Back to pull-ups???

[Beansandpops]

We potty-trained our DD at 2.5y. Was a dream and was done in a weekend. Able to hold it in for a couple of hours and asking to go. She moved to the toilet the following week (at nursery they have v cute tiny toilets) and was great. But wouldn’t poo. This wasn’t a potty training thing - she’s always been a “holder” (not unusual to hold for 3-4 days) but her wees were still great and would just have to run and put her on toilet when I knew she was trying to poo (always cried and hid) She got chickenpox a couple of months later and started having wee accidents . I wasn’t worried as she’d been really poorly with it and assumed she’d get better again after. But if anything it’s worse. Fast forward another 2 months and she’s a nightmare. When it’s a “poo day” she’ll have sooo many wee accidents and then when it eventually comes out it is HUGE - my eyes would be watering if I did one that big! She won’t go if you ask her to and stickers/chocolates don’t work either. She’ll just refuse to go if she doesn’t think she needs it and then 10 mins later wets herself but then a lot of the time will take herself off by herself too. She doesn’t get upset about it and I don’t get stressed with her - I’m firm with her though about it and every morning she tells me she’s not going to have any accidents.

I’m at my wits end with washing 5 changes of pants/leggings every day. I’m fairly sure if I can get the poo sorted out it’ll be fine but I think I’m going to have to resort back to pull-ups. Is this a good or bad idea??????

I think I might have to see docs to get her poo moving (maybe some movicol) and don’t think it’s a good idea doing that while wearing pants!!

Any other similar stories with a positive ending??

Please don't put her back in nappies or pull ups. It will make in so much harder to potty train her again. I had something similar with my DS until one day I'd had enough and just left him wet for a while. He cry as it was cold wet and uncomfortable for him, it wasn't for long but long enough. That only happened twice and I was putting him on the loo every hour or so. After about a week he clicked and has been fine ever since.

try using these as an alternative to pullups. they won't let the leggings get soaked, but they still look like big girl pants. could you try taking her to the toilet every hour, regardless if she needs it or not, and ask the nursery to do the same? all the best x

Does she still wear a nappy at night? My 3yo DD would do her poo at bedtime in her nappy for months before she got the hang of the toilet. We also had to use movicol as she was a terrible withholder (we did have to throw away some pants, but it wasn't so bad) and we ended up buying her a "special potty" just got poos, which is worked for a bit!!

and every morning she tells me she’s not going to have any accidents.
That made me a little sad, bless her. It's obviously on her mind and she doesn't want to have accidents.

I definitely wouldn't put her back in nappies, but I would go back to day one again, with loads of positivity and praise when she has a little wee. If she has always been a withholder then maybe speak with the HV or GP. I have never dealt with a withholder so no advice from that really but please don't go back to nappies and just sending a massive 💐💐 and loads of well wishes

Thank you all for replies so far! I really don’t want to put her back in nappies as I know she can do it although I do like the sound of those training pants thank you sleepismysuperpower1

She is what is fondly (🤦🏻‍♀️) called a “strong-willed child” and I’ve tried going back to square one and taking her every hour but she just says she doesn’t need a wee and will scream and cry if I force her (hands up I’ve held her on that loo seat to try) and I don’t want to make the experience terrifying for her that she then won’t go at all.

She still wears nappy at night but takes it herself off in the morning to have a wee when wakes up but never poos in it (nappy is generally dry anyway) and she always goes on toilet before bath.

At nursery they do a toilet run every 20 mins and on a good day she’s absolutely fine but last few weeks it’s been 4 or 5 accidents a day. And again the odd day with us she’s absolutely fine all day.

We do go overboard with praise for her when she does it and tell her how proud we are and she even says to us “Are you proud of me?” which is a little bit heartbreaking.

Maybe a week away next week with just us to reinforce the basics will help ...

I would definitely go down the movicol route, to remove the poo anxiety. The rest will then follow on, especially as she has previously been dry.

Good luck op, I have been in the same place as you and had the movicol for about 18 months in the end ( its completely harmless ) and now she is perfectly fine

My daughter is the same, we’ve always had issues with pooing for as long as I can remember. She holds it in for days, despite clearly needing to go and her tummy hurting. When she eventually goes she gets herself really worked up and then it’s so huge her bottom bleeds. We have laxido but it doesn’t seem to help much.

We’ve persevered with wees and she’s still in pants but when I know she needs to poo I put a pull up back on her. She gets so distressed about it that trying to sit her on the toilet only upsets her more and it’s horrendous. She has a pull up on (sometimes for an hour, sometimes for most of the day) and as soon as she’s pooped she goes back into pants, she only poos about once a week so it’s one day of pull-ups . It’s less traumatising for her and I figure at some point she will get used to it and start doing it on the toilet, she’s not going to be 40 and still needing a pull up for poos. We are lucky in a way that she will only poo at home. So nursery and going out I can still put pants on her and back to a pull up when we get home.

The days she doesn’t need a poo she has no accidents at all or at least very rarely so on the day she needs a poo I’m constantly asking her and reminding her to use the toilet when she needs a wee so she doesn’t get used to a pull up.