3 y/o daughter not interested at all in potty training

[alesl360]

Any tips would be really appreciated..

I tried potty training my DD when she was 2.5 y/o and then just before she turned 3. Both times I decided to stop as she was demanding the nappy & refusing to use potty at all, I didn't want to stress her out so left it till a couple of weeks ago.

Two weeks in, I've followed as much advice and tips from friends and online as possible but it's just not working!

She has 3 potties including one portable potty plus a toilet training seat. I've tried reward charts, stickers, wrapped up 'party bag' presents, I've sung her all the potty training songs I can find online and read her potty training books for kids. I encourage her to sit with the telly on, I've cut out nappies/pull ups completely until bed time..

Things are not going so well. The only progress I've made since our last attempts is that she will wee on the potty if I 'bribe' her on with the promise of chocolate buttons. Otherwise she won't ever take herself, and will just not be phased by any accidents she has. She won't ever use the potty to poo, I've asked her why and she said it's 'yucky'. So she'll just poo in her pants and not seem bothered about that either.

I don't sense any anxiety around using the potty/toilet. She's a very strong willed and determined little girl and is definitely going through a 'no' to everything phase. She just doesn't seem bothered at all...

Any advise would be really really appreciated! Do I give up, put her back in her pull ups and try later? I just feel like I should maybe hang on some more since we have made some progress thanks to chocolate buttons...

Sorry for the long post!

When you know she has pooed offer to take her shopping, big build up about what your going to buy..
Ask her if she needs the loo...
Then just notice the poo, and give her a bath instead and say how it is such a shame you have to miss the treat.....
Repeat a few times...
Then ask her all day till she has a poo on potty or loo.
No this is not cruel, because when she finally does poo on the loo,. Praise her and take her to buy the toy. .

Thank you so much for this tip, I will give it a go next time she does it!

@alesl360
I've just read your post and wondered if you've had any progress? My DD sounds exactly like yours! We've had two false starts with potty training so I'm currently waiting to try again.

I thought ds would be in nappies forever. He was absolutely resistant to everything we tried and our list sounded very similar to yours. He just wasn't interested. Then suddenly at around 3 and a half, it was just like a switch went. He went straight to using the toilet with the help of a child's seat/step and pees standing up (with better aim than his father). Since deciding he was ready, he's had one accident and we have done the drive from home (NE Scotland) to the south of England multiple times with him in pants with zero issues. He's 4 now and it's completely different. I think some children just have to do it on their terms.

Try the toilet not the potty. Our "rules" include everyone has to try and go before we can go out which helps a bit.

I know treats are frowned upon on mumsnet but we had a box of sweets and he had a little one (choc button or equivalent) for a wee and could choose a bigger one (marshmallow or equivalent) for a poop.
There was a time when I thought we'd never stop but it was only a couple of weeks and in the end, I was only giving sweets when he remembered to ask.
If it works, I cant see the harm for a long term gain.

Thanks for everyone's latest posts!

@TheRealMummyPig shes unfortunately not made much progress since my last post; I actually just checked today and we're coming up to 7 weeks of potty training now...she will still wee (not poo) on the potty/toilet when offered a reward (usually a chocolate treat still) but otherwise, she will just do her business in her pants the rest of the time...so daily poos in her pants and 1/2 wees in her pants a day...

I've tried to gently probe a little more about why she doesn't want to (really trying not to make her feeling pressured) and she just says 'I can't do poopoo'. So I'm wondering whether there's actually some anxiety there around doing number twos and maybe I should give her a break, put her back in pull ups when I think she's ready to poo...I just have no idea!

@Dinosauratemydaffodils did you put your DS back in pull ups before it clicked for him or did you continue to try potty training?

Thanks again everyone

I just realised that I counted wrong and it's actually been 4 weeks of trying, not 7 weeks..Which makes me feel a little better lol

Pull ups, we live in an old house which we're trying to decorate bit by bit and have thick light coloured carpets most places at the moment so peeing/pooing on the floor isn't ideal.

We carried on suggesting he go, trying to get him to sit on the toilet/potty etc but always pull ups unless he asked to take them off. Once he decided he was using the toilet, he wanted pants and refused nappies.

I eventually found out that he didn't like the fact that any poo in the potty stayed there and would be seen by me/dh when we emptied it. Although he didn't seem to make that association with nappies at all.

That's really interesting @Dinosauratemydaffodils thanks for this. I'm really tempted to put her back in pull ups too but was worried about it confusing her, so is good to hear that's not necessarily the case!

We've been doing it for about a month too, and we are close to cracking it. The first two weeks were filled with chocolate bribes, I made a big deal of emptying the potty and flushing and saying bye bye and now she is excited enough about that to not ask for chocolates for doing a wee. A poo still gets two buttons though as she is less good at getting to the potty on time. Endless OTT praise for being a big girl when she does it. We just have nappies for nap and nighttime now, but she woke in the night and went to the potty of her own accord last night so hopefully not needing nappies overnight will be soon. I'm sick of boil washing pooey pants so I watch her like a hawk all day to avoid further accidents

Have you seen the book 'poo goes to poo land'? Helped with my Dd, who would hold her poo in for 6 days rather than go on the loo!

Sorry for the late reply, thanks again for the tips; I'm willing to try everything (still no progress!) and will check this book recommendation out too, thank you!

My DS is 2.9 and has been potty trained for 8 weeks. He hasn’t had a wee accident since week 1 but still poos in his pants every time. I have tried talking to him about it but can’t get to the bottom of why he is doing it. We’ve probably had 5/6 poos in the potty in 8 weeks, and they have been when I’ve caught him with his poo face and whisked him off!

I just wanted to provide an update to anyone still struggling with their DC's potty training.

Since my last post (3.5 weeks ago) I decided to take the advice given by @Dinosauratemydaffodils and put my DD back in pull ups, just to give us both a break from what was becoming a stressful situation. I started afresh a few days ago and she was straight on the potty to wee within a day (she's had 1 wee accident in the last 3/4 days). She wasn't doing well with poos but she just took herself to the potty to do a poo! For the first time! And then again half an hour later! We've made a HUGE deal about it and have promised to take her to the shops tomorrow to buy her a toy car. So relieved! After weeks and weeks or trying I'm so glad I decided to take the pressure off both of us and let her do it when she was ready..fingers crossed this continues!

P.s thanks @Dinosauratemydaffodils and everyone else for their help!

Was about to say my dc3 was 3 1/2 before it finally clicked with him. He's fantastic now. Best of all of them. Had just about given up!
Maybe it's a boy thing but mastering outdoor wees made all the difference.