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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

2.5 Year old refusing to potty train

12 replies

Kmitchz · 30/07/2019 16:31

Hi All.

My 2.5 year old is refusing to potty train, there is no pressure from us, but when we noticed that he was running behind the fridge to poo in his nappy we decided to get the potty out.....and he will not go near it. We placed it behind the fridge in case he wanted to sit on it...but as soon as he saw it there he ran behind the chairs to go poo there..and will now go where-ever the potty isnt. He also refuses to sit on the toilet.

We were shopping the other day and looking at big boy pants...he decided he wanted peppa pig ones...but refuses to put them on.

The other day when playing in the garden, we just put his shorts on with no nappy and he said 'wee' but wouldnt sit on the potty or toilet...he stiffens up and refuses to sit there.

At his childcare they have also been taking him to use the potty with the other kids and asking him if he would like to try but he always says no.

I wouldnt usually worry but he starts school in January and I don't want him to be left behind.

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titsmcgeeisonholiday · 30/07/2019 16:35

When you say "school" do you mean nursery? Will they not take him unless he's out of nappies? That seems unreasonable, he can't be the only one!

Dd didn't get out of nappies until 3.5 - it's a hormonal thing and some kids take longer than others. I'd give yourself a break, keep the potty around and accessible, let him try on the toilet with a comfy seat etc. Don't make it a battle because chances are you aren't going to win!

llangennith · 30/07/2019 16:46

Dd didn't get out of nappies until 3.5 - it's a hormonal thing and some kids take longer than others

Daytime dryness is absolutely NOT a hormonal thing!

Original poster

Kmitchz · 30/07/2019 16:49

Hi titsmcgeeisonholiday. It's nursery but in the school, our local school takes them from 3 years old. They will take him but if he needs a nappy change we will have to collect him as the teachers are not able to change the kids.

We have a kids seat for the toilet but he just refuses. We've cooled off alot but since getting his school start date yesterday, I realise how near January is :(

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QforCucumber · 30/07/2019 16:57

Ds was 3 in March, he was toilet trained a month later. after numerous failed attempts we stopped stressing over it, one morning he just said 'ill wear pants today mummy' and that was it, hardly any accidents since.

Cornishclio · 30/07/2019 17:36

My granddaughter wasn't toilet trained until almost three. My daughter and her husband tried when she was about 2.5 but she got stressed out so they left it for a few months then tried again but with a toddler toilet seat rather than a potty. She got wees straight away practically but poos took a bit longer and she would go in her pants. Eventually bribery worked. A lollipop every time she used the toilet to do a poo. Worked a treat and now she doesn't worry about getting a lollipop or not.

I would leave it for a month then try again. If he knows he is going and is able to hold it then he is capable of being trained so offering a bribe to help him get used to doing without a nappy may be the way forward.

Original poster

Kmitchz · 31/07/2019 14:16

Thanks everyone. Think we will just lay off it for a bit and not even mention it to him until he starts to take an interest. He told me this morning that he couldnt come out of nappies until he was 'as big as the sky' lol

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SultansOfSwing · 06/08/2019 10:22

I used sticker rewards. My DD refused the potty similarly to your DC. She would hide to poo in her nappy and would go crackers at the mere suggestion of the potty. So I would just casually leave the potty in the room wherever she was and took the nappy off so she had nothing on under her dress. A couple of accidents later, she soon sat on the potty to wee and poo and we gave her a lot of praise and a sticker for each wee and 2 stickers for a poo. It took about 2 weeks but at home DD uses the potty. I have a travel potty for going out and unless it is at a friend's or relative's house she will not use the travel potty in public or tell me she needs a wee. So still a little way to go but the sticker rewards definitely worked for us as a starting point.

ChicagoSnake6 · 25/08/2019 19:26

I think the specific tips you have gotten have been very helpful. I just bought my daughter a potty yesterday, she's 2 so I am going through this same as you are so any advice on my part would be given without wisdom. The advice I can lend from my own experience is for you though. I have realized that society tends to re prioritize aspects of our lives. Money can become more important then love, education more important then wisdom, taxes more important then everything lol. Not long ago I had to lose much of my life, including the privilege of parenthood to realize what I had. Since then I have gotten back into my daughters life full time, taken a part time job, gotten rid of distractions and risks to my health and essentially learned to love myself first so I can do so for others more efficiently. If you son misses school, what's the very worst that could happen? He is a year older then others and possibly be made fun of?? I've found our insecurities as parents, if not overcome by us, are passed to our children. So if he is slower then the average at potty training, it could just mean that he has more time to bond with you, or more time to commit to something else. The main point being everyone has a different level of development and in different categories. The ones that learn quick have a harder time later when things don't come as easy and they aren't used to patience. The ones who struggle now seem to do better later dealing with struggle as they get older because they have more practice and coping skills to deal that struggle in general. Just kno that life gives you everything you need, or else we wouldn't be able to live. I've learned to appreciate things to combat stress. If my daughter isn't listening to me, I appreciate the fact I have a daughter. If my son doesn't finish his food, I appreciate that I can even afford it. I do this to calm myself, then I can tackle the problem from a more balanced, less stressed and more thought through state. Hope that helps, love from Chicago.

Chitarra · 25/08/2019 19:30

Have you tried bribery? I don't agree with bribing my DC in general, but potty training is the one exception IMO! Chocolate buttons worked wonders.

Bear2014 · 25/08/2019 19:38

He's not ready. January is a long way offf, I'd maybe leave it til October. Our DD came out of nappies at 2 years 10 months and was fairly reliable by her 3rd birthday. If they're ready it's fairly quick and easy.

IMO nursery should be prepared to change a 3 year old. Our school nursery will no problem.

MillieMoodle · 25/08/2019 19:44

We have given potty training a go twice with DS2 but he's still not getting it, so we're going to leave it another month. He's 3 in 3 weeks. His brother was potty trained the month before he turned 3, he picked it up straight away with only one accident.

DS2 is much more grown up in some ways than DS1 was, but he's got no idea with potty training. Sometimes they just aren't ready!

iDontKnowMyElbowFromMyArse · 25/08/2019 21:30

A week ago it could have been me who wrote this!!!

My son is 2.5, I've tried a couple of times and he's just refused. Completely uninterested
Then went through a few days of refusing to wear nappies but also refusing to use the potty

I tried off and on and then last time I just had to be more stubborn than him and after a few days he stopped fighting me over it
We just made a big deal of it every time he sat on the potty and his sister encouraged him loads too

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