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Am I not being ‘pushy’ enough?
25

Mumofboys17 · 09/12/2019 13:53

I know that toddlers do everything in their own time, and I genuinely wasn’t bothered about potty training to start with as - like everything else - I figured DS1 would let me know when he was ready!
He turned 2 last month. However he also has a few friends/relatives that have recently turned 2 also, who are all now completely dry through the day and night.
I’ve been told maybe I should try bribing DS1 more and be actively encouraging him to use the potty 😕 he has done a few wee’s here and there but he honestly isn’t interested otherwise. He sometimes tells me when he’s wet and now hides from me when he does a poo.
I now feel really shitty and have dreaded mum guilt that I’m not doing enough and have convinced myself he will still be in nappies as a teenager 😂
Just looking for general advice really! How old were your little ones when they started/completed potty training?

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Ohwhatbliss · 09/12/2019 13:56

Started at 3, 3 failed attempts and finally cracked it at 3.6 when he was ready and was dry day and night in 3 days. You can't force a child who isn't ready.

Despite what you may hear 2 is very young to potty train. I'd leave it at least 6 months and try again.

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Winterdaysarehere · 09/12/2019 13:56

Ime just enjoy your nappy wearing toddler!! Ds was 2.10 and went from pull ups to dry in 3 days.
Glad I didn't waste his last months before nursery battling with a potty!!
Not many 4 year olds start school not toielt trained!

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Mumofboys17 · 09/12/2019 13:58

@Ohwhatbliss one of them doesn’t even turn 2 til this weekend!! 😬😂 they’re all in ‘big beds’ now as well, DS1 is still in a cot! Makes me feel like I’m so behind and have to get my arse in gear 😩
I have no concerns with DS1 at all, just hate how other mums make you feel so shitty about this stuff!

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MustardScreams · 09/12/2019 14:02

Leave it. When they’re ready they get it. Dd was 2.5 and so ready, she was fully dry within 2 days and has never had an accident.

Ignore what everyone else is doing, he’s a unique person, and no one cares what age you learnt to use the toilet. It doesn’t make someone better because they learnt earlier!

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CobaltLoafer · 09/12/2019 14:08

Fuck me! Not even two yet!! I’ll never understand the race for PFBs to be out of nappies, out of a pram and in a ‘big bed’ on the stroke of 18 months. Often the child wets themselves for another year, moans about walking for another year, and gets out of bed a million times a night when they could be safely contained...for another year!

Chill and ignore. It’s horrible for everyone to try and force a child who is not developmentally ready into potty training. Most second and subsequent children I know (including mine) potty trained at three!

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CobaltLoafer · 09/12/2019 14:11

I’d be surprised if they really are all totally dry day and night too. I know plenty of perfectly healthy DC who still went at night age 5, 6 or 7. At 3y/o my DC2 was the first of our group to be dry at night. Some of it will be competitive bull shit. Ignore!

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Figmentofimagination · 09/12/2019 14:11

My DS is 2 1/2. I am waiting for when he is ready. Even nursery have said he isn't ready yet and to leave it for longer.
He's also still in his cot, and I'm happy about that as again, he's not ready. He likes his cot. Why change it.

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CobaltLoafer · 09/12/2019 14:12

*wet at night

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mousemousse · 09/12/2019 14:14

All your friends are lying

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merryhouse · 09/12/2019 14:19

I read "Toddler Taming" which said that the later you left it the quicker it would be, and thought that sounds like a good idea Grin

My son wasn't ready at 2y10m - we were having a go at it and I asked if he needed a wee. He was definite that he didn't. About a minute later he wet himself. I decided to go back to the nappies (no I didn't get cross or anything, I said his body obviously wasn't ready for this so we'd try later)

At 3y1m we tried again, and cracked it within 3 days. Three hours if you don't count the spills on the floor by the potty. Dry at night a few months later.

Son is developmentally typical, mostly ahead of average I think - and is now at A Top University.

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giggleshizz · 09/12/2019 14:34

Wow. DD was nearly 3 for dry in the day and wasn't dry at night until summer before she started school so 4.5. it happens when it happens.

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Thesearmsofmine · 09/12/2019 14:41

It is pretty unusual for a 2 year old to be dry at night. They are probably fibbing a little.

My 3 dc potty trained in the day between 2.5 and 3.5 and were dry at night between 3 and 5.5. I let them lead the way.

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DartmoorDoughnut · 09/12/2019 14:45

Being dry at night is a hormone thing, with my first I tried to potty trained him at 2ish and he just wasn’t ready, about a month before he turned 3 I tried again and he cracked it in 4/5 days from memory, haven’t even bothered trying yet with DS2 who has just turned 3 because the horror of the first attempt with DS1 still lives on!

