Delayed development where to start?

[Nj200]

My DS is 2.5 and still In nappies, he is quite delayed with his development and don't think he's really ready as he doesn't really understand questions and doesn't answer with a yes or no. The HV said I should make a start with it but really don't know where to start because if I ask him if he needs a wee I don't think he actually understands, he's had a couple wees on the potty previously but now won't even sit on it.
Any advice from people with similar problems?

Bump

I’d say wait until you think he’s ready- trying to battle with potty training when he’s not ready will be stressful for you both. Lots of kids train at 3 so maybe give it another go then?

I think you need to wait until he shows more signs of being ready. No rush?

My son has Autism (high functioning) and had development delay and at 2.5 could not speak either. He was not out of nappies until nearly 5. I don't think there is much point in stressing yourself out yet. He is very young at 2.5 and if he doesn't understand then how is he going to be able to tell you/understand?
Why is your HV telling you this? Honestly don't worry about it yet (just my humble opinion). I would concentrate on working on his cognition and his understanding and the building blocks of speech. Is he getting any help from speech therapy yet?

Thanks everyone

Smartiecake not sure why the HV is pushing it either but she said I should start taking him into bathroom to change his nappy and put underwear on him etc . I think immune DS may be on the spectrum but it hasn't been confirmed. He's seen speech and language once one on one and then been going to a little class with a few others once a week but that's now finished

Nj200 if you haven't asked for help them I would just ignore your HV. Tell her it was too early and he wasn't ready. If he does have ASD or other forms of developmental delay he will get there with the potty training but in his own time when he is ready. Maybe she is offering advice for typically developing children. I would not stress yourself out creating more washing and cleaning for you.
Honestly your little one has other priorities and his understanding and recognition of when he needs to use the potty are probably a way off yet. Glad he is going to a little group. That's how we started with speech therapy.

Just seen that the group has finished. Have you got further appointments?

She knows he's delayed as well she runs his early help plan he's on, it's frustrating because he's better behaved at nursery than at home so don't realise how difficult he can be and doesn't follow any instructions at home. I've got a feedback session in 2 weeks to see what they think and next steps

Nursery are usually very good at knowing when a child seems ready for potty training. Check with them if they agree with you that your child does not yet have sufficient understanding. I agree potty training at 2.5 seems early for a child with delayed language.

One option is to go choose a potty with him. Then let him have some nappy free time and if a wee goes in the potty great. No pressure and very relaxed. 2.5 is a bit in the young side for boys in any case. And it’s much easier in spring/summer to potty train.

I've two boys with no developmental issues and neither was ready before 3 so I agree with pp to wait and if she asks tell hv your son wasn't ready. Don't stress yourself.

Thanks

Ignore HV. My two (girl & boy) both decided for themselves at 3.5 to use the toilet/potty. Don't put pressure on yourself or them, I honestly don't believe it's worth it. Good luck!

My DD has a speech delay she recently started taking her nappy of and coming to me when she did a wee, DC will do it when they are ready !

I agree with others, my son was also delayed. He didn't start potty training until he was 3 and a half. Even after that he still wore nappies to bed for a good few months afterwards. Don't put pressure on yourself or your son, he will get it in his own time. In fact my younger son was past 3 when I started potty training him as well.

2.5 is fairly early for many children! There is a website ERIC I think which helps parents with children with development delay and potty training. Might be worth checking that out for when he is showing signs of being ready

I think 2.5 is pretty early. My DS was 3.5 and my nephews have all been around the same age. Don't worry about it yet. No point starting if he isn't ready.