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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Almost 5 and still wets the bed?

65 replies

User9797 · 06/03/2019 07:45

My son is almost 5 years old and still wets the bed sometimes. It’s maybe once or twice a month but strangely enough it only happens when he’s got a sheet on the bed. Now obviously I always make sure there is a sheet on the bed but I’ve experimented a few times by leaving it off for periods of time and it never happens when there is no sheet. (I know every time it happens because he will tell me) He gets upset when he tells me because he knows he shouldn’t be doing it but he can’t tell me why. I’ve asked him if he’s too scared to go but I know he does go sometimes. I’ve asked him if he’s just being lazy but he won’t answer me. I’ve asked him if he just wakes up and finds that he has wet himself but he won’t give me an answer. Yesterday I put the sheet on after having it off for a whole week and low and behold the first night he pees the bed.

Beyond frustrated, I don’t want to have to keep the sheet off forever because I know that’s unfair but the mattress is being ruined with how many times he pees. I know I’m going to have to buy a protector. Help please?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Spiderbanana · 09/03/2019 17:31

Hi OP,
My DS wet the bed until he was 8. It is really normal.

Most important thing is to set things up so it doesn't stress you or him out. We layered waterproof and normal sheets so we just had to whip off the off the top layer. We would also take him to the loo in the night.

It is really common for kids to wet the bed when they are feeling unsettled and it sounds like this little guy has gone through a lot of changes.

Do be careful OP that your DP doesn't just advocate responsibility for his children to you. Of course you can care for them but you don't want him to just use you as an unpaid nanny.

Original poster

User9797 · 09/03/2019 18:37

I totally understand the shittyness of me coming in straight away and being a mum figure but there Mum is such a psycho they needed someone. They were failing at school and they weren't looking after themselves and their behaviour was off the rails. Things have changed so much since I came but there's obviously a lot that i don't know about having kids. I am a teacher and I teach all ages from 6-18 but having my own kids is a different ball game. I think I will definitely have a read of some parenting books because I just want the best for the kids.

OP posts:

mrsoutnumbered · 09/03/2019 19:32

OP it sounds like you're doing a great job, it must be a massive learning curve for you.

Has your partner talked to Stepchange? They're bloody brilliant and will give advice on the debt.

Hope you can get a rest and bit of time for yourself! Its really important.

AuntMarch · 09/03/2019 19:34

You're a teacher? I thought neither of you were working

hazeyjane · 09/03/2019 19:36

What sort of teaching do you do?

You said you have no experience of kids!

hazeyjane · 09/03/2019 19:40

Mum is such a psycho they needed someone....

Um, what about their dad?! What's he doing in all this??

Original poster

User9797 · 09/03/2019 19:42

I teach but I teach over seas so I've been having time off to establish my new relationship and help with the kids because social services were at pre proceedings level and now because of my help my partner is learning to be a much better parent and being a better father to the kids. It was hard for him too because he was on his own for so long and then he had to rescue the kids off their mum and being a single dad after freedom for a long time was hard for him. (He wasn't an active part of their life before because the mum didn't want him to be, he wanted to be but yeah)

Yeah I thought maybe I did know about kids being a teacher but looking after kids in a teaching environment and looking after them in a domestic environment is very different. Also I teach short programmes overseas so never get very attached to the children etc.

OP posts:

icarriedaturnip · 09/03/2019 19:42

I have 5 year old twins and they both wet the bed occasionally, one more than the other. It’s normal at this age and we just keep the one who wets the bed more in pull ups, but they both have waterproof mattress protectors

bumblingbovine49 · 09/03/2019 19:44

Mattress protectors are needed. Boys in my family have occasional accidents a few times a month until they they arbour 7/8 years old usually. It can be frustrating but the best thing to do is have a mattress protector than a short, then another waterproof layer and a sheet. Then if there is an accident at night, just strip one layer off and go back to bed. No need to make up the bed again in the night.

Original poster

User9797 · 09/03/2019 19:47

Hazeyjane, the dad is doing his best. It's his first time being a single parent and he was working full time before so having to quit all that and be a full time parent was hard for him. I'm helping him get back on track best I can but having no kids myself I wasn't the most experienced. The SS are very happy with how much he's improved thanks to my help. He loves the kids to the moon and back and wants the best for them. He's constantly helping them understand between good and bad and is very protective over them. He tries his best with the money he has but the kids are bored a lot of the time because we can't afford to take them out swimming and stuff or buy them consoles to play on and when they are bored they show negative behaviour. The SS are helping as much as they can with routines, healthy living, activity ideas, making sure the house is tidy and the kids are doing well at school etc. Things are looking up but I'm still learning, we both are and just need support so thank you to those on here who are being genuinely supportive

OP posts:

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 09/03/2019 19:48

So many concerns about all of this that I’m struggling where to start!

Original poster

User9797 · 09/03/2019 19:52

Your concerns are also the social services concerns so please understand that the children are not being abused or neglected. We rescued them from abuse and neglect from their mum and we have the support from social services.

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 09/03/2019 20:04

Fair enough, I hope between him, you, social services and school the children have a more positive future.

Do look at those Asda links earlier and try and buy some suitable bedding (mattress protector is only £4). Useful not just for accidents but sickness bugs etc

PamGeo · 09/03/2019 21:41

user9797 If your partner has just got custody of his children after what has obviously been a very distressing time for all concerned and if social services are actively involved in their care then contact them for help. They want what's best for these very young children as much as the adults in their lives. Check to see if there are any benefits available to help financially, even working parents can claim some financial help depending on the circumstances. Above all, care about their self esteem and happiness, it's not easy raising children and it doesn't come naturally just because you're a female. Patience, love, kindness, compassion, humour, gentleness, respect etc ... what they learn from you and their dad is exactly what you will get back at some point. Good luck with your new family and I hope daddy is there for them

Original poster

User9797 · 09/03/2019 22:32

Thanks all. Will buy protectors and continue to do what I can to help them. They deserve happiness after everything they've been through

OP posts:

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