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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Stopping toilet training although my son has mastered wees.

11 replies

summ3rs · 06/06/2019 09:33

Hello. Apologies for posting again so soon.

We are two weeks into potty training and my son went all day yesterday with no wee accidents, self initiated potty sits etc. However, he will not poo. He won’t go near the potty when he gets the urge and now won’t even go in a nappy. We are upping and upping his laxatives and it is heartbreaking for us both as he has such anxiety. He is withholding all day long. He has withheld for two years now so we knew it would be an issue. ERIC have recommended increasing his laxatives until he is passing water to clear him out and going back to potty training in a month or so. Has anyone else experienced this with success stories? He was 3 in March but has a speech delay and has shown no readiness up until now. I don’t know whether to carry on getting him to pull his pull up down to do a wee or forget the whole thing and start again when he’s cleared? Any suggestions would be amazing. I can’t explain the horror that is withholding and this is now two years down the line so a learnt behaviour.

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Gannetseatfish · 09/06/2019 11:51

Been meaning to reply to this post for ages, sorry. Also just posted on mooglycrunch s thread.

We have had something similar with DS and are now in a situation where he does all his pees on the potty but only poos in the pull up. He has had one poo in the potty but he was horrified and then withheld for 4 days afterwards so not sure that's going to happen again soon!

We ended up like this after trying to go back to nappies and him just not going at all. Its not ideal but the important thing is he is pooing regularly (ish) again now. I guess only you will know what might work for you're DS. Its not so easy to go backwards especially if they have mastered one side of it but just do whatever suits. I really hope things settle down for him soon. DS has found it all so distressing its heart breaking!

summ3rs · 09/06/2019 20:39

Thank you so much for your reply. Sorry to hear that you are going through something similar. Well, we have had a weekend without any wee accidents. In regards to his pooing, I increased his medication until he had to go. I then made a visual sequence using photos of what he needs to do next time he needs a poo. It starts off with a picture of him, then a picture of 2 blue footprints in front of his potty, then a picture of a nappy, then an emoji of a poo, then sink and taps and finally a photo of a chocolate button. It’s been a success so far. As soon as he wants to poo, he stands on the blue footprints and we put a nappy on him. He generally goes straight away, washes his hands then gets his treat. He still needs the security of a nappy. The plan is to get him to then sit on the potty and poo while wearing his nappy then progress from there. The most important thing is to get him to poo at the moment and break the withholding cycle.

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Gannetseatfish · 09/06/2019 21:41

Blimey that’s fantastic news, well done! A few people have suggested using visual cues to us so maybe I should give that a try too. I just want to get him going regularly again and then we can move towards the potty......very slowly. Keep up the good work!

summ3rs · 09/06/2019 21:56

Thank you. Good luck to you too. It’s an exhausting journey.

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acquiescence · 12/06/2019 20:05

The advice from ERIC suggests they think he needs a disimpaction, this is when you up the movicol to high amounts to get to clear liquid and then reduce, a complete clear out. It can take weeks and be messy.
I think if there is any chance he could still have some old poo backed up then try this as he will not be able to master the sensation of needing a poo otherwise. If he has been constipated his bowel may be stretched and he may have nerve damage which impedes the sensation.
We did a full disimpaction with my 3 year old that lasted 3/4 weeks, got him properly clear and potty trained straight out of that and it had been successful. I honestly thought he would never get there as before this he would do wees on potty no problem but had never done a poo. He still withholds but will do a poo on potty daily with prompts and rewards.

acquiescence · 12/06/2019 20:07

The advice from ERIC suggests they think he needs a disimpaction, this is when you up the movicol to high amounts to get to clear liquid and then reduce, a complete clear out. It can take weeks and be messy.
I think if there is any chance he could still have some old poo backed up then try this as he will not be able to master the sensation of needing a poo otherwise. If he has been constipated his bowel may be stretched and he may have nerve damage which impedes the sensation.
We did a full disimpaction with my 3 year old that lasted 3/4 weeks, got him properly clear and potty trained straight out of that and it had been successful. I honestly thought he would never get there as before this he would do wees on potty no problem but had never done a poo. He still withholds but will do a poo on potty daily with prompts and rewards.

