Does the method matter?

[PleasetellmeIWillsurvive]

I have a very sensitive and cautious DS. He's 2 and 8 months. I wasn't going to potty train him until he was at least 3 as i just didn't see him being ready, but there is now a chance he may be starting a preschool in January where he would need to be 'dry'. He'll have just turned 3.

With this in mind, I habe introduced him to the potty as he quite likes playing 'toilet' with his toys. Last night he sat on it for ages whilst watching in the night garden after his bath (mainly to avoid having to lie down to get his nappy changed). He did do a wee, but not sure he was really aware, as like I said he was on there for ages. He sat on it again this morning for even longer and no wee but a tiny bit of poo (had just taken off a pooey nappy so I guess he hadn't quite finished).

Anyway, I guess the upshot is I'm now thinking this may be achieveable arount October half-term time (we'll be at home more, and it gives him a couple more months to get used to it before starting preschool, which I'm sure will be a stressful time for him as he's been at home with me full time since he was born.

So what I'm wondering is, what's the best method? Is my casual, stick him on the potty occaissionally but keep him in nappies for now a good gentle way to begin or is it just confusing and better to go cold turkey come october half term when we can stay at home a bit more. My instinct is that his sensitive and easily freaked out personality requires a gentle approach, but I don't want it to be confusing.

I've not read anything about potty training - should I, and is there anything you'd reccommend?

Really don't want to balls it up for him as starting preschool is going to be hard enough as it is!

Thanks!x

I used Dr Caroline Fertleman’s Potty Training for Boys. I just happened to see it in a charity shop and thought it looked interesting. I felt the concept of potty training was really bearing down on me but I found this very reassuring as it takes such a steady approach.

It basically advocates an hour of no nappy time a day and building from there. It advocates prep stuff like taking them to the toilet with you so they watch, getting them to flush. It seemed really laid back and not at all stressful - I found the concept of going cold turkey awful and far too intense. I read the Oh Crap method as I’d heard so many good things on here about it, but the concept just didn’t seem to suit us or our parenting style.

It worked really well for us and took about 4 months, I think it gradually built DS’s confidence. We didn’t use lots of praise or rewards. It was super slow going for us, but it never felt pressured or difficult and we were in no rush. Although we were guiding DS it felt like he was leading it eg I’d always give him a choice of going out in a nappy or pants. One day he said pants and he’s not worn a day time nappy since.

We’re still not there completely as he can’t pull his own pants down yet. He isn’t quite reliably dry, he probably has several wee accidents a week. He’s only just 2 and a half though and he’ll get there anyway.

It also worked for us as DP and I share DS’s care so DS is home all the time (as in not in any form of day care).

I’d really recommend it.

Thank you so much, that sounds really interesting. I guesd in a loy of ways we hsbe been doing some things already. He's been following me to the toilet forever and likes to do the flush and more recently wants to see what is inside his nappy. An hour of nappy free time is very doable for us as well so that sounds achievable.x

Sorry for all the typos!

We used the oh crap! book to train DD last year at 22mo and she got it in one morning for wees. Poo was a bit more traumatic for her which I think is common! No accidents since the first week when nursery wanted her to wear knickers (the book recommends no underwear for a while as muscle memory makes them think they're wearing a nappy). Only thing is the author strongly recommends 18-30 months as a training window.

@LaPufalina thank you for responding. Amazing it worked so quickly. My sister in law said something about a 'window'. We may well have missed that!

No worries. Ours didn't have much of an opinion! I imagine at 2y8m now she might do

There is no window. The fact that LaPufalina says training for bowel movements was traumatic proves that surely? I would really hold out as long as possible.

@Myfoolishboatisleaning when you say hold out, would you include gentle introductions to sitting on potty etc in that? Really wanted to wait until he's at least 3 but now wondering if it would be better to have it sorted before preschool.x

I bought a potty when my son was about 1.5years old and had it about the house to get him use to it. Just use to let him sit in it b4 getting ready for bed etc. If he didn't want to use it fine, if he did a wee on it loads of praise.
Sometimes we didn't touch it for months at a time but it was in the livingroom where he could see it and get use to it.
He's 2.5 now (the potty hadn't been touched or talked about since we moved in October) one morning about a month ago he decided he didn't want to wear nappies any more just use the potty. We have had very few accidents and he moved from the potty to the toilet within a week, again when he asked to use the toilet I didn't force it.

I know your son is older than when we 1st introduced the potty. But in my option slow and steady, letting them get use to the potty being around the house, not forcing them to use it or making a big deal about it really seemed to work.

@Ware17 thank you! Am pretty certain a gentle approach suits us best! X

My DD is very cautious and sensitive too, and we are now on day 7 of potty training - no wee accidents yesterday but still not 100% there with poos.

Does he tell you when he has done a wee / poo / ask to be changed? My dd would often say “change me” and be pulling at her nappy before she had even done a wee. That was one of my first cues she was ready.

We tried to make it a really positive experience and be led by her (kind of). Eg I let her choose some pants at the shop, asked her if any of the older kids she knew at nursery used the toilet and potty, then “ah I bet DD could do that, like x!”

To be fair she was so excited about being a “big girl” wearing pants that she was really excited to use the potty and toilet.

Any success we praised loads, had a sticker chart with columns for wee on potty, poo on potty, trying and pulling her own pants up and down. Once she filled the chart she got a small (wrapped) prize.

Any accident brushed off as “never mind, just a little accident. Next time we’ll try and do it in the potty. Let’s clean you up”

Ooh also I forgot I bought her a travel potty (my carry potty which looks like a bee) and wrapped that up along with a potty training book called No More Nappies. She opened it on the morning we began potty training. We’d had a standard potty and a toddler toilet seat around for ages but the new potty was a good incentive for her. The book is brilliant, it’s got flaps and pull tabs etc and it really reinforced the potty message! She loves it . Will try and find a link.

This is the book

www.amazon.co.uk/No-More-Nappies-Potty-Training-Steps/dp/1509836314/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?s=gateway&keywords=no+more+nappies+book&sprefix=no+more+nappies&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1567674284&sr=8-1