Doing fab with potty training but 'holding it in'

[Jannt86]

I've just started potty training with my 24MO and she totally got it straight away. She started really well and is still doing great but she's really stubborn about sitting on the potty until she absolutely needs to (or nearly misses) to a point she was dancing around on and off for 2 hours this evening and gettiing really worked up if we sat her on her potty so we stopped pressuring her but she was still dancing around not really knowing what to do with herself and a bit distressed. I don't want to stop because she definitely 'gets it' but I don't want to distress her either. We've tried sitting her on the potty and putting her the lion king (her current fave) on tv or distracting her with something but it's like she's getting herself too worked up to wee. Will this all settle if we persist? I don't want to sound mean but I feel like if we give up now or allow her pullups back then she'll just learn that she has that as an option and it'll be even harder in the longterm. Any help would be appreciated. I believe she's ready so want to get through this. Thanks.

Yes we had this. It was a control thing unrelated to potty training (which we had done a month or two before) that hit around 2. Would only sit on the potty at their own initiative and would refuse and even wet if we pushed it. Try backing off a bit, as counterintuitive as it seems. The constant prompting can be irritating! And the occasional accident isn't the end of the world.

Yes I agree and I think I'm going to try just letting her decide when she needs to go on it tomorrow and not push her as what seems to be really frustrating her is when she sits on it but can't go. Eventually she'll have to learn to go before car journeys etc but for now perhaps constant prompting is just counterproductive. She clicked on really well over the weekend and barely any accidents after day 1 but this was with nothing on from the waist down. Then she went to nursery for 2 days where she's obviously had to wear pants and trousers. She's also done really well there too but she's holding it in there and it's making them nervous so they're leaving her pullup on after her nap to 'encourage her to go' which is the last thing I want really as it's just teaching her to wait til she has a pullup on. We have a week off together now though so hopefully we can get back on track

Is the nappy ever dry after the nap? We got rid of the nap time nappy quickly so it was more consistent but I'd only recommend that if she usually wakes up dry. I'd keep going though.

Yes she's woken up dry most days that we've been doing it. She did a wee and poo in it today at nursery but tbh I reckon they just left it on UNTIL she did it which I don't really want because it is just sending her the wrong message

I'd drop the nappy completely. Good luck!

Update; a dry day and no pullup for her nap today and totally dry then did a wee 10 mins after getting up. Now if anyone has any tips for persuading nursery that she doesn't need it we might just smash this haha xx

Sometimes little ones aren’t keen on the potty but love using the toilet, do you have a stool and seat for her to use with the toilet?

Well done her! We just went in and said, oh X doesn't use nappies any more and stopped supplying them. Would that work for you?! It helps if you can say "she's not used a pullup in her nap for a week without an accident." Ultimately she's your child and if she's dry at home over naptime then I would just not allow them to use nappies.

Similar here except my daughter will go in one spot in our house. Fortunately my childminder hasn't put her in nappies but no accidents there and she held it once all day until gone 3! I agree with you low pressure.

The pull-up training pants are the step to underwear, and are underwear in the child's eyes, not nappies. The child learns to go to the potty and pull down the pants before sitting down.

In relation to the hopping around etc, it is the child learning to react to the stretch sensor in her bladder. When the bladder fills, it starts to stretch. This triggers stretch sensors, closes external sphincter and opens internal sphincter. The closure of the external sphincter needs focus, and allows the bladder to stretch. When the bladder stretches a little, the internal pressure sensors tells the child she does not need to void, so the internal sphincter closes and the external sphincter opens. As a result, the need to void is gone. Urine is still entering the bladder, and the stretch sensors retrigger, the internal sphincter opens and the external sphincter closes.

This loop continues until the child makes the decision to void OR looses the battle in holding her external sphincter closed.

This is required in order for the bladder to stretch and give the child night-time reserve - night time control is based on the quantity of a hormone that reabsorbs water in the kidneys, and the capacity of the bladder.

The hopping around is part of the steps the child needs to do in order to get bladder control. There is a key moment that the bladder can't expand any further and the external sphincter can't hold back - and that is the level the child needs to know about which needs focus.