things. Sometimes I find they get too occupied in what they're doing but she will learn.

DH and I took a week off work (between us so me 2 days and he 3) to potty train DS. Went cold turkey with the nappy, no underwear or trousers for the first few days. We didn't go anywhere further than the garden to start with and by the weekend we had managed to go to the local park. Had to carry a potty around with us for a few months though as DS wouldn't go on the toilet.
It worked really well but then again I know all children are different and some get it before others do

We are in the thick of it and i carry a potty insert with me as there are no public bathrooms available, so will find a quiet spot on the street and quickly pop her on the potty when she says she has to go. And then empty in the kerb/ down the nearest drain. Not ideal but prefer this then putting nappies on and off. We also do potty time in the boot of the car if have driven into town. I find there are way less accidents out of the house then at home- at home accidents seem to happen as they are frustrated at being stuck indoors so much (damn lockdown!), whereas when out they are interested and engaged with things going on and seem to agree to go on the potty without any issues. Good luck- for us there have been bad days and good days and def notice if i dont react to the accidents (except in a bored way say- oh you had an accident, next time in the potty, and ask them to put their wet clothes in the laundry hamper) this has decreased the accidents, and praising all trips to the potty, plus a choc raisin for successful trips if they are having a difficult day! Hope you get some success soon- its such a long journey isnt it!

She's been much better the last 2 days No accidents on the floor but still using a nappy when it's on. Ideally we would stay at home until she'd cracked it but that just isn't possible atm. I was thinking about giving up but I'm going to carry on.

Honestly op putting a nappy on in the day sends mixed messages.
So when I was training I would sit my LO on the potty until she did something, once she did we left for the shops to give us maximum time. If we go out now because there are no toilets I put a pull up in my bag so worst worst case if she needs the toilet I will put her pull up on her in the car.

There's no way around that though. She's weeing before we go out but we're out for about an hour at a time. Not having a car doesn't help but there's not a lot I can do about that.

She sounds like a smart cookie! She's knows she can wee in the nappy and know me it won't be uncomfortable like wetting her pants. Maybe try some short trips out without them?

I have to agree with other posters, putting a nappy on is the cause of the problem/confusion. Once you've started there should be no more nappies apart from sleep time. If she is going before you go out that's amazing and a good start. We carried the potty everywhere for the first few months after so when they needed to go out they would and it would be somewhere the felt confident to do it. I really think the only way is to ditch the nappies

@beelola I work with toddlers and spend many days toilet training!! It sounds like she is doing really well and I would say keep going rather than giving up or waiting as she sounds ready. The nappy is definitely the thing confusing her here. She is using the potty at home but when the nappy is on her brain just reverts back to using it. Where are you going when out? Could she wear a dress and knickers which you could change easily when out if needed? Or take a potty with you? Otherwise I think you might have to accept that when you go out she has a pull up on and that she will go, but when you are at home or somewhere there is a toilet she can wear knickers without problem. I wouldn’t go back to using nappies full time if she can manage to be dry while at home

She is just about there; I must admit I just went to pants straight off ; one of the DC wasn't ready and after lots of accidents we stopped and tried again a few months later but the other two were fine; v infrequent accidents over first week or two only. No nappies again in day , even for naps or long car journeys obviously they still wore nappies at night. I'm not a fan of pull ups really as I think they encourage confusion.

She's been perfect today! She's had millions of wees but they've all been in the right place! Let's see if it lasts...