3.3 year old girl, held onto wee for up to 8 hours until in pain

[Cleanqueen80]

Hi,
We started training our daughter this weekend, having tried before but she had never done anything in the potty or toilet, despite being keen to sit.
This time day 1 she held it for ages then had a coupLe of accidents then wee on the potty in evening. Happy to try on potty several times a day and excited about wearing pants. Day 2 similar. Day 3 she held her wee for 8 hours despite trying on the potty, until she was beside herself and in pain at which point i put her in a nappy as she was so upset she wouldn't at that point go on the potty. She did huge wee and poo in the nappy then happy to put pants on again and keenly talking about wearing pants to nursery. Anyone been through this, I am scared she will damage her bladder, and it feels cruel to keep trying but at the same time she is generally keen and obviously has ability to control bladder! She's healthy and never constipated. Thanks!

We had similar with DD. We did however get her to go on the potty by making her laugh and she relaxed and did it without realising. We gave huge praise and she was better with the potty after that. Girls can be very stubborn

Thanks. She is stubborn, but she's willing here, just can'tseem to let the wee go

Mine went through a brief phase like this but it lasted a few days on/off including a couple of accidents, definitely less than a week, and we've had no accidents since - can't offer much advice but just wanted to say that it passed and we haven't looked back!

Good point above about relaxing - we still sing lots of songs when they're on the toilet! Takes their mind off "trying", I think.

Try blowing bubbles when sat on the potty, that can work really well to relax them!

or turning a nearby tap on at dribble speed!
HTH - it often did for ours.

Mine hated the potty and were much happier on the loo with a child seat on top. They saw this as being very grown up, I think. Try to be relaxed about the whole process, so DD isn’t fearful of accidents and on edge all the time. If she’s embarrassed about having to use the potty in front of you, rather than the privacy of her nappy, try leaving her alone on it, or have her in the bathroom when you’re on the loo so she feels it’s fair and not a big deal to have each other present.
You will get there in the end, OP. Your DD won’t be in nappies at high school, trust me on this!

Thanks all for the encouragementand advice. She wore a nappy to nursery which was her choice and managed a wee there in the morning but was holding it again in the afternoon so they put a nappy on her. No accidents though. I'm not sure how to proceed as I don't want to confuse her but it feels wrong to keep her in pants if she is holding for ages to the point of discomfort

I’d give her more to drink and carry on.

She drinks loads normally but maybe not so much on nursery days so that's a good point. Will try bubbles etc to relax her and dribbling tap (tried it running but she got up off potty to turn it off)

Mine did this (can’t say I left her for eight hours right enough).

She just wasn’t ready. Two months later she took her nappy off and got on with it. I didn’t have to potty train her.

Honestly I tied myself in knots over it because she was 3 and the only one in her room at nursery still in a nappy. and there really was no need.

Foot in a bowl of warm water, and sing and make it a big positive thing when she is going