She won’t be ready by Tuesday!

[Pottytrainhelp]

Hello. I have a very close family member who watches my daughter while I’m at work. Last week when I collected my daughter the family member said she’s going on nappy strike and my daughter should be using the potty by now (she’s 2yrs 9mnths). I couldn’t be bothered to argue because I’d been planning to start that week anyway. So it’s been about 5 days now and my DD just won’t use it. She’s peeing and pooing everywhere. We have noticed her cues so get her on the potty but she holds it until we let her get off and wees on the floor right next to it. Honestly I could break down today it’s been so hard. We are going out tomorrow to met a friend and I’m worried I’ll just be changing her clothes in the restaurant and the shops. God knows what’s going to happen on Tuesday because DD won’t be ready by then! Please no judgment, just a disheartened mummy that needs help

Can you afford paid child care? I’m afraid I wouldn’t let anyone look after my child who didn’t recognise developmental areas like toilet training don’t just magically happen because you think they’re old enough!! Perhaps find out what her plan is if she wets her clothes? Can she wear a nappy to start with and then once she has filled it move onto trying on the potty? I speak only from experience of looking after my godsons when they were toilet training so hopefully someone better equipped to address this comes along soon!

It will happen- not many teenagers still in nappies.

If the family member has issued a no nappy edict then they can help with the potty training.

I have to say that we didn't leave the house for a couple weeks while potty training.

Honestly. They get it when they are ready. I think your family member is being unfair. Your DD is likely to be toilet trained some time over the next 6 months or so, but it is a neurological and cognitive process and isn't something you or she can accomplish in a few days if she isn't ready.
Personally I would wait until the weather is warmer so that your DD can play outside with very few clothes on. It makes everything easier.
IME, starting when they aren't ready and making a big deal of it often makes things worse.
My worry regarding your family member is whether they are going to create stress and delay the whole process with your DD.

Having spent one hour this morning sitting beside my dd on the floor reading her books while she sat on the toilet, when I knew she needed to go, and she did nothing, I feel your pain.
I would say to your relative ‘great, I’ve tried my best, now you have a go’.
See how much wee and poo on the floor your relative is ready to smile at .

I am rubbish at potty training though, ds was three and a half before we cracked it, I’m sure someone competent could have managed it in half the time.

Whenever my mum commented negatively about his age I offered to bring him over and try on her carpets . She was pretty amenable to nappies then

Oh, and most books I’ve read, and I’ve read A LOT, say that if the child hasn’t got it in three days they are not ready. Pop a nappy on and try again in a few days...weeks.

I would say that if none are going in the potty in five days this attempt should be abandoned.

Have you read Oh Crap OP? You can download it and it's pretty quick to read the important chapter. I'd go for nappies for now, read the book and try again in a couple of weeks (May bank hol?)