acquiescence · 12/06/2019 20:08

The advice from ERIC suggests they think he needs a disimpaction, this is when you up the movicol to high amounts to get to clear liquid and then reduce, a complete clear out. It can take weeks and be messy.
I think if there is any chance he could still have some old poo backed up then try this as he will not be able to master the sensation of needing a poo otherwise. If he has been constipated his bowel may be stretched and he may have nerve damage which impedes the sensation.
We did a full disimpaction with my 3 year old that lasted 3/4 weeks, got him properly clear and potty trained straight out of that and it had been successful. I honestly thought he would never get there as before this he would do wees on potty no problem but had never done a poo. He still withholds but will do a poo on potty daily with prompts and rewards.

acquiescence · 12/06/2019 20:09

There is a really helpful Facebook group called ‘movicol mummies’ which has helped me so much over the past year.

acquiescence · 12/06/2019 20:26

There is a really helpful Facebook group called ‘movicol mummies’ which has helped me so much over the past year.

SurreyArmyWife · 12/06/2019 20:44

Our DS suffered with something similar. He had been taking movicol on and off from 6 months old due to withholding. At 2.5yrs old we potty trained, but he would only poo in his nappy at night. At 3.5yrs old the situation hadn’t improved and he was only going once every 5-10 days. After speaking with a supportive health visitor, we came up with the following plan :

  1. Continue with Movicol
  2. Ditch the nappies (as dry at night)
  3. Read books about pooing, including ‘poo goes to poo land’ which must have stuck in everyone’s head as you can still hear my now 6yr old son saying ‘bye poo have fun with your friends and family’
  4. Keep track of his bowel motions - frequency, size, appearance etc.,

It was horrible watching him physically suffer (from the withholding) and crying with the emotional distress. He would beg for a nappy.

But after 10 days he finally went on a toilet, this became more frequent until within about 6 weeks he was going every few days.

We stopped the Movicol and there was very little change.

Now at 6yrs old he eats well and poos when he needs.

For DS it was very much his mental issues keeping him from going and not primarily a physical one.

I can understand how you must be feeling. I hope you can find a way forward, perhaps try your health visitors? I believe they cover children up until five years old. Or you could approach your GP and ask if they have direct links to a health visitor who specialises in withholding.

In DS situation, if I could go back in time, I would tell myself to get rid of the nappy crutch earlier. To force the situation would have resolved it earlier.

I hope you resolve things quickly.

summ3rs · 13/06/2019 08:42

Thank you all for your replies. So this is the situation at the moment. After 2 weeks, I trained my son to ask for a nappy when he needed a poo. This seemed to be successful as it gave him guidance. Before that, he would just run around and withhold.

So for the last 3 days, we took away all nappies, wrote a social story, took photos showing what he needed to do when he wanted to go etc Had a massive bribe. The lot. This is what happened. First day, he run around screaming and withheld about 15 times. When he did go it was down his leg and not much. We increased his meds each day to make him v loose. After day 3 he was v upset, wouldn’t go near the potty and was getting very bloated. Even when I managed to get him to sit mid poo, he would suddenly stop himself. I think, all it was teaching him was to withhold as soon as he felt the urge as he had no intention of going near the potty. And it was becoming a habit. After speaking to ERIC, I’ve been advised to let him go in a nappy when he asks as that is the most important thing for children with anxiety. He has never sat to poo so the next step will be teaching him to sit on the potty with a nappy on and poo. We are also going to do a disimpaction as I’ve read that can really help reset things. I belong to Movicol mummies and it is a fantastic and very supportive fb page. The danger I had was that my son was beginning to associate the urge to go with high anxiety and withholding. So I need to break that pattern before I can tackle anything else. Since going back to asking for nappies when he needs to go, he’s been 5 times in less than a day without any withholding. I’ll update as things progress. Xx

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