Loosing the will to live - smearing poo

[iwilltaketwoplease]

Please help me,

My almost three year old (3 next week) has been potty training for three months.

He knows when he needs to go , he will go to the potty or alternatively to the toilet, however there has been numerous times now he will poo on the carpet and smear it onto anything, put toys in it, rub clothes onto it and I am seriously seriously getting upset with this now , it's not like I can just wipe it up easily ,he knows it's supposed to go in the potty but he will do it anyway if I'm not looking. The potty has been in the same room and he has decided to not use it and instead use it to play.

Also he has a younger brother who is 1.5yo and he will end up covered in shit too.

I am concerned this isn't normal behaviour, how do I teach him it's wrong? I've told him it's dirty before and he laughs as if it's a game, it doesn't stop it and I can't take any more.

Anyone ? Not a troll btw!

That sounds stressful. I'd put him back in nappies for the short term if he'll keep them on. Poo smearing is a concern and I would call your health visitor for advice. Good luck.

@helpmum2003 Thankyou for the reply, I haven't got a health visitor as we moved towns but I will give the local centre a call and ask for some advice there. Been a really tough day so I am happy it's "bedtime"!

If you have a GP you will have a HV even if you've not met them. If not register ASAP as you need support. Good luck. Hope you slept well.

My dd has started weeing on all her toys and in her bed so I have put her back into pull ups for the time being, she thinks it's funny but I don't

@iwilltaketwoplease
your 3 year old sees poo as another toy to play with and is got comfortable making this new toy. I suggest that you put him back into tape-on nappies for a few days and step away from the potty training. If he asks before he fills his nappy, sit him on the toilet. If not, ignore it for a few days.

In relation to teaching him that is wrong to smear poo, he doesn't get it and is not mature enough to understand.

Training him for 3 months with little of no progress tells me that he is not ready, and all it is doing is frustrating you. Step back from this until he starts telling you ahead of time that he needs to wee or poo.

@kmoreilly Oh no I don't think I've explained clear enough.

He uses the potty or toilet 99% of the time, if he's sitting at the table eating he will get up and go to the toilet without saying a word he just knows he needs to go and he will.

My issue is every now and again, if I'm not in the room he will decide to not use the potty and shit on anything else, he thinks it's hilarious, I'm certain he knows it's wrong. Most of the time he freaks out if he's got sticky hands but doesn't care if he's covered in poo.

Interesting you mentioned using it as a toy, he had loads of toys why play with poo. I think it's behavioural , most of the times it's been when he's over tired. Also if he misses the toilet on time he hates being in wee pants but again doesn't mind covering his brother in poo. I just don't understand it.

I can't go backwards now, he took to the potty very easily, he always took his nappy off if he'd weed or pooed, he was ready and is on the whole doing well apart from these poo parties he's having.

@iwilltaketwoplease

He sees the poo as a new toy, something for him to gain your full attention. You note how he does this when you are not there and he needs to poo. He also could be miffed because you are not aware of him / focused on him when he needs to poo - and is rebelling in this way. He might be missing the praise, and its associated attention, and found another way to get your attention, probably when you are focused on his younger brother. It could also be a form of jealously.

Now, the cure - next time he does this since he knows well what he is doing, treat him accordingly - deny him the attention, i.e. pick him up silently and place him in the bath. Tell him that he is being punished, and tell him why. Then do not say another word to him, wash him and put him in his crib/playpen etc on his own without any toys for 3 minutes. Again, do not say another word to him - and if he cries / screams, tell him again exactly why he is being punished and walk back out of the room.

@kmoreilly Thank you, that does make sense, I will try that approach if and when it happens again.