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Terrified of toilets

wishihadagoodone · 22/09/2019 14:51

Hi folks. Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated here 😥

DD3 had a rocky start to potty training. Started too early I think. She wouldn't tell us if she needed to use the potty, constantly wetting and spoiling herself. Then she developed a stinker of a fear of the bath. Would scream and cry uncontrollably, desperately trying to climb out of the bath. Again I think this was due to us putting her into the bath while she was still upset about setting herself. Thankfully, we seem to be over the fear of the bath!

Through lots of praise and stickers, we got her using the potty well enough. The "seat" of the potty lifted off to sit over the toilet which is supposed to make transition to using the toilet easier. I actually think it's made it harder and she refuses to sit on the toilet. She'll only sit on the toilet if we're using an insert which doesn't move about. While this is fine for home, she's now at nursery and I don't want to have to send her to school every day with a toilet seat!! She's terrified of "falling down the toilet". I think MIL (with the best of intentions😬😬) sat her on the toilet in her house to try and get her to go and she slipped a bit which has given her this fear.
She's had an accident almost everyday on the way home from nursery because she's holding it in. I'm afraid she's going to end up with a UTI.
Any advice for getting her to sit on the toilet herself?

Another thing I need help with is her terror of public toilets. She's always hated rooms with no windows (for example, changing rooms, public toilets etc) so if we DO take her wee toilet seat out with us, she won't even go into the bathroom. She said she doesn't like the hand dryers. She recently had an accident whilst out with DM. When she took her to the toilets to change her, she ended up practically feral with fear. She was sweating, crying, screaming, kicking and desperately fighting with DM to get out the door. Poor DM has never seen her like this and got really upset too.

I'm at a loss at how to help her with these issues!!!!

If you've read this far on a thread about toilets, I thank you!!!!!

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Suki84 · 22/09/2019 15:53

I went through this with mine very similar.
He is 5 now potty trained but still hates the hand dryers.
HV advised us to completely stop potty training so I did for about 6 weeks. We didn’t mention going to the toilet at all. I hid the seat and potty. He had developed very bad anxiety around the toilet and I waited for him to forget. We then restarted potty training and it took about a week. It was much easier when the anxiety had gone. he also developed a fear of the handryer.
He is still scared of the hand dryer but I say I’m just going to switch the hand dryer off and he is then fine going in.
Hope you find a solution that works.

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