Any 3yr olds not yet potty trained?? I am so fed up!

[peanutandpumkin]

Hello,

Just what the title says, i am a bit curious to see if we are tiny minority and all other kids have clicked before 3?

Thats what I feel like!! I am so fed up! Bit of a rant coming on sorry

Ive tried when he was 2.5 yrs old during the summer i figured it would be easier.. he didnt get it, went running around couldnt care if he soiled himself, happily sit in a dirty nappy and have fun 😐 i thought i'd clear this before I had my daughter 3 months ago! Well no 🙄 i didnt

Picked it up after he turned 3. Bare bottom first couple days, I watched him like a hawk even with baby around hubby off sick in bed i carried on.. i went on then reflected on what happened... i didnt realise its been 25 days ive been at it and observed this:

He goes poo on the potty no problem there (yes naked, pants on, NO potty when nappy on)
He maybe 2/3 went wee without prompting, involved telling me and he'll try hold it but still have minor accidents.. rest ALL wees on the sofa, floor, prompted on potty half fighting me
Rewards worked for 2/3 days but then hiw many chocolates can i give, also he got bored with stickers!

When i finally broke and put a nappy on him it was the worst day, ONLY accidents that too dribble wees, big wees everywhere! At one time I literally could sit for couple minutes before ye did another big wee 😭 hubby saw this and couldnt believe he was weeing so much (how much can he possibly drink? Lol) I realised then:

He may not have the right bladder control yet
He wasnt recognising need to wee at all, just that 2/3 times he told me
He is not crying or upset. Hes just fighting me, stubborn and no interest!

I gave up and tried again a month later from 2 days ago.. its like he started where I left him 😕

I dont think hes doing it on purpose, i am not sure.. sometimes i think hes getting BORED of being upset about an accident.. 😑

The good things are
He now know exactly thw whole potty train (sit on potty, wee/poo, wipe, wash hands etc) we practised it several times, he can do it only needs help wiping.. he can independently pull his pull-ups, pants off(i thought he didnt, but to my surprise he once went in like that when i calmly told to go wee if you want to wee)
Even though the 25 days was a disaster, something stuck on him so he remembers the whole process he just needs to be interested or bothered to do it..

Now where are we? Yes, still not interested happily sit in poo or wee no problem 😭
Hubby suggested he was premature and had his milesstones pretty late and just got chatty from lock down so he might be late in this too! I see his point but i really dont know what to do.. we have tried rewards,books, everything!

Also hubby thinks "maybe one day he'll get up and ask for potty to wee just like he SOMETIMES do for poo"

I dont know. Honestly 😕

I've noticed with most things with my DD, I'd worry and worry that she wasn't doing things at the ages I thought she should be, I'd spend months in a tizz about her eating or her toilet training or whatever, then one day she'll just go and do whatever it is I've been pulling my hair out over, and that's it. Then I'll look back and think why did I worry. She's always been one of the last of her peers to hit certain mile stones (or that's how it's felt) but she gets there in the end.

@Myfriendanxiety, @BrooHaHa yes no-prompting, potty nearby reminding him but he ignores me. Sometimes he goes if I bribe him or he has an obvious moment where he got a big wee but these are soo rare! Maybe I should just go on like that. Maybe he'll then just use it. Nursery has noticed he bows to peer pressure so with regards to PT he might do well there. I know what you mean about environment 😞 very aware

@BlueBooby yes hes reached all his milestones really late and you are right, I was so worried with his first solids (he was a skinny baby) even now with his meals. I notice he is behind his peers but then he'll have this week where he catches up fast, short bursts. I dont know if PT is the same. I do know that he gets it much easier now that his vocabulary has improved

So I am trying the no prompting thing.. we have one wee in the potty and thats cause he sat down to poo.. then he was playing and suddenly said "uh oh i need to go potty now" and i helped him on the potty.. he weed in his knickers but I feel its positive that he atleast recognised what he needs to do..

I'll see what happens

Very positive, both that he has made the connection between wee and potty and that he did not like the wet pants that resulted from not going.

That’s great that he recognised he needed to go. I think too much promoting stops them learning how to recognise themselves when they need it.

Keep going!

My ds is nearly 3 and half and still not ready and it's stressing me out also. You aren't alone. He will only sit on the potty for a few seconds now then just gets off.. this is day 2 in pants and when he has an accident he's not bothered by it all !! His sister was hard work with potty training too and one day she just cracked it and I remember thinking to myself " why did I get so stressed ". And he i am again getting soooooo stressed with it all.

It's hard op.. you have my sympathies . I'm tempting to try bare bottom but we have carpet in our front room and terrified of big accidents and room smelling xx

Ok so hes doing bare bottoms.

He going well with poo, no problem there i am confident he'll do it WHEN he has nothing on waist down..

But wee is still a problem. He'll do wees if i bribe him or prompt him in any other way. And even if i get him to wee its tiny dribble not much. I rarely catch a big wee 😑 i cant watch him like a hawk all the time(i try make it most times) because i have a 4 month old so feeding her, changing her are all disruptions and i see tiny puddle here and there. And i am cleaning too much in an hour :(

So how do we progress from getting couple of tiny dribbles during the hour to one big wee?

He doesnt really say he needs a wee but when it comes to poo he dives do all kinds of ninja actions to get to potty

@Louisa111 thank you x its so hard

This time it feels a tony but easier because i take his lead and not fight him to get him to potty. I got the poo done from the "the poo dance" song 😳🙈

How long have you been doing the pants off thing? It's quite common for boys to be dribblers initially. Prompting is ok at this stage- self initiating can take a while and reliably doing so even longer. I wouldn't bribe. Have him help you clean it up and just calmly reiterate that pee doesn't go on the floor, it goes in the potty. Do buy yourself a guide of some sort, if only for troubleshooting and reassurance.

Ok, then i'll continue.. been at it from 3 days. Its not too bad. He responds to poo call, i dont have to prompt him when he complains of "poopoo hurting" i help him to the potty. Wees need prompting and also ive noticed the dribbles are usually as a day progresses afternoon? I dont know if hes bored or tired

Maybe he'll respond to wees when i put him in pants? But then he'll get comfortable with poos in pants 🤷🏽‍♀️🙈

Just to update,

Its been a week and a half now. Hes doing ok bare bottom. I dont prompt him much and then he have accidents. Maybe i got 2/3 unprompted wees. Poos are fine bare bottom but bad in pants he have accidents 😐 Its 50-50 for poos when ges in pants.

I now think its just depressing to go back in nappies on the day. I am fine cleaning accidents than deal with pooey bum and dirty nappies and i guess warm weather helps.

He was out running in the back garden today in pants. I gently reminded him to wee in potty, set potty aside in a shade. He came back with one shoe wet with wee.

I dont know if this is all progress but i am just going along. I dont know honestly where i get the energy lol