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Mumofboys17 · 09/12/2019 14:48

I would just like to point out again I’m definitely in no rush to start/force potty training on my DS lol. I was just curious what other people’s experiences were as he’s my first and I have nothing precious of my own to compare him to.

I definitely think it’s too early. It is for us anyway. Just hate being made to feel crappy about it as we aren’t keeping up with the Jones’, so to speak 🙄

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Mumofboys17 · 09/12/2019 14:49

*previous - not precious! (That he definitely is not) 😂

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chickenandwhat · 09/12/2019 15:26

Meh I met one of these potty trained just turned 2 year olds. They took him to the toilet every 20 minutes and said they set their alarm at night to lift him to use the toilet twice. It sounds like a lot of hard work.

I think my DS was ready about 2.5, but I left it to 2.7 as it's was better timing for us, no trips away etc. I think it's a fine line with them getting too used to nappies, but I don't think all children suddenly announce they are ready. Mine certainly didn't even have it on his radar, despite reading various potty books. He coped fine and was trained quickly, one accident second day when we left the house, but he needed that to realise. Obviously you get accidents at some point, it's a learning curve.

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Winterdaysarehere · 09/12/2019 15:35

One of mine was dry during the day before 18 months but only due to his db 14 months older making it a competition!!
Saved a bomb in nappies I am certain!! Complete fluke though.

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Beseen19 · 09/12/2019 15:48

We trained at 2yr 9m and he was totally ready then. I would find it very very very unusual if a just turned 2 year old was dry day and night. My DS has been out of nappies at night since he trained but he is certainly the only toddler I've met in that situation and i think it's mostly because he is a very light sleeper so straight out of bed and on to toilet in the morning.

I wouldnt train until he has the communication to tell you when he needs the toilet and the interest to go to the toilet. You can start slowly by letting him sit on while you are running the bath or when you know he is away to poo. But I found that having accidents out and about just took away my little boys confidence and made him not want to go to the toilet.

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reluctantlondoner · 09/12/2019 15:52

I know a few of these "dry" just 2 year olds... they have constant accidents. Makes everything stressful. Journeys of any length become impossible. And definitely still in nappies at night!

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Turtlesone · 09/12/2019 16:01

My DT’s have just turned 2 and not potty trained yet. I don’t want to push them too early. My friends with older children have waited till their dc have decided themselves, normally around 2.5/3, and apparently it’s been a quick process. So I like that approach! I find that parents that have potty trained early are mostly the competitive types. Mine are also still in cots, and they’re staying in them as long as possible! I don’t want to let them run around the room loose at night it’ll be a nightmare!

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kleew1 · 09/12/2019 16:02

My LO is nearly 2.5 and no where near ready also still in a cot and sleepy head for that matter!

We let her so nappy free time as she quite likes it and she is no where near ready. Like she peed sitting down on the couch on Saturday watching it... not caring at all. The joys!!!!

I’m not going to rush it at all.

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icantbecani · 09/12/2019 17:33

My 4 were all dry (no frequent accidents) by 2.5 (2 at bang on 2 years) and dry at night within 6 weeks of day. I found potty's much less work than nappies. My children were all very verbal though so could communicate well, I think it would be much more difficult with less verbal children. My first took her nappy off on her second birthday declaring they were for babies and never wore one again. Of course there was the odd accident but it really wasn't even a weekly thing and I've never lifted. I think you need to be led by your child and what signs they are showing. Personally I think if you miss the cues (and do it too late) it takes longer for them to be reliably dry at night.

They are all individual though. My 6 year old very, very occasionally wets the bed at night (every few months) my 4 year old has never wet the bed at all since they became dry at 2.

You will get lots of people saying it happened overnight at 3.5 and not to worry about it and others saying they trained their 6 month old. It doesn't really matter what others have done - it's what works for you and your family. i was keen to get rid of nappies so made it a priority.

Incidentally my children's school has for the first time in my memory (my youngest is now in reception) sent home a letter due to the number of children having accidents in school, some daily, arranging for the school nurse to come in. I do think it has become more fashionable in recent years to leave them in nappies for much longer than when my eldest (12) was a baby.

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icantbecani · 09/12/2019 17:37

Also, I never bribed with chocolate or anything else.

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Teachermaths · 09/12/2019 17:41

Mine was reliably dry in the day at 2 year 1 month.

We used the "oh crap" method (it's a book). Took about 3 days at home naked, then approx 2 weeks of accidents every other day. Then we've never looked back! He was in cloth nappies though so had got used to feeling wet. He also had been sat on the potty since he could sit so kind of knew what it was for.

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Mumofboys17 · 09/12/2019 18:03

@icantbecani Thank you, it’s nice to know that even with multiple siblings they’re all different! I really don’t like the idea of bribing DS to use the potty. Wish someone gave me a chocolate button every time I went to the loo!! 😂

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