Potty trained at home, but not at nursery

[Jokie]

Hi all, looking for some advice. DD is 3 and at home is going regularly on the potty for both wee and poop but the 3 times at nursery, she's come home in a nappy because she wet herself and /or pooped herself.

Has anyone got any advice for how to manage nursery? Or what to advise? She's doing so well but you see her get so down at 'not being a big girl at nursery'.

Are you reminding her at home or is she independent in going and independent with being able to undress herself.
Have nursery shown her round the toilets and told her she can go when she needs.

Why do they put her in a nappy and not a change of clothes? Accidents are normal... she’s probably more distracted by play at nursery or doesn’t want to interrupt play when she first needs to go (not her fault, totally normal!)

Nursery shouldn’t be putting her into a nappy, accidents are expected when potty training and they should clear her up and pop on a fresh pair of pants. I ran a toddler room in a nursery and we would never put a nappy on a potty training child unless the parent had said to do so.

It sounds to me like she is busy with playing or other activities at nursery and forgets to go. This is really common and the nursery staff need to be encouraging her to go to the toilet.

As above I’m puzzled why nursery are putting a nappy on her? My DS has been trained for a few months but has a habit of not ‘tucking it in’ or ‘controlling the direction’ so often wees on his trousers if he goes unsupervised, sometimes they pop dry clothes on him 2or3 times a session but never a nappy. That doesn’t seem very helpful!

Thanks all. I'm so glad that I'm not being unreasonable. To answer the questions:

-At home: she'll tell her when she needs the potty and happily pull down her trousers to do so (and wipe etc).

• at nursery: she went on the loo when my DH dropped her off and she wasn't the biggest fan of the toilet as it was a bit big for her (so that could be a reason).
• she had plenty of spare clothes in her bag so it wasn't to save clothes
• she's got 3days off nursery now and I'll make sure that we focus again on it and hopefully the next time will be better.

I agree that she's probably too occupied with playing.

I'm going to talk to nursery about their process and see what they say.

They might have a potty she can use instead of the toilet if it's too big.

Ooh, I was just about to start a thread with a pretty similar question! A bit shocked that they’re putting a nappy on her though, I’d have words and say that’s not what you want (assuming that isn’t what you want?). Otherwise I think they’re being a bit lazy.

My DD seems to have a daily accident at nursery, if not more. She’s completely fine at home, but always needs sticking on the potty if she’s just waking from a nap (if she’s properly awake she does it herself, but is prone to accidents when just waking up) and needs telling before playing outside for an extended period of time (she’ll say if she needs to go, but she sometimes leaves it pretty late so can’t hold it long enough to go into nursery and upstairs to the loo). I don’t want to criticise them, but I do find myself wondering if they’re really bothering as much as they should be..... not sure if I’m being paranoid overprotective mum!

I was a childminder and happy to nag as it was miles easier than dealing with a soggy child and puddle.
Sadly it's laziness at nursery putting a nappy back on as it's just easier.
They need pulling up on it.

@woolduvet: I'll definitely be asking that or offering to bring ours. My SIL is a childminder too and has said similar to you about nagging being miles easier than an accident!

@crazychemist: is she doing naps without a nappy?

Hi @Jokie, no, she doesn’t wear a nappy for naps. At home this isn’t a problem at all, she needs putting on the potty within 5 minutes of waking if she didn’t have one just before. Not a problem at all at home. I do put her in a nappy overnight as well, as although she’s mostly dry (she wakes up if she needs a wee. I almost wish she didn’t!) that side of things goes wrong when she’s ill and she has a succession of colds at the moment. She fusses and cries if she needs to go when she wakes up, which is a handy reminder for me, but she just seems to forget the words or how to hold it longer when she’s sleepy.

Out of interest, how much help did she need learning how to do trousers herself? This is an aspect my DD seems to find really tricky still. She’s better at pulling them up than getting them down.

@crazychemist: she rarely wears jeans /tights and is more in leggings and that's just easier for her to pull up. We taught her to pull up the front then the back and that seems easier for her.

We're still in nappies overnight but that's taking a little longer for her to get the hang of.