Son will not poo in toilet!

[2infinity]

So, my son is 3 years and 2 months. He is potty trained during the day in regards to peeing in the toilet. He still very much needs a nappy/pull up at night. I even still change him in the middle of the night as if I don't he is ALWAYS soaked through - anyway that's not my concern for now. My worry is I cannot get him to poo in the toilet!!! Most of the time he waits until his bedtime pull up is on then poos or he will do it in his pants. If you sit him on the toilet he screems and keeps jumping off.
It's probably worth noting that up until about 6 months ago he suffered from toddler diarrhoea (unexplained loose stools in toddlers) and could poo up to 8 times a day the wee soul! This has all now resolved but I wonder if it has left him with some anxiety. Has anyone been through similar? If so how did you approach it? Thanks ❤

This is quite common. Have you tried bribing him with a coveted toy if he does a poo in the loo?

Thanks for replying He is obsessed with the wee toy surprise eggs so he knows if he poos in the toilet he gets one. No luck so far lol. I know it is really common but wondering how others overcome it. Is it just a waiting game? Or is there something I can do to help?

My DD is 2.5 and was potty trained from 20 months for wees but she had only ever (since being about 8 or 9 months old) done poos whilst in her bed. Obviously at that age she would have had nappies on all day but for some reason would only go once in her bed.

When she did poos in her nappy, I'd always tell her "we need to try to do poos on the toilet" when I'd change her nappy. I wouldn't say it in a negative way though. I'd just remind her. I also told her "when we do poos on the toilet, we get a chocolate". I persevered with that for literally about 6 months, and a couple of weeks ago, she started going on the toilet. I put absolutely zero pressure on her as I really believe that can backfire.

For your son, I'd try similar. Stay positive about it all. Sounds like he may be a little traumatised by all the issues he has had so I'd say just take it nice and slow with him. Just give him that reminder each time and hopefully you'll see a change soon. 🙏🏼

Is it just a waiting game? Or is there something I can do to help?

In answer to this, I think it's mainly a waiting game and the most important thing is to remain positive about it as negativity will make it much harder for him to overcome it.

My dd did this. I agree it's common. It's a fear of doing it without a nappy. What worked for me was to gradually work towards it like you would a phobia rather than trying to go cold turkey. So do it in stages and do each stage a few times to get them used to it with a reward each time

1. Put a pull up on when they want to poo.
2. Pull up on sitting on potty
3. Sit on potty with side of nappy torn or partly torn

4 Sit on loo with it on 5 Both sides torn

1. Opened a bit

7 Pushed a bit down loo then retrieved. Gradually accustom them.by doing each stage a few times and a little reward each time. The stages were along those lines and you can adapt to suit. Good luck!

I could have written this post. My daughter is coming up 2 years 9 months and she is potty/toilet trained for pee's. Will take herself away to the toilet and have a wee etc however she will hold and hold and hold her poo till she's crying with pain and then soil herself, whether she's naked or wearing clothes. She refuses to let me put a nappy on her to do one during the day (although she still wears one at night) last night we had the unholiest of melt downs, crying she needed a poo and then jumping around and screaming like a child possessed if we tried to put her on toilet or potty. Bribery is not working in the slightest (not even I dare say with chocolate) and I'm losing my tiny mind over it all.

Oh I feel your pain.my lo has just got wees and takes herself. Poos she comes asks for a nappy
I think part of it is it takes effort to sit and do poos on toliet and she wants to continue playing whilst pooing. Melt down though of put on loo. Same as with wees now shes has got wees though shes great so hoping its same with poos
Randomly poo'd on toliet at nursery last week! Hasnt since! Grrr

Well - I came on to write a post about this but you have saved me the trouble @2infinity! Snap!!
My oldest DS is nearly 5 and we trained him a month before 3. Although he took a few days to get wees, he took himself off to do poos straight away. Result! So we're doing my youngest now at the same age. He got wees on day 2 - no accidents! Hoorah thought I... expecting poo to follow by itself as with DS1! But no - exactly as you guys say, he freaks out a little bit about pooping on the loo. He has done about 4 poos on the toilet - 3 at home and 1 at nursery. The rest have been in his nappy at sleep time or in his pants. 4 poos in his pants. Ugh! Neither of mine used potties. Flatly refused. So we use the seat / step combo. I think it's because they have little toilets at the Nursery so they'd never really seen potties in use before.

I was also wondering if it was just a waiting game. So then, we wait!

Same issue here. Will poo in pants right next to potty right after sitting on it. Seems to have no motivation or interest in using potty or loo and happy just to poo and wee on pants and chair/floor/sofa/my leg. Has done wees and poos on the potty but only when put on it physically at first signs or right by it with no pants on in house. Is 3. Is driving me insane. We can’t go anywhere and I have been constantly weed and pooed on.

Has just been diagnosed with threadworms so I’m wondering if that is part of the issue. Hopefully treating this will help.

My son did this and he ended up down a very long road with withholding and constipation

We do, sitting on loo/potty with iPad or phone for ten mins after every meal (refused at school) or a toy but he doesn’t get Ipad any other time so worked a treat
Then extra 10 mins if he did a poo
Now have a clean non constipated kid long road but seek help early if you feel it’s becoming a real problem. It’s so stressful, my nurse is wonderful truly an angel she’s supported me so much

I had a absolute nightmare with my eldest!! I could go on and on, he basically poo'd himself constantly! Didn't care where he was, very bright boy. Just couldn't/wouldn't poo on the toilet. We tried everything. It could be coincidence but I was suggested the app Poo Goes to Poo Land and we read it at least once a day. A week later he shouted me up the stairs, he had poo'd in the toilet!!! He was almost 5!! From that day on he never poo'd his pants again!! I've just had a look and the app is still there. Might be worth a try. Good Luck. It will pass!

Thank you! Am going to find app now to try tomorrow. Also gin.

Thanks for all the responses !! It's so frustrating isn't it argh.
I'm going to download that app thank you!
Hopefully our little ones get the hang of it soon!!

Gin helps, alot!!! So does buying cheap pants and sometimes putting them straight into the bin!! It worked for us, I hope it does for you guys too! I even e-mailed the consultant who developed the app to say thank you! She was so kind and very greatfull for the feedback. Its very simple and silly, but you have to try everything in these situations!

My son watched the app tonight and he was so amused by it. He at least seems interested now haha! Fingers crossed it works. Thank